My Life. My Love. My Rock!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! PLEASE READ!

2011-06-20T02:06:00.002+08:00

;P

HELLO EVERYONE!

I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE MY NEW BLOG:
CLICK HERE PLEASE

PLEASE VISIT WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME AND WOULD MUCH MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU ALL CAN JOIN IN MY NEW BLOG

MISS YOU ALL AND PLEASE DON'T STOP WRITING!

SEE YOU AT MY NEW PLACE?
:D

So in love with this man!

2010-10-05T01:51:00.004+08:00

He came into my life like a storm.

I can't help but to fall in love really hard.

His preach is so easy and peaceful.

Falling so hard and it makes me believe I wouldn't find some one like him anywhere else..

He's none other than..

MAHER ZAIN!!!!

His face reminds of me Chris Daughtry and his voice too!

Anyhow, I just love this man.

I love all of his nasyeed songs!

I never thought I would love nasyeed songs as much as this one.

He came into my life and changed everything about me.

Just through his songs..

I become a better person.

Owh dear Maher Zain, you have no idea, what you have done!

And right now, I'm demanding for a husband like him..
Is it too much to ask?

"Thank you Allah" is the album.

Go get it guyz!!! It's worth every cent of your money!
Trust me!

My driving becomes more meaningful while listening to this album.

Owh dear Maher Zain, your wife is just SO LUCKY to have you!
:)

I'm back! :D

2010-09-30T03:02:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA!

I just think this is very funny.
I really want to make this blogging stuff possible for me, but everytime I read some one else's blog, I feel very lowly of myself.
I mean come on, every one seems to have a lot of stuff to write and it is always interesting to read, not like mine. Seriously dude!
Anyhows, I really want to make this possible but I have to make this blog not as lame as before.
I'll try my best! Wish me luck! :D

Teman Sejati

2010-07-24T03:28:00.002+08:00

Currently, I've been listening to nasyid songs.

It's really soothing and it gets us closer to Him.

It is when we are sick and tired of all sorts of contemporary love songs, if you know what I mean.

So, I remembered this old nasyid song, Teman Sejati by Brothers.

Click here.

This song is really something. It's about some one who is looking for a true friend as a companion for life.

True friend in this context is of course a wife or husband. I like it when it is referred as "teman yang sejati".

So, here I am, searching for a true friend to go through this sacred battle, to achieve happiness in this world and of course in Here-after.

Still searching...

"ku mencari-cari teman yang sejati buat menemani perjuangan suci..."

HELLO!

2010-05-30T18:05:00.003+08:00

It's a been a while.....

I don't know what had possessed me lately, but I just can't concentrate on what to write for this blog. A lot of things are going on in my life, but still I didn't feel like to blog about it, it's not I have lost my interest towards writing, it is just plain laziness. HAHAHAHA.

Alright, I feel like blogging again so I guess I will try to write about anything interesting in my life right now.

At the age of 23, I can't believe I'm in the middle of the situation where I have to think about my future husband already! I mean, it's a big thing, I never thought it would happen this fast, but hey, it's happening now! I'd love to blog about it.

So, stay tuned for my next post, yaw!

When You're Gone

2010-04-22T02:32:00.002+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

I MISS YOU CHEK..... ;(
we will meet again one day...

Grown-up Conversation

2010-03-05T04:39:00.006+08:00

Just recently, I had this conversation with one of my friends. This friend of mine, she likes to share her experience with her previous boyfriends, and her current boyfriends as well. Yeah, I got that right, boyfriend with the s. Fyi, she is a mixed Sabahan. I envy her body. Beautiful front and back (well, at least I think so la). What more can a girl ask for? :P

So, she shared with me how she deals with her boyfriends (how many let's not talk about it k) and I bluntly told her "wow, how I wish I can be like you!" after hearing her stories. Errrr, to think about that again, no thank you. I like myself right now better. I just wanted to be sounded cool I guess. ppft.

Then, I innocently asked her, "what about if kantoi later in the future?"

And she said something like this, "well, first comes first, there's no such thing as happily ever after. S**t happens. Just see la what will happen later. Meanwhile, let's enjoy the ride."

The interesting part is, when she wanted to pass me some boy who want to date her but she rejected him because of some reason.

"Are you kidding me? No, thank you!" That was my answer. haha.

So, I asked again, why did she reject that guy. Then she said, "well, i'm not interested in Malay guyz. They are not loyal, not matured, treat their gf very badly and bla bla bla..."

*crickets*

Erm, okay..

So, Malay guyz are like that. And it even occurred to me that this could be the reason why I'm still single. gulp.

Whatever it is, I'm not the type of overgeneralized person. I believe she just happened to meet with the bad ones, it doesn't mean that every Malay man is like that. right right?

Owh well, it has been nice listening to her story. There were still more, but I can't share everything here. heheheh.

What Divides Us Women...

2010-03-01T02:05:00.006+08:00

The first thing that came up to our mind (women) when we heard some guy is dating this particular girl is, "Is she covered up or not?" or in BM, "dia pakai tudung ke tak?"

Nowadays, this question becomes common among us and it actually divides us women into these groups which are covered up and of course not covered up.

So, which group are you in?

I missed out one group.There's also certain women who choose to be in between; to go covered up and not at the same time.

The thing is, we are judged by what we are wearing. Our tudung of course.

As for me, so far Alhamdulillah, I never went outside without any selendang covered my head. I pray hard on this one because I'm trying my best to stay istiqamah on covering up.

I have a lot of friends who are covered up and in fact the majority of my friends are covered up. Probably because I came from a religious school.

I hate it when people judge us by our tudung or selendang. We people who covered up are holding the image, the clean image everywhere we go. The free hair women are always referred to the not so nice attitudes.

But to tell the truth, there are no such things anymore.

The vanity is everywhere, covered up or not, we women (or human;to be in general) are always exposed to the vanity side.

I'm not a good muslimah even though I'm covered up. I'm not happy with that and always pray hard for hidayah... :(

I've been thinking of life in Here-after a lot lately.

And I'm thinking what will happen if God takes my live when I'm not ready like right now? Because to count all my ibadah right now, it makes me wanna cry so hard....

Just covering our hair is not enough! There are a lot more of things we women need to do!

Therefore, I have decided, I should read a lot on spiritually inspired books. Currently, I'm reading this book "You can be the happiest women in the world". Just about time (thank you PD!), I was looking for something good to read, rather than to read those fiction books, I'm so happy to have one of the copies right now. I just start reading on it, I'd probably put up a review on it later on in the future. InsyaAllah.

Covered up or not, let's together we try our best, pray hard, look for hidayah as much as we can. And after all, it's never too late to do the right thing now. InsyaAllah.

p/s, I never believe in "heaven can wait", it only works on narrow-minded people.

It's Okay If You Want To Get Married...

2010-02-20T02:40:00.008+08:00

Hurmmm...

My best friend revealed to me not long ago, that some one asked her to get married. Some kind of proposed I guess.

I had a shock of my life!

I don't even know that guy, she just told me like that, it's indeed shocking!

So, I was being a total jerk. I told her all the excitements that she'd be missing if she gets married at this age.

Not to be jealous or anything, but I was simply being selfish. All I was thinking was that, "How am I going to go shopping if she really gets married right now?" or or or "I can't hang out with her anymore after this, not after she got married with I don't know who that guy is!"

I was thinking straight. I'm sorry.

I should think more on her side. She seemed puzzled as well. And I shouldn't be telling all those things that totally not helping her decision. Well, it does help but it is just not it.

From now on, I'll be more rational and supportive. To my dearest best friend, I really really really love you and if you really really really think and have already given a deep thought ~~about my opinions~~ about it, I think it's okay if you want to get married now. Like you said, it's a big big decision.

I don't wanna be such a jerk friend, and keep you from what you really want. Follow your heart, and most importantly, solat istikarah if you have to. hee.

Since we'll be graduating soon (well, I have another semester ahead), I don't see it as a problem anymore to think about marriage. Maybe your time has come.

As for me, I'll be fine. I'll be your fairest bridesmaid, if it going to happen this soon laa . teehee,

So, here I even have a picture of a perfect wedding outfit. I'm sure you will love it as much as I am. hee.

Credit picture to tealovecoffee. :D

I think you'll like it in green rite? hehe.

Nevertheless,

FRIENDS FOREVER! =)

First Love

2010-02-18T18:48:00.006+08:00

Everyone will have the experience with the first love.

Some might get very lucky, end up with the first love and still going strong.

I envy you people.

At this very moment, I just realize that my first love is truly my first love.

What I mean here is, I just realize how strong my first love is. I even pat myself at the back, admiring myself for still having the same feeling for about 11 years. With the same guy.

He was my first love.

I still remember how naive I was back then but still I was able to like, admire, or love, this guy.

I thought I've already moved on, but I guess it's never easy to walk away.

I bumped into him recently, and we even met at our so-called reunion. Well, I remember I was very cool, we talked like two old friends who haven't met for a long time. Inside my heart, only God knows what!

He looked stunning like always. Well, depends on how you perceive stunning as this is full of biased! You have to understand this situation.

Erm, I guess I'm okay, nothing to feel sad about, it is all in the past now. It's time for a new chapter. Looking back once a while is okay, but don't get too carried away, it will only do us harm.

Wait, nothing to feel sad about eh? Maybe a little bit.

Well, at least we're still friends, that's important.

So, all the best to all of us. Good luck in every thing you do.

And as for me, it's time for a new love. I will keep searching and searching until I get fed up. I don't mind. Life is just cruel like that.

Words of wisdom: "You don't just stop loving someone; either you never did or always will."

Too Scared

2010-02-04T01:50:00.002+08:00

It's been a while.

Been pretty busy.

Today, I was shocked with the news I heard from kampung.

One of my neighbours passed away late evening yesterday. Innalillah. Al- Fatihah.

This is very shocking.

And I can't accept any kind of shocking news from kampung, I will become too scared, don't feel comfortable just like right now.

;(

I'm worried about my family; parents at home. So damn scared. If anything happens to them, I don't think I can go on with my life...

I'm too scared now until I can't sleep, I can't close my eyes.

God, help me, I need more strength.

I don't like this feeling.

And I just wanna home now~

The Girlfriends

2010-01-25T05:41:00.003+08:00

*demam*

Gosh, I thought I was one of the toughest people to get any infection easily but I guess my anti-body is not that strong anymore. I have to take some supplement or something to get me going tough again. Well, if that ever going to work la kan. haihhh.

So, I'm not feeling well. The best people to be around me right now are my good girlfriends. They are being very nice to me and I'm glad to have them around, especially when I'm sick, they are always there to cheer me up and willing to send me to the clinic. Thank you guyz! You know who you are. *wink*

And I'm thinking, so far I have so many girlfriends to compare with the boy-friends. This is pretty fun actually. And I love my girlfriends!

This probably happens because I came from all girls school. And and *coughcough*...never mind about that. hehe.

The cool thing about having girlfriends, we won't have any problems in hugging each other and especially times like this, I need as much hugs as possible. :(

I miss my family actually.....

However, I have to be strong. I admit I'm a spoil child, but right now, I'm trying my best to stand on my own. My family are far away, and I have to be independent.

This is not going to be easy. Right now, I fell sick but this is not going to stop me from doing my routine . And since I'm doing my practicum now, I think I need to be more decisive. I have to be determine to achieve something. And after all, I'm the role model for my students now. So, I need to behave.

Wait, I was talking about my girlfriends lah, see I've melencong. teehee.

Owh yeah, I don't mind to be friends with many girlfriends, but I'M STRAIGHT okay!

Owh, I'm done with my ROS report! Yeay!

But there's something upsets me at the moment...

(-_-)

An English Teacher

2010-01-20T02:55:00.006+08:00

As I was looking at the students running during the recess time, I wonder how are the future of these students. Most of them are Chinese, and I'm here teaching these kids.

I feel very awkward at first, not to be a racist, as the one Malaysia mood is in the air.

I've never been before in the circle of other races. So, I never knew how to deal with them.

This is my first time to be in the groups where everyone is sepet. Well, it's not that there's no Malays and Indians but Chinese are the majority here.

As a teacher, we should know well about what we should do which is to educate the future generations. Without complaining, we have to because this is what we have chosen. And I think I'm in the right path.

The taxi driver once told us, how proud should we be, to become an English teacher in a Chinese school. And I have to agree with him 100%.

People might not know what we have been through everyday., the challenges we are facing in educating them.

These Chinese kids, most of them are not from very highly-educated family because if they are, they wont be there, they would probably be in more standard secondary school.

The problem with these kids is THE LANGUAGE. They are good in speaking Chinese but they are very weak in Bahasa Melayu. So imagine, we're here to teach them English?

What should we (the trainee English teachers) do?

We have tried body language where our hands and face expressions are used to the max! That's why we are very tired every time we finished our classes.

*yawns*

I guess I better hit the sack. There are still a lot of things to write here but I'm too tired now.

Owh yeh, I have to teach Pendidikan Seni tomorrow. Argh! I hate it! I mean, I hate doing something which basically I have no idea of what to do, it's not even my minor! I can't just neglect the students (that's no good), I mean I can just go inside the class and ask the students to draw whatever they want because I can't guide them with drawings, it's simply because I can't draw. How can I teach them! I'm crying silently. T_T

Owh well, I'll figure out something.

Good nite.

p/s, I love my students.

Long Way To Go!

2010-01-18T16:34:00.003+08:00

I'm at school right now, no class for today.

So, basically, I have nothing to do and that's why I brought along my lappie today.

The cool thing is, I can facebook-ing here in the staff room! teehee! Well, it's not really a staffroom because it's more like a textbook room. We don't mind as long as we're happy. huhu.

So here we go, I'm thinking, I'm in part 7 now, and there's another semester ahead. After that we'll be graduating. InsyaAllah.

I never have a solid plan for my future but I guess I'm pretty sure that I want to become an educator as in the way to contribute to my beloved country. We owe our country so much, aren't we? So, why not do something in order to appreciate it. I love you Malaysia!

Some of my friends are busy thinking of getting married already and some even planned to get married in the near future.

There's a new teacher here told me that marrying at young age is not fun. So, she advised us not to get married at early age. And I take it as a good thing and it made me feel so much better. phew! haha.

The thing is, it's still a long way to go.

And I don't want to fall in love in this near future. It's simply because I know how it hurts and I don't want to go through it all over again.

I don't mind getting married late, if it takes for me to be happy. There's no point of having someone special (yeah right!) but I'm still suffering. Been there, done that.

Sometimes, I think I'm heartless.

But it's okay, I'll find my heart one day.

Remember, it's a long way to go!

Let's do this! Bring it on, LIFE!

This year...

2010-01-18T05:24:00.005+08:00

Hello!

I seldom posted anything since the new year.

Been pretty busy with the practicum and stuff and of course laziness gene! haha.

Let's cut the crap. I've been doing a little "research" on handbags. The answer is only one word, it is CHANEL!

A Chanel bag is the only thing that I've be dreaming, dying to own......in my dream!

So, I bought new handbag and new clutches. And this year, I'm going to have loads of new bags and clutches since my mind can't stop thinking of having a collection of bags and clutches especially!

My parents won't be happy about this. But I always believe that these babies are really my happiness at the moment. They are my ultimate happiness, since my family are far way from me. Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not staying abroad or something.

Other than bags, I'm thinking to have new blazers. I'm thinking of the cool design where there are beads on the shoulders. I've found it but I should be patient not to just buy because I might find something cooler than that later on. Or maybe I should just buy? Find another one, just buy it too?

And I keep telling myself, "Money doesn't just grow on tree, Durrah! So spend wisely!"

Don't worry, I AM planning my financial right now, ehehe. I mean after posting this post, or maybe later on, when I'm free, when I feel bored, or maybe next week? Erk....

(-_-")

Practicum Kick-Off!

2010-01-06T09:08:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a history!

It was my first day at my school! First day on my teaching practicum of course!

One word to describe it, CHAOTIC!

Have I mentioned it's a Chinese school?

Well. it's like 99 % of the students are Chinese and they speak Mandarin most of the time! There are some peralihan classes where they can't speak Malay or English and imagine how would I handle those classes???

T_T

Owh well, I take it as a challenge and I love challenges! Bring it on! xD

For this week, we were given a 22-period schedule replacing some teachers. Just for this week though but I can foresee it's going to be a long hell-like week!

Anyhow, it's going to be fun I guess, give some space for optimism, will ya???

Owh yeah, the four of us (Emmie, Has, Gee and me) are given the evening session. Not so cool, because we were informed that the students in the evening (which consists of Form 1 and 2 students) are very very very active! So, good luck to the four of us!

We were told that we will given 5-period classes for English and the other five periods for other subjects such as Pendidikan Jasmani, Pendidikan Seni, Pendidikan Moral, and etc etc. (Please take note on the Pendidikan Seni).

So, we were so excited about it? Pendidikan Jasmani??? Hahaha! Interesting! Pendidikan Moral, okay laa. Pendidikan Seni??? hahahaha! God Bless me!

Here is a picture of my first day inside of the classroom teaching the form 1 and 2 students. Note that, I drew the picture myself.

erm, it was just a relief class, i know...

it was out of control!

By looking at my drawing above, am I eligible enough to teach Art lesson???

(-_-")

Girl Power 101: Forget the jerk!

2009-12-28T15:53:00.011+08:00

So, here is the case.

My friend told me something has been bothering her mind.

So, slowly I asked her, what's her problem, and she gathered her strength and finally she spoke out.

She said, there's a guy from her past came back into her life and apparently she realized that guy has only came back for all the bad reasons. What happened in the past was real.

She added, that guy has a girlfriend and they are having problems. She thought she was there to help him, to make things clear. She obviously has got into trouble by helping that guy.

Apparently, it wasn't kind of regular help, no need to go details into that.

And I asked her, "why did you go to him at first place? You know he's up to no good. And I know you wanted to change and leave the past behind? What happened?"

She said she was out of her mind that time, she got frustrated with other guy (guy B), and the guy from the past (guy A) came right in time and she went to the guy without thinking rationally. She must be very upset about the guy B.

I asked her how's everything now? And she said that guy A is happy with his girlfriend now, and ignores her.

The problem here, she felt used, and the feeling of anger, hatred mixing up altogether.

My, that's really bad because it's never good to have so much anger and hatred in our soul.

So, I told her, just let go. That guy is obviously useless for her. Nothing but a burden to slow her down.

Build a forgiving heart (just like my post earlier *ahem*) and give herself some space to move on, and never look back.

From my own experience, a guy can be very deceiving through his looks and his words especially! Don't get deceived. Make sure nice means nice.

Girls, we can't be pushed down anymore, stand up on our own, don't count much on men. Well, we still have to count on men after all. Think of our father or our siblings.

Remember, doesn't mean if you get frustrated with one guy, it applies to others men too. Give some space for rationality.

I told my friend, there are so many men out there, I'm sure you'll find a fine one for her.

About the jerk, just pray for his best in life and leave everything to God. There's no need for revenge or anything, let the time decides everything.

I emphasized that she should never contact him after this, and since that guy is ignoring her, this will make things easier. Just remember not to have any pity towards him anymore after this.

She seemed fine after I explained to her. And she feels so much better now.

Till next time,
XOXO~

Heaven Ain't Cheap

2009-12-28T03:53:00.008+08:00

I was reading one of my fave blogs, it was about her intention to cover her head and she's facing a dilemma in committing her intention.

My opinions here would be a little too strong for certain people, but it is really bothering me not to voice it out. Sorry.

Why do I cover my head at first place?

I remember my first time covering my head was after I've reached puberty and I felt that I have no choice because I believe God is always there for us, watching us. I believe it is sinful not to cover our head.

In the present time, I'm still wearing hijab (However, my hijab has gotten shorter as time goes by, ;D) and I'm not planning to take it off any time in the future. InsyaAllah.

When talking about covering our head, it is related to the activities that we do daily. Which means here, what we wear influences what we do.

I know wearing hijab can be very deceiving which these people might have more serious social problems, but think of this way, those people at least they have escaped from the sins of showing their hairs to others. What say you about this?

I'm so sick of people mocking upon this matter. And for the worse, using this matter as the excuse for not covering up. Each piece of hair is counted here. What do you say about this?

I have seen a lot people who have changed from wearing hijab to uncover their heads and become more daring than anyone else. I bet there's something inside them from long time, that has been begging to be unlocked. And once "the inside" has been unlocked, it went out of control. And the only key to unlock "the inside" is by uncovering their head.

I'm saying this because once they "unlock the inside", they can dress up and act wildly, they are the next good girls gone bad which is something that they are proud of apparently.

For those who are considering to cover up, please don't look upon those people who has unlocked the inside. Look upon the good things of covering up, your sincere intention. And the only intention which is acceptable is because of Him.

God has given us lives and beauty (the girls), so we need to show some appreciation towards Him.

Covering up is not option, it's our obligation as women. No matter how hard it is, consider it as a sacrifice towards Him.

This is what I've been holding onto for all this while. Or else, I would have gone bad too! I love to dress up and become wild but I put everything aside because I know I'm not that weak and I won't give this kind of vanity a chance.

There are a lot of matters that I'm facing as I'd stumble a lot of times and I regret each time and still struggling right now.

I really want to become a good Muslim and bring the name to world for others to admire.

I want to become a better Muslim each and every day. I really do. I'm talking here now as a very weak human being as I always got carried away with this modern life. However, this can't be the reason because everything starts with ourselves, bad things won't happen if we didn't start it.

I'm sorry if this sounds too provocative and please don't get me wrong as if I sound like I'm saying that I'm good because I'm wearing hijab. I'm not, I'm far away from good, and this is something that is bothering my mind when it comes to covering up, and I would like to share it with others. A little too harsh I know, but truth will always hurt. That's life, isn't it?

What I've learned back at school in my PAI subject was that, we should have always the feeling of fear towards God, because that's the only way for us to avoid doing the bad things. And I'm trying my best to hold tightly to it and I admit IT IS NOT EASY.

However, for those who are considering to cover up, consider this line, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

These intentions alone are not enough. Work towards it and always doa because that's our powerful weapon. InsyaAllah.

For some people, they are fine with doing other good deeds accept for covering their heads, and would put so many considerations to cover up.

Well, we'll never know when will God take our lives. I hope that helps.

And we all have to remember, heaven ain't cheap.

Well, if only you're planning to go there one day. Like me.

May Allah bless all of us. Amin.

Thank You Very Much! ^_^

2009-12-27T13:51:00.008+08:00

Thank you TeaLoveCoffee for these awards!
Really appreciate it!
^_^

Love Matters & Go Girl Power!

2009-12-26T22:41:00.007+08:00

Looks like I'll be staying single for a long time this time.

I know what I'm saying and I mean it. But who knows what's next for me?

Some people has been asking me the predictable questions, wondering why am I still single?

There are a lot of reasons why, but I don't want to mention here. Well, at least not now.

However, I'm surrounded with the people who are always having the problems in their relationships, and somehow the problems are really interesting!

So, I'm thinking of sharing their love matters here. Don't worry I won't tell who they are, I'll tell in general.

And I also found out that girls need to have the power to say 'NO' when the situation requires it to be. Self-assertiveness is very important here. Perhaps, I'll come out with some ideas on how to deal with it later on.

I know I'm not a good lover or else why would I be single by now, but in the way, I've learnt something. Something very valuable that some might not have experienced it before.

So, I think this will be a great opportunity to share the story with others. It will somehow help others directly or maybe indirectly.

There are some stories from others that I happened to bump into and it has become part of me. Owh, I'm so excited about this.

For the next post, I'll talk about this interesting matter, love matter of course from a friend. Poor her, she has nobody to go then she chose to talk to me.

My arms are always wide-open to all those dilemmas, feel free to drop by and share with me. I feel quite "busybody" about this matter right now. haha.

But, I'm only human, I might can just review by being a good listener because I might be out of ideas to help. And after all, I'm not a love expert, I'm just trying to help whatever I can.

That's it for now.

"SELAMAT MENYAMBUT 10 MUHARRAM (WHICH MEANS IT'S ASSYURA DAY!) DAN MARILAH KITA BERPUASA PADA ESOK HARI. THE REWARD IS LIKE PERFORMING HAJJ AND UMRAH AND DYING WITH SYAHID" =)

Daily Planner

2009-12-25T20:41:00.007+08:00

I'm looking for a good planner for this coming new year. A planner, not an organizer or a diary okay! They are three different things!

I've been looking at the stationary store at my area and none, I couldn't find any. Well actually there's one type but it is not for my type. (Does it sound out of line now? haha!)

Anyway, I'm still hoping to find one when I get back to Shah Alam. I bet Kinokuniya has it all. Can't wait to go there. I hope it's not too late because new year is approaching, and to all those people who are after the planners too, kindly please leave at least one, just one for me! Owh please!

I'm a sucker for the beautifully and colorful designed stuff so it's not easy for me to find one. haha. But I'm sure I'll find one. Erm, I'm talking about the planner of course!

I was browsing through the net and I found these which are so my type!

Look at it, such a beauty!

or this! the color is just marvelous! and these are just the cover,
what about the inside look?

very colorful indeed! err, but i think this is pretty too much,
let's try something simpler....

like this one! this is one is better.
the simplicity makes it a perfect planner!
owh i love it!

Owh, where can I find any kind of this type of planner? Any idea? Do share okay.

And I found this cool planner for teachers. I'm not sure how it works, but I think to all my dear friends who are going to do practicum, you guyz should try download it. Click here.

Really looking forward to find a good planner, with the beautiful design too of course. hehe. I really hope they are not out of stock because I'd be very frustrated and I would make a scene in the store which not really a good thing. Or I'd make the staffs over there to recheck over and over and all over again until they'll come out with the planner that I want. Pretty much not giving them any other choice but to give me what I want. They have to remember, "Customers are always right!" LOL!

Or else I would end up something like this,

err... -_-"

For The Practicum (Part 1)

2009-12-24T21:34:00.016+08:00

This is a kind of picture heavy post.

Today, I went to the stationery store and bought quite a lot of stuff for my practicum.

So, basically below are the pictures of the stuff that I bought:

LOTS of pen needed just in case if your students forget
to bring their pens!

a very long ruler (30cm), liquid paper, and eraser,
the basic stuff.

mechanical pencil and the leads
(well, you can actually look at the picture and cud tell what are they,
but i still feel like telling.huhu)

these glues are important okay! take note please. huu.

and then this, you know what it is.

a stapler and the staples

pita selefon and paper clips

this is very important! a pair of good scissors!
and of course the exam pad.

haa, this one is cute,
put everything in this so-called pencil case.
huhu.

looking good! but more to come! ^^

but not to forget this one okay! =D

Since this school that I'm going is still using the traditional teaching aid which is the blackboard, so I don't need to buy markers. Yeay!

Wait, did I tell you yet which school that I'm going to do my practicum?

Well, the school is SMJKC Chung Hwa Klang! Yeah, it's a Chinese school.

I know I'll be having a whole lot of brand new experience and I'm so looking forward for it. huhu.

I got to list down other things to buy, huuuu. Quite tiring okay!

I think this is it for now. I'll update anything new later okay.

Gosh, so tired right now, I think I'm going to hit the sack.

Goodnite!

To Err is Human...

2009-12-24T14:08:00.007+08:00

When we're small, up until now, we could never run away from making mistakes. On the way we learnt a lot of things and some even have the greatest memories that we can never forget in our entire life.

I remember when I was young, in primary school perhaps, where I really despised it when some one took my stationery, such as a pencil, because it'd make me feel really sad. It's just a pencil, but I'd still feel very sad. I was very not matured back than, and kinda still very naive as I would write a note on a piece paper and placed it in the pencil box, for example. The note would sound something like this, "If you take my stuff, I swear to God, you'd turn into a frog!"

One fine day, it was about 10 years later, I found the note that I wrote, somewhere in between the books on the shelf, and I read it. My God, what was I thinking back then? Turn into a frog? I must have watched a lot of Disney's fairy tales until it influenced my imagination that much!

Wait a minute, this is definitely out of the line. But what I'm trying to point here is that even though people like to take my stuff when I was young, I still forgave them. My mom taught me to do so. So, now it's quite relevant with the topic right?

And right now, I'm learning to forgive everyone unconditionally. Even though I was very mad before, but at this very moment, I don't want to live in anger and hatred anymore. I want to let go of the resentment and build a forgiving heart.

I don't want to be mad anymore, so I forgive everyone (whoever you are).

I know I am only human just like you and way far from perfect, so I apologize for all my wrong doings to everyone who knows me and to all dear readers who may feel irritated with some of my writings. (Don't just wait for Hari Raya to do this okay.)

And after all, we're only human we can never escape from the feelings of anger and hatred but no matter how mad we are, the most important thing that we have to remember is that ..."To err is human, to forgive is divine."

p/s, but sometimes forgiven, doesn't mean forgotten~

Heavy for the Holidays

2009-12-23T15:37:00.017+08:00

*the title, courtesy of Milk Toof. huhu.

Since it's holiday, I'm gaining weight! Nothing new about it, actually.

And I guess, it's the time of the month again, pimples are gathering on my face. It's like they are celebrating the occasion. Thank you very much guyz, appreciate it so much! What occasion, you figure out yourself. But pimple is indeed a friend. When we're stressed out, it will never leave us alone, it will always be there for us. That's a quality of a friend right? Think about it okay. >.<

It's almost the same things that ever happened to me on every holiday except for few things. Like always; gaining weight, and then never ending complaint of why is this happening to me? That's the nature of human I guess (don't want to be sounded sexist here. teehee.)

Since all of my friends around here are busy, I pretty much stay at home doing what I do best, attaching to my lappie, like right now and playing with my nieces and nephew. Well, of course there are times where my father complained that I need to get away from my lappie. I know I know, I should try some other hobby and leave this unhealthy habit. Well, it is unhealthy since it only contributes more fat to my body. How many days already I've been like this and imagine how much fat I've gained! -_-"

Well, other than that is of course it's my friends' weddings! It's like an alert to me to wake up and grow up! I mean here is to start thinking of the future! But there's a voice inside, says that I'll do fine. And the voice sounds so sweet telling me that I don't have to worry, it's okay not to get married early, like my friends, because one day I'll find my knight who deserve each other (me and him) and we'll live happily ever after. It's worth the wait. We'll see about that. Thank you sweet voice! You're so sweet! heh.

This holiday is pretty special, because since I'm going to do my practicum at school this coming new semester, I received pretty good things from my parents. hehe. My mom bought me a new watch and my father bought me a pair of leather shoes. These things are very important to become a teacher. ahem. Note again that I'm only doing my practicum not a real teacher yet. Imagine when become one later but of course, my first salary will go for my parents and family.

The next cool thing that I'm about to receive is of course something really special and it's big! huhu. I really can't wait! Praying hard for that. But I have to be patient because I have to wait for a while to get a brand new one. ehe.

Whatever it is, I have to lose a lot of weight! And I need to get out from home now and do some jogging! It's about 4.30 now, I have to go and get ready. I'm going jogging at 5. Not to brag about it but I'm going to Bukit Besar which it's very challenging to jog to the top. huhu. We'll see how it goes. Btw, McD is nearby so maybe I can stop for Prosperity afterwards. gagagaga.

Haha. Till next time, GO OUT AND HAVE A HEALTHY LIFE! =D

A Material Little Girl

2009-12-22T18:07:00.015+08:00

One day, one of my nieces, Safiah Hani kept on singing this line of a song.
" 'Cause we are living in material world, and I am material girl, lalalalalalalaaa~"

This niece of mine, she has a bit of character, which makes it very interesting to know her in depth. haha. Sounds like I'm doing a case study on her but nahh. I'm just trying to figure her out. Or maybe it is? haha. So what?

Safi, that's what we all call her, she's the princess in her family. Well, don't think it as a good thing, but think it on the other way. She annoys everyone especially my mother! Gosh, I literally can see smoke coming from my mom's ears everytime she looked at my niece. Everything that Safi does, always seems to be wrong in my mom's eyes. But when it comes to other niece, let say Iman Qistina, my mom would never do that. Yeah, you know it right. Say it or you can spell it?
F-A-V-O-U-R-I-T-I-S-M That's right!

Okay, let's not go to that issue. The focus here, Safi's attitude.

She likes to dress up in fancy clothes and would classify things into two things. "barang orang kaya" and "barang orang miskin". At first I was like WTFish? But now, I'm used to it.

My mother and her dislike each other. But when I think of my other niece such as dik Iman, she's a spoiled too, but my mother seems to favor her. Probably because dik Iman is always around at our home. Yeah, that could be the reason.

So, I had this conversation with Safi one day;

Me: Safi, do you really want to be rich?
Safi: Yes! (her eyes almost popped out when she said it)
Me: Is that so, erm, so you should marry a rich guy one day or maybe anak raja or something.
Safi: Wow! (her eyes were shining)
Me: Marry anak raja la, so I'll be famous too. And you'll stay in a palace where you will become a real princess. You don't have to do the chores and you'll stay beautiful like ever!
Safi: That sounds so good la makdik! (she put her both of her hands under her chin looked like she's imagining what I'd told her)

I couldn't stand but to laugh all the way to see her actions like that but I managed to cover it up. But I had to stop the conversation before anything bad happen or maybe she's already digested whatever I'd told her which means it was too late already. haha. I kinda enjoyed messing with her mind. teehee.

Wonder how she looks like, here's a picture of her posing using her big sis's phone.

She said she wants to keep her long so she'll look very pretty.
Note that she is so into herself.
Her siblings are sometimes sick of her self-absorptive.
Imagine how my mom feels about it? That explains right? haha.

Everytime we took pictures together, she likes to complain that I look fairer than her and it's not fair. haha. Well Safi, I can't help with it. huhu.

But I like this picture of us posing in a kind of bimbotic manner. hee. So, here it is.

I think this one is not that bimbo, but when to look at it, people would say,
"hey, like aunt like niece!"
-_-"

Family Day Around The World!

2009-12-19T22:51:00.010+08:00

I've been very stressful and today I redeemed myself.

My big bro and his family came and we went to a family day of his workplace.

I wasn't in a good mood, so at first I hesitated but then after being persuaded by his children and I didn't want to let them down so I decided to join in.

It's better than do nothing at home with messed up mind right?

So, we went there with not so promising weather cause it might just rain at any time and it did raining!

***
My 5-year-old adorable little niece really impressed me with her language, she's pelat and she speaks English most of the time. So, imagine how cute the language would sound? And her voice is just like Donald Duck! Super cute!

Meet Sarahelwa, and she was saying, "Look makdik, flower so preetee."
So cute, I want to squeeze her!

The family day was held at the our Museum (well, not really ours, but at our place at least.huhu.) and it continued in the evening at Taman Tamadun Islam (TTI). Boy, I'm so excited about this place!

Take note that there are no pictures of us posing in front of the monuments because all of the photos are in my big bro's camera and have not been transferred yet. Bummer. There are only the pictures of me and my big niece posing posing and posing at the nearby area (using our phones of course). hehe. We girls are good at taking bimbotic pictures of ourselves. Natural talent maybe. hehe.

Before we got into TTI, we were given a passport for each of us! Coolness!

The passport, of course.

Inside of the passport, it said something about TTI and I'd like to quote some,
"TTI monument Park provides its visitors with a unique experience. Featuring 21 great Islamic Monuments that reminisce the rise of Islam into a sophisticated global religion."

There are replicas of mosques around the globe and it only takes a few hours to go around the world!

The most breathtaking one was Kubbah As-Sakhrah, Baitul Muqqadis, Palestin. It was built in 692 C.E. under the patronage of the Umayyad Caliph Abdul al-Malik ibn Marwan. It enshrines the Sacred Rock and commemorates the Prophet Muhammad's Ascension to the heavens to visit God. Inside of the monument, my nieces and I were mesmerized with the uniqueness of the structures, carvings, the materials used, everything about the place! To think of the Palestians who are trying so hard to protect the mosque is indeed a very sacred effort and the least we can do to help them is to pray hard for them. God plans everything for a reason. They all will surely live peacefully in the here-after. Amin.

My advise is, to all who read this post, you guyz should visit this place, TTI. It's really worth it! And not to forget, for Malaysians, flash in your MyKads at the counter and you'll get 50% discounts! For real okay!

I've done my visit today and for my second visit in the future, I'll get the privilege of FREE tram ride or bicycle ride! So, I can save my energy of walking (and even save time too if you're in a hurry) by riding on the tram or bicycle maybe. But I'd prefer bicycle. I guess you know why. hehe.

So, since it is still school holidays, for those who are planning for a vacation and still blur of where to go, I have the solution!

Come and visit Terengganu! Where the heritage embraces culture (erm, not sure but this tagline though. hehe.).

For the shopaholics out there, there's a good news! Batiks are on great sale here!

So, think no more! Just come over to Terengganu!

You won't regret it. =)

P/S, I feel so much better now, thank you for those who concern! Really appreciate it!
*the sweetest smile*

My Hatred My Anger!

2009-12-18T04:38:00.010+08:00

I'm so pissed off right now.

I never hated anyone as much I hate some one right now.

This hatred seems like will be staying for a long time, and infinity.

From now on, I will never stop hating you. You gave me no choice here.

I am so mad right now until I could not think rationally and I know I would end up crying after this. So weak as it sounds, but at least I'd feel so much better after that.

So foolish of me to think you would change and end up like real friends? Bullshit!

You don't need me, as your friend, you have thousand other friends out there, why would you need me anyway? ppft!

Mistakes we made we can't erase it, but why can't we become better and learn from the mistakes?

I just want to get over this and move forward, and you, go to hell!

Let's Ride A Bicycle!

2009-12-17T15:03:00.004+08:00

I was watching my little niece riding on her bicycle on the other day, and the flashback of my childhood came into my mind.

I remember my first time riding on a bicycle. It wasn't something that I could be proud of.

The thing is my father didn't let me ride on a bicycle and never occur to me to ask him why.

The first time I really rode my own bicycle, (well since my parents didn't even bother to teach me how to ride a bicycle when I was younger) is when I was in Standard 6! Yeah, Darjah 6 okay. That's when I was able to cycle a bicycle. It's very embarrassing to think about it. I mean look at my niece, she's like what, 5 years old and she can ride a bicycle on her own, and I'm not talking about the tricycle.

Well, we can't turn back the time but we surely don't want to repeat the same mistake, means here, my future offspring. I won't let them to go through the same thing that I had been through. Heh.

So, on the other day, I had fun riding on a bicycle! I mean like REAL FUN! I joined the kids (my little niece and her friends) playing with the bicycle until the night after, I had a real pain at the back and under my feet. But it was worth the pain though cause I had fun! Haha. Whatever.

That was like I qada' what I had missed in the past. My big sis and her friend and plus her friend's children seemed to be enjoying watching me riding on the bicycle. Well, you guyz should be in my shoes and experience it yourselves!

Alright, I'll leave you with the pictures of my little niece and I posing on a cool ride which is bicycle of course. Ehe.

yeah, we had so much fun!

look at my little niece. what's she doing? haha.

Baby's Names

2009-12-16T22:35:00.005+08:00

I am very excited when talking about having children. My own children of course.

But let's see first. To have a baby, we must go through a marriage first just to have legal sex afterwards. Woohoo! Okay, let's not go to that extend, shall we.

Then, let's have babies! Boy, I'm so into this!

Since, I'm so single right now, I can't imagine any guy to have my baby with. ahem.

So, back to the back up plan, adopting a child!

Alright, so I'm planning to adopt a child in the near future? This is quite crazy. Why? Because I'm still young? Well, that's not quite a good reason. I'd love to become a mother at young age. I think this way I'll become more responsible towards everything in my life and appreciate my family even more.

Sounds almost nonsense, but that's the truth. And I really want to do this. I need to work hard from now on, for that.

Hey, guess what, I even have already come out with names for my babies. Ehe. Quite dramatic but it's really fun doing it. Okay, you can call me loser, pathetic or whatever, cause I don't mind!

So, I decided to adopt a baby girl and the possible name that I could come out with is Kayla Zara. Kayla means the wise child and Zara, you know one of the famous collections around here.

If it ever will happen to me to have another child in my life which I hope it's a boy this time, I'd name him Khalief Ferdous. I'm in love with the name Khalief! Khalief means the leader and Ferdous is the name of paradise. So, come together, the leader of the paradise, something like that.

Guess, I'm in love with K all the way! The names of the babies are the proof.

For those who think it is nonsense, well think again, or maybe you should try doing this.

Take sometime and come out with the list of names. You'll be very excited to have babies one day or maybe ask your girlfriends or boyfriends to get married right away! Haha. Well, that maybe too much. I got too carried away. Ehe.

Happy naming your babies! ;D

Congratulations!

2009-12-11T01:01:00.003+08:00

First of all, I would like to express my gratitude towards God. I can now think of what to wear for next semester. Just another reason to shop actually. Ehe.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS! LET'S GO FOR PRACTICUM! YEAH!

I was very excited to know that I pass all papers. It was a nightmare last semester and I finally made it. Well, this is just the beginning, there's MORE to come. I can imagine how excited I will be in the end of the last semester, after sending the thick-covered book, which is the thesis, and knowing the last semester result, which will proceed me to the graduation day, I'll be dancing with the stars! Haha!

Owh well, while I was very excited earlier, then I found another news, (I know I should not be depressed anymore, but this one I couldn't help it) some one that I know quite well, got engaged. So, congratulations to you too! You've changed, you've grown up. That girl must be really lucky. Envy you girl. I will never forget what told me before, I deserved some one better. Thanx and I wish you all the best.

Somehow, I feel kind of stupid because I was planning to visit your mother, the same day you're engaged? Yesterday right? Haha. God have saved me from embarrassing myself. I can't imagine, go knocking on your house, then meet your mother who is very busy with the engagement stuff, and me? What would I do to be in the situation? Thank you God.

So, CONGRATULATIONS to all of you!

I am just so amazed with myself. I am still strong at this point. Still strong and keep moving. Thanx to all my supportive friends. Love you guyz to the bone!

Owh well, what the heck was I thinking? ppfft.

Life is short, let's don't waste it with something not important such as looking at the past maybe? Something like that, which only will slow us down and nothing but a burden. Leave it all behind, and move forward!

I'm so grateful right now and CONGRATULATIONS again my dear friends! =)

Dealing With The Elderly

2009-12-07T23:16:00.005+08:00

My grandmother has been staying with us for about a week or so already. It has been a pleasure to have her around here. She's my mother's mother. Make sense?

However, there's a interesting situation happens in taking care of my grandmother. But before to go details on to the situation, maybe I should tell a little bit about my grandmother and my mother.

My grandmother. My relationship between me and her is not really that close. Luckily, she doesn't live far from our home, so it is not that hard for me to visit her. (which I seldom did that, I know I know how bad it is, and I kinda regret that but very grateful now that she's staying with us.)

She's only has two children which are my mother and a son. According to my mother, she (mom) was not raised by her. She (mom) was raised by some one else. I can't recall who. But the thing is, my grandmother always practices favoritism which she favors her son more that my mother and that irritates my mom the most. Nevertheless, I still love her. And in fact, love her even more now.

My mother. She's my ever-conservative mother. She's conservative that sometimes it is entertaining because of her actions and her words. The thing about her is that she is kuat membebel. I hope I won't inherit that gene one day. Sometimes, it is just too much and my father and I just ignored her bebelan. Hee. Sorie mom, it is just too much for things that is just remeh. It has become her habit. But of course the thing I'd miss the most when we're apart is her lecture! Haha.

So, here is the thing.

Taking care of the elders can sometimes be patience-testing, you what I mean? But what I can see, I have more patience to compare with my mother's. In taking care of my grandmother, my mother seems to have short temper in dealing with her. She would lose temper easily with simple things that my grandma had unintentionally done. Come on, my grandmother is in her late 80's, what can we expect from her. I said this to my heart, "Hey mom, chill out, remember karma okay?" I wouldn't dare to say it loud to her. Haha. But of course, I have no such intention towards it okay.

From the situation, I have learned something. In taking care of the elders, we have to be really sincere in doing so. My mother might sometimes lost her temper easily, but I could see she really cares about my grandma. She would buy my grandmother's favorite food and would care of her clothes to wash. Maybe it is just her habit that she can't help it. But I really hope my grandmother didn't take it too seriously. I could see, she is scared of my mother sometimes. I'll make sure she's feeling okay all the time. I'll come out with some lame jokes, she'll laugh. Ehe.

Therefore, dealing with the elders is not an easy task. Remember, it is very important to respect them, and do it with love and sincerity. InsyaAllah, everything's going to be alright. =)

Green is the new red!

2009-12-06T12:28:00.018+08:00

When talking about the green color, what's coming into your mind?

Vegetables, grasses, off-you-go traffic light color, and what else?

My mind can't thing of any other cool green stuffs at the moment.

Wait, maybe...

The Incredible Hulk?
He's a tough man but has some anger management issue.

So, what else?

Hey, come on! Have anyone ever forgotten about this one....

Yeah, ka-ching! ($_$)v
And of course if it's Malaysian currency,
it's only RM5 note is green.

Is money everything to you?

I'd say, money is very important in our life!

Face the truth, can we survive without money? If you ask me, you know what's the answer.

Yes, yes, I know I know, people might say I'm materialistic or whatever, but let's face it again, can we survive without money?

I don't think so, mate!

How to earn a lot of money???

WORK HARD laa. I don't believe in easy money. Easy come, easy go. As simple as that.

But this is not my main concern right now, cause I just want to say that green is the new red! Haha.

I'm in love with green, apparently.

I remember in the movie, "A Confession of a Shopaholic", the green scarf remember????

Yeah, it just looks good in any colors accept for yellow! Don't wear green with yellow! PLEASE!
It's just killing me, to see the combination. The movie proves me right.

So, I'm looking for a classy green clutch, but still fail to find one, the one which suits my soul. :D

But hey, I ended up buying a green purse, instead. Haha. I was thinking that it'd be a difference if I carry green purse instead of any other dull color such as beige, gray of maybe black or brown?

Anyway, I loike it a lot!

Here it is,

Tadaa!
Say hye to my new baby!

Never mean to be pretentious, but I just want to share something new with others.

Having to carry a green would be something really odd for some people, but I'd tell you not to be afraid, there's nothing wrong to try new things and after all, it's not a crime too (but if you wear something Lady Gaga for instance, it's a fashion crime!). Tee hee.

So, if you see me carrying this new baby of mine, please say HI. =)

On the other hand.....

dunno why, this is my first time wearing green.

and yeah, ahem...
do we look good together,
eh wait! i mean do we look good in green?
(note: he's my classmate and single)
:D

Sexual Revolution

2009-12-02T17:21:00.004+08:00

I was reading about pre-marital sex (why on this matter is something else), and I came cross this post from "Dewanand of Netherlands".

It is relating to the post of "Pre-Marital Sex and Indian Culture".

It is quite interesting maybe I can share with anyone to read.

* * *

After the second world war the sexual revolution started in the Netherlands. Holland was one of the first nations where sex became nothing more than a cup of coffee. In the 1960's and after it the sexual revolution in the Netherlands was extreme. there was partner changes, group-sex, tools-sex, and many more materialized forms of sexual things. Now we are one generation further and look at the results. Many old people lives in extreme loneness. Family ties are practically gone forever here in the Netherlands. The whole society does not exist here in fact. Dutch nation is being presented as a fabric, where only material profit is important.

Children here have a hard youth. I feel so sad to see that young white girls cannot be happy, their whole youth is gone. For a little girl the youth must be pure and without problems of adults. If young girls are not happy then there is something really wrong with the society. In Hindu culture young girls have the powers of Durga Maata and in fact they are treated as holy members of the society. The facts of life in dutch free sex society: Many girls have no morality anymore. They see themselves as lower evolved creatures and they hate their own body. Mentally they are depressed and the result is that they do not enjoy relations with men. Lesbianism is very normal here in the Netherlands. Many young women are single and have no relations. Many white Dutch boys cannot find a girl here anymore, because the culture is gone and the pressure to be good in the sleeping room is extreme. There is always a man who is many times better and the Dutch boys knows that this is the reality. Love is gone. Tenderness is gone. Relations are built upon sexual needs, without the feeling of being connected with the other soul.

Love is completely materialized.

My vision: I think that sexuality is very important for every human being. and that's why it is better to marry at young age, to develop your own feelings toward and to fulfill your duty to reproduce. Every human being needs intimate relations to feel that he/she is living and enjoying life. But men have other definitions of intimacy than women. Maybe it is better to learn more things about the female vision on intimacy and love.

Sex and pornography are typically male things in society, because men have more needs and they must prove that they are good and potent or full with brutal male energy. Maybe it is better to make it easier to find a public woman and to let young boys develop their sexual personalities, But it is even better to let young boys marry early ages and to learn how to love somebody and to take care of the weaker gender.

The biggest problems in the Netherlands: Sexual orientation. many males have a homosexual phase in their life to experiment with the own gender. sex is the only goal of many males here. just like a sickness that cannot be cured. Many girls do not want a friend anymore and they decide to live alone forever, without children. Empty lives, filled with the richness of many thousands Dutch guilders.

Having mountains of money yet being extremely poor . Typical Dutch life here.

Many women here told me the following things: The men are just like animals, because sex and dirty pornography (doing things) are the only goals in a intimate relation with a female. The respect and tenderness are gone in free sex societies. Only doing (mating activity) counts. The satisfaction of women is very low and relations are terminated without being started.

Why do we condemn tenderness and deep intimacy (immaterial) between a man and a woman as being old-fashioned and backward? Old traditions are based upon wisdom that is developed during many centuries. the technology of the human spirit is lost nowadays and developing it again will take many centuries. We are back at the stone age, where females were preys and males were the hunters.

THE END

2009-11-27T22:20:00.003+08:00

This is it.

It's the end of all the heart aching, breaking into pieces....

and finally.......

HAPPILY EVER AFTER?

But I'm sure if it's in the real world, it will be more than that?

I mean is it really happily ever after ending, after all?

Let's not talk about it right? There's no use to argue anyway, if it's the fate.

While watching, tears rolling down on our cheeks, sob sob sob.

I like this line, "Tuhan takkan menduga kita sesuatu yang diluar kudrat kita." Something like that laa. But it really means so deep. So true.

I'm going to miss watching this series. Missing already! Luckily, there are online sources. Thanx TV3! Really made my day!

So, so long Nur Kasih! And hello Alif Firdaus? I bet that one can't beat Nur Amina! Huu.

p/s, I heard there will be the sequel of Nur Kasih? If it is, it would be so cool! ;)

LoNeLY KeR? TeST!

2009-11-26T23:52:00.005+08:00

Okay, here are a few questions.
To test your loneliness level and how lonely you really are.

So, here we go.

1) Are you feeling lonely right now?
(a) No
(b) Not sure
(c) Yes

2) If yes (If no, don't need to proceed laa okay!), is it because you're single?
(a) No lah. Cis.
(b) Yes. Cis.
(c) Cis!

3) Hey, come on! Don't you have any siblings to argue with?
(a) No.
(b) Yes.
(c) Yes, but they don't care about me.

4) Any friends to mess around?
(a) They all have their lives, no time to listen to me.
(b) My friends are many but everyone seems busy. This is similar to (a) above laa.
(c) All above. LOL!

5) Wait a minute, what about your parents???
(a) They are too tired to argue with me.
(b) Sometimes, there are things we can't share with them.
(c) All above.

6)Why laa?
(a) I don't know.
(b) Maybe I should be more independent.
(c) All above

Alright, let's check.
If your answers are all C, it means that YOU ARE LONELY!
Congratz!

WISER PEOPLE

2009-11-26T10:11:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, I hung around the wiser people. (The word wiser should give you the idea of the people or else think of your parents and grandparents.)

We were doing the preparation for the wedding ceremony this coming Sunday.
It was so much fun to be hanging around with those people. Like I said, they are the wiser people. So, when we talked, we talked about their lives, their families, their kids, gossiping (duh, women!), everything which made me wonder how's my life in the future would be?

It's pretty amazing when I could join in the gang. Adding up some humors (which I was afraid at first, wouldn't be accepted?) But, I was lucky maybe? Or it is just my nature? I am easily accepted by the wiser community. Haha. Whatever.

So, today I'll be joining them again. I'd feel so grown up to be accepted among them. (G, I feel so old? But wiser! Tee hee.)

Hopefully, I'd gain something today. And of course a lot energy needed today. Since I'm among the not-so-wiser people, the energy is much needed.

I'll leave you with the picture of my niece and nephew on the wedding pelamin. They were excited and Iman Qistina has this dream of marrying Dafi AF one day. LOL. (spot the little girl in red).

NO MORE!

2009-11-25T22:35:00.003+08:00

Orait.
NO MORE depressing post after this.

This is the brand new me!

Let's stay positive and always keep THE BIG SMILE on our face!

*the sweetest smile*

UNDER MY OWN SKIN

2009-11-24T21:32:00.007+08:00

Here's the thing.

I've been thinking,
what exactly is going on with me?

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking, think, think, and think,
and finally!

The answer is...
I'm a stubborn girl! Very stubborn in fact!

Very stubborn and PLUS kuat merajuk! What a complete combination!

I'm stubborn that sometimes I just don't want to listen to people around me, even my parents!
I have this stupid ego which I grew up with. And I can't get rid of it. It's part of me now and I can't imagine my life without my ego!? Pfft!

My current mood of my ego is "I'm fine, I don't anyone but myself to comfort me."

So, I guess that is why I'm better off on my own, cause that is what my ego is telling me to and I agree with it.

Then, the next point is, I am kuat merajuk which is quite a synonym with myself. Ask my friends, I'm sure they have a lot to say about that. Haha. Sorry babes, I really can't help it. Ehe.

Blame the stupid ego.

And I'm thinking again, maybe that is why I'm still on my own. I'm argumentative, I like to argue. This is definitely not a good gene for a girlfriend. Well, maybe.

Well, since it is a nasi minyak season, it occurs to me to think about my future spouse (whoever he would be).

To find some one who will accept me for who I am is never easy. I need to be with some one who I feel comfortable to be under my own skin. I don't need to pretend to become some one else. My ego would come in between but so far, I still control it. I mean still remember some one told me, "Remember, don't let your ego clouds your mind." And I found it very true.

I talk loud (maybe it's typical people from the East Coast?), I laugh loud too (especially with my crazy course-mates), I argue a lot lately, well, what else? I'm not like every other girl, I am me. If some guy like to be with a lemah lembut girl, I definitely fail to be the candidate. I somehow envy those girls. Haiya!

However, I never ask for Mr. Perfect as I'm not perfect myself. I just want to become a better person. Togetherness, we make it through this life, work on our imperfections, work on our weaknesses and together we become better people. That is exactly what my dream is.

So, I guess, I should just stay as who I am, right? My knight must be somewhere out there, still searching for true love (if it ever exists laa) just like me. Don't lose faith ya? I'll be waiting for ya!

Gosh, this is so pathetic! T_T

Anyway, I should stop now before I'm going nonsense.
Till next time, toodles! :D

Love me sincerely for who I am,
and I'll have no reason to deny it~

IT'S NEVER EASY

2009-11-23T08:02:00.003+08:00

What happened between you and me in the past,
It's never easy to forget.

Maybe you have forgotten,
You left me bleeding before,
I can tell you, it hurt so bad!

It's never easy to forget everything about you,
Never been easier,
And yet I managed to forget about you,
By hating you so much,
Until the feeling became neutral,
I didn't feel either hate or like you anymore.

You have no idea what I've been through,
My heart had damaged since the day,
and slowly I healed it,
and slowly I gained some happiness,
through true friendship.

It's never easy until now,
It's bleeding again,
Imagine how I feel about you right now?

W.O.M.E.N.

2009-11-22T07:04:00.000+08:00

“Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.”

A ROOM OF HATRED

2009-11-21T13:52:00.002+08:00

One of my friends once told me,

"If you want to forget someone, you have to hate that person very much."

CONVERSING IN ENGLISH

2009-11-20T00:45:00.002+08:00

Here's the problem,

During the group discussion for the macroteaching, I found it very hard to converse in English among the group members. This is like the first time we were assigned in the groups where we couldn't get to choose the group members (well, if we were among our closed friends, we would be conversing in Malay of course! xD). I admit, I was very uncomfortable at first but after a while, I found it very interesting and inspiring to work with the people outside of the circle. It's like something I would do it long time ago but didn't get the chance, and there's a factor of don't-want-to-offend-our-friends, if we didn't join them in the group discussion. Or maybe it is just me who think too much? Pffft!

Okay okay, my point here is that, I couldn't converse well in English. I would mix up everything, mumble here and there, and use the wrong pronunciation usually! Hahaha! That is why "practice makes perfect" is well known! My speaking skill is kind of rusty now and I need to converse in English as much as possible!

However, there are times where I could speak in English very fluently, in fast pace, it is just so weird laa dey....

But don't worry, next semester, I'll make sure all of my students to speak English during my periods and I'll encourage them to speak in English even outside of the classrooms. Sounds like a very tough job, but I what I can do is, never stop, to never give up, and never surrender! I'll do my best! InsyaAllah. ^^

So, let's converse in English, people! So that other people won't look down at us easily. =)

PROUD FUTURE TEACHER

2009-11-19T01:17:00.005+08:00

"I'm a proud future teacher!" Yes, that's right! I am!

Next year, I'll be starting to do my practicum in any school around Shah Alam, Klang, or Damansara. Cross my finger, I hope I will be sent to an okay school. Haha.
However, I don't mind which school actually, because what really matters is within me. I have to be prepared mentally and physically to face any kind of student inside of the classrooms.
So, here I am, working on my lesson plan for my macro teaching, just another practice before going into the real world which is the school! Yeah! I'm so looking forward even though I'd pee in my underwear when to think of the types of problematic students. LOL!

Okay okay, I'm cool now and hopefully I'll keep my cool till the end.

Teaching is a sacred profession. I can't wait to serve my beloved country by helping those poor students to be advanced so that they won't be left out in this ever changing world. I can't change the whole world but the least I can do is to do the best in what I'm doing right now. And let's contribute something to our country, shall we?

Political situation in our country is pretty messed up right now. But don't lose faith, just yet.
Give it another chance, and let's see how it goes. We can't change certain people with their obsessive perspectives, but as the future teachers, we can make a different. I'm not talking about "hey, don't vote that party, vote this one!" NO, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEAN. My point here is that let's create a future generation where they can think rationally. If something is wrong; obviously wrong, so it is wrong. Have the guts to voice it out and let's do the right thing right! Don't blindly support something which is obviously wrong in any manner. To be able to know the right thing, that is why the knowledge and education are VERY IMPORTANT.

Therefore, I am very proud with my path right now. Proud future teacher eyy? Ehe. :D

P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.

2009-11-18T23:42:00.003+08:00

First of all, I would like to say this. My life is pathetic! Ho yeah!

Well, about the plan of getting an adopted child one day is no kidding actually.
A lot of consideration need to be put. And I have to be really prepared mentally and physically.
When I become a mommy, I 'll have limitation in everything..kot? But the most obvious one is of course I'll have to limit my time hanging out with friends, which I find it very hard to do it. BUT, the same thing will happen to them (my friends) when they have their own families. So, I guess when everyone is busy with their partners, I'll be occupying myself with the motherhood life. A single mom sounds so cool rite? (Note: this will sound very pathetic, so please help yourself, you can laugh if you want to.)

People has been telling me all the stuff like "Come on, Durrah. There are so many guyz out there for you. You'll find someone, one day." and there's this friend of mine who sort like accused me for going against the nature or sunnah Nabi S.A.W. She must get me wrong. It is not that I don't wanna get married, I really want to and have my own babies. I put everything to His hands. The adoption is just a back up plan mana la tahu if I kawen lambat ke, well at least I already have a baby to accompany me when I'm lonely, right?

Owh well, everything is a mess so far. With the interruption of the guy who's supposed to be gone long time ago, it makes a complete mess. I only wish to tell him one thing which is "Hey, if you really wanna do this, come on and do it right okay!"(regardless whatever I said if you really want to do it). But he seems happy without me, so WTFish I'm still thinking of him right?

So, what I'm doing right now is moving on with my life and stick to the plan no matter how pathetic it is. Let's move forward and never look back! YEAH!

HEY YOU!

2009-11-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

Hey you,
I let you go, even it seemed so hard,
so don't come back,
just don't come back, don't ever come back.

Hey you,
the reason is simple,
we are not meant to be together,
I'd only bring the bad news,
it's like a disease.

Hey you,
I believe you'll find the kind of happiness in your life,
maybe it is already in front of your eyes, and you're holding it,
so open your eyes and don't let go of it,
don't ever let it go, 'cause I know how it hurts.

Hey you,
I know it is not love, you don't even love me,
And I know you're good at it,
and good at messing with my mind.

Hey you........goodbye~

(-_-)

WORKING CHICK

2009-11-14T09:27:00.006+08:00

Salam.
Well, seems like I'll be using my weekends by working. How boring it is, but it's good to get busy when there are lot of stuffs are messing with your mind. So, I'll be working my best and hopefully things won't get hard on me. A newbie meh. Huhu.

And I'm still thinking of adopting a baby in the future. Therefore, this will be a good practice for me to gain so much money as possible. Chaiyok Durrah Farahi! I can do this! Let see how it goes.

p/s, this is so pathetic okay!

CINTAKU...

2009-11-12T09:25:00.003+08:00

Cintaku tak sempurna;
tidak penah sempurna.

Mengapa pergi meninggalkanku
di saatku memerlukanmu?

Aku pasti ini cinta,
dan cinta ini hanyalah untukmu.

MY LIFE PLAN (part 1)

2009-11-06T12:35:00.001+08:00

I've been emotionally down lately, but I' getting better now. Ho yeah! I was thinking about my life plan a lot lately. So, here it is:

I need to get a job with lucrative profits, then I'll work super hard and until I'm financially stabled, I wanna adopt a child or two. Then, we'll live happily ever after. InsyaAllah. Life should not be complicated.

Don't get me wrong when I say I wanna adopt a child. I wanna get married, and have my own children, I really want to. But to think of the process, going through a relationship with a guy is very complicated. Sometimes, I think I will never find the right one for me. Pathetic! Saya lebih rela single je memanjang kalau jumpa2 dengan lelaki tak guna je, bukan cinta! Saya mahukan cinta sebenar. True love! Haihhh!

Anyhow, saya berserah pada Ilahi. He knows what's best for me. About the plan above, I'll try my best to adopt a child one day. At least, bila semua orang da busy ngan rumah tangga masing2, I'll have my little angel on my own. Huhu.

HOPEFULLY...

2009-10-27T03:48:00.002+08:00

Hopefully, things will get better when I go home,

Hopefully, my mind is more stable after I get home,

Hopefully, I won't be hoping on you anymore after this,

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully,

you understand what's in my heart by now.

BIG TIME !

2009-10-26T08:54:00.002+08:00

Stupidity comes before wise. And stupidity doesn’t come only once, but MANY TIMES before we’ll finally be wise enough (well, at least wiser). I’ve learnt my lesson, big time!

URGHHHH!!!

2009-10-26T01:10:00.001+08:00

The more I try to change, the more I am still the same!

Urghhh!!!!

-.-.- Where are you? -.-.-

2009-10-22T22:50:00.002+08:00

Why are you doing this to us?
What have we done to deserve this?
Have you thought of what are we feeling right now?
We are freaking worried about you!
So please, come home, contact us
wherever you are...

-.-.- All I want is you but God knows well -.-.-

2009-10-20T21:30:00.004+08:00

Ya Allah, jika dia benar untukku,
dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku,
Jika dia bukan milikku,
damaikanlah hatiku dengan ketentuanMu...

-.-.- Older Wiser -.-.-

2009-10-11T17:44:00.003+08:00

The terms "older wiser" is very common among us when to describe the older we are the wiser we will be. I totally agreed! And I'm referring to myself! I feel so much older and wiser right now!

The more problems, issues, obstacles, difficulties, etc etc I have to go through, the more strength I'd gained and the more confidence I'd feel to go through this life. I might be very different from the previous years, and now I proudly want to say that I am matured enough to make any decision in my life. A bit too late maybe, but I don't mind. This is the real turning point of mine! No words can describe how grateful I am right now. Alhamdulillah.

Any how, there is more to come in the future and I know I'm only human; I might fall again but I believe if we keep a strong faith in ourselves, we can make it through. Yeah, I believe. InsyaAllah.

My view towards "love" has changed and the other perspectives too. For the guys who think they can come into my life and mess it all, coming for a free ride, you guys better back off! I'm furious about this. I'd rather be single for a long period or maybe forever if there is a need for me to choose between those. My love is.....

My life is beautiful even though it is not perfect or even sometimes I'd find it shitty but that's life. The real winner is when you can cope with all kinds of obstacles in this life. When you fall, you never give up, stand again even though it is very hard, stand up no matter what, keep on moving forward, achieve what we should be achieving. That's a real winner.
And remember one thing, "Kebahagiaan bukan hanya memerlukan cinta, tetapi jua pegangan dan ilmu pengetahuan".

I am proud with who I am right now. I am older and I'm wiser.
XOXO~

-.-.- L.O.V.E. is... -.-.-

2009-10-08T00:06:00.006+08:00

LOVE is...
not just about woohoo.

LOVE is...
not just about saying 'I love you'

LOVE is...
not just about hugging and kissing.

LOVE is...
not just about holding hands.

LOVE is...
not just about having fun together.

LOVE is...
beyond all above.

LOVE is...
undefinable.

-.-.- Just maybe... -.-.-

2009-10-01T22:18:00.007+08:00

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you, "Please don't go..."
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, "Please don't go"
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.

I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...

Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...

Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.

'cause we were both young when I first saw you......

~~~I hope you will keep listening to this song like I do, even though I know this love story seems impossible to happen. Thanks for remembering this song and me.......

Take a break!

2009-09-29T21:49:00.003+08:00

It's been a very hectic week and it will continue until the end of the semester. Adoyai.
Anyway, I have something really hilarious to share. It somehow can help me to loosen up the stress. I laughed so hard everytime I watch those videos and I hope you would too. Erm, if there is anyone to read this.
So, here we go...

Thanks youtube!
Enjoy! :D

Sucked Dry

2009-09-27T18:19:00.006+08:00

"Maka, layulah bunga-bunga sebelum berkembang..."

Raya is here.

2009-09-20T19:40:00.003+08:00

Today is the first day of Syawal after we had been fasting for about a month. Eid or Hari Raya Aidil Fitri is celebrated to commemorate Muslim achievements to overcome endless obstacles during fasting month of Ramadan. It's compulsory for every Muslim to celebrate it. This is the real celebration for us to be proud of.

Today, I ate a lot which is typical for every of us during this season. I didn't go out today, I only stayed at home serving the guests. Really love to meet my relatives who happen to meet once a year which is only on Raya!

I did a lot of house chores lately at home. Like yesterday, I sental almost satu rumah. I know I couldn't count on my big sis, so I should just do it on my own. Then, my big bro and I collaboratively work on changing the tikar getah. The night after that, my back and my hands ached and I have to take pain killer for that. But I'm fine now and today, like always I'm in charge in serving the guests. For the task, I have to make drinks for every guest who come to my house. There's one big family came and I have to make a lot drinks. I could see from their faces, they were quite impressed. Haha. Whatever! Afterward, of course the harder part, washing the dishes! Very tiring but it was fun.

My father changed his mind about not accepting my gift. I showed it to him and he was skeptical at first but then he somehow kinda like it and he finally accepted. Must be the ego of a man! Hah! Admit it pak!

My mother is having trouble in eating the kueh raya as she has diabetes and of course she can't eat sweet stuff. I bought her a lot of them but she can't eat all of them. It is really saddening when to think about her condition. If there's anything happen to her, I can't imagine what will happen to me..................................

I think I should stop here..
Till next time,
xoxo~

Kueh Raya Hunt

2009-09-16T02:16:00.006+08:00

Last night I went shopping for kueh raya. And so I went to PKNS. There are a lot kueh raya over there and they are cheap too! Da nak raya kan, sebab itulah lelong dgn murah sekali. So pe gi, kita pon borong laa kueh2 tersebut. There are also kerepek, kacang2, and kueh batang buruk. Borong lagi. Hahaa. Raya setahun sekali je kan, so tape laa borong je. :D

By looking at those kueh raya and kerepek2 that I just bought, I just can't wait to go home to see those faces, waaaa! Tak sabarnya nak balikkkk.... Padahal keje esaimen bertambun gi ni. T_T

Hopeefully, my baju raya is ready tuk raya. Kasut raya tade lagi, pakai yang 2 tahun lepas je laa.

A few weeks a go, I bought something for my bapak, and I told him bout that. Then the next day he sent me a message said that " No need to buy me anything. I've everything already". Guess, I have to give it to some one else. Kecik ati jugak laa. Huhuuu.

For my mom, I guess the kueh raya is more that enough. My mom loves to eat. She even told me before, if I want to buy her anything, buy her something she can eat. So I guess the kueh2 and kerepek2 are more than just enough. Gosh, I mish her much.

XOXO~

** Thinking of you...*

2009-09-15T01:48:00.001+08:00

"I guess I am thinking of you..."

And she cries...

2009-09-13T18:44:00.004+08:00

She cries
Because she realizes,
she always asks for strength
Asked for everything.
But she doesn't contribute much.
And still she keeps asking,
never stop asking,
for the strength to endure
the hardship in her life.
And she cries,
because she knows
She doesn't deserve it.

Ahi doesn't give it a damn!

2009-09-08T01:43:00.019+08:00

First of all, Ahi is my manja name at home. Pretty cute. Haha! :D

A: Durrah, you memang tak bukak tudung eh?
Me: Nape plak I nak bukak tudung?
A: Tade lah, I tengok orang lain on off je tudung tu. Sebab tu I tanya you.
Me: Owh, tu orang lain, bukan I. Pe daa...

* * *

B: Cane eh rupa you bila free hair?
Me: Erm, camtu ah, cane gi.
B: Eh, I nak tengok gamba you free hair boleh?
Me: Mesti la tak boleh.
B: Kedekut la you ni. Saving gila!
Me: (blah ah, rimas) Sorie...

* * *
Why O why?

I've been wearing my tudung since I reached my puberty, Form 2. It never occurs to me to be "free hair" like other girls. One thing for sure, my parents will be upset but that's not the thing. I don't want to touch on the hukum hakam of it because every Muslim knows it well dan seme2 pon da besa.

I'm happy to be wearing tudung just the way I am right now. I don't care if some people would like to call me orthodox or whatever, cause I don't give it a damn. From now on, I'd be more strict about it.

Our hair is our crown and only certain people would have the privileges to take a look at it. And for me, I would like to keep it to some one really special ehem ehem. Yeah, one day. :)

okay pe pakai camni. ^ ^

Materialism

2009-09-07T11:03:00.003+08:00

Materialism is a word to describe something or some one who is attached to material in his or her life. Usually, it is referred to the women who they call as "pisau cukur". What I would to focus on here is that the men who are attached to materials. It is nothing to do about being a feminist, but the idea of a guy who is being the "pisau cukur" (or maybe the different term should be used?) occurred to me this morning.

Material men is common nowadays. From what I have observed (ecehhh), they are sweet talkers which I always fall for (haha!). They always look stunning in whatever they are wearing and sometimes I would confuse which I thought they are gay. Gosh I hate them! Ermm, maybe I should not start on that. Anyhow, people always focus on the women when talking about materialistic. I think it is not really fair.

I'm not being jealous or anything with them, it is just I'm thinking of their pride and dignity. Men are supposed to have the ultimate alter ego but when it comes to this, it might be the opposite way. The women spend their money for them which means the roles have been exchanged. It is like the men are the ones who suppose to stay at home to wash the clothes, feed the babies, do the cooking and stuff??? Hurmmmm...

Owh well, whatever. This is just a thought and it is generic.

For the time being...

2009-09-06T01:15:00.004+08:00

For the time being, I'm enjoying my life; my single life to the fullest. Of course there are ups and downs every now and then, but that's life. I have to deal with those obstacles so that I will discover the beauty of all those. I'm optimist and realist! Yeah!

Sometimes, it would occur to me, wondering should I get a boyfriend right now because the thought of being a loner is pretty scary. But when to think about it again, hey come on, stop thinking about it. Remembering what happened in the past, it gives me a creep and nightmares! I have to admit, my heart was ripped out and I was left out alone to bleed. But I'm gaining my strength slowly and I'm better now. My heart is functioning quite well and I make sure that the same thing will not happen again in the future. A few precautions will be taken.

For the time being, the things that I miss so much is my home. I miss my mom, bapak, everything at home so much! Only God knows how much I miss them! Lucky for me, I have my best friend, Farhana to hang with so I won't feel that lonely every weekend. Thanx bebeh. Love you so much!

So I guess I'll keep being single for the time being until my knight will come and take my breath away and we'll live happily ever after (dream on!).

XOXO~

Dear Big Sis

2009-09-05T02:27:00.005+08:00

Dear sis,

I know I'm only your youngest sister but I have feelings too. I know "air dicincang takkan putus" but sometimes I couldn't stand you. You hurt me (not physically) a lot. I have no choice but to accept your treating towards me. It hurt so much you know. It's been my dream to have siblings who care about me and I can share almost everything with you guyz, but I wasn't lucky enough I guess. Maybe I was born to be independent since I'm away from my parents.

I know you care about your life more than anything in the world, and now you're dating somebody but at least, please don't ignore us. Sometimes, I feel very lonely and I really wish we can share the girl-talk with you but I don't think it will happen between us. Not in a million years I guess. And yeah, you can brag about your rich boyfriend because I don't care bout it. But if that makes you happy, go on, brag about it. All I ask is some attention from you and care more about my feelings. Is that too much to ask? If it is, just forget about my wish.

~Your baby sis

Infidelity

2009-09-02T23:57:00.011+08:00

This is a common issue nowadays. Here, I would like to define INFIDELITY in my own words. Infidelity is not just between a boifren and a girlfren, but it also can happen in a friendship. BACKSTABBING is the accurate noun to describe it. Why owh why this life is so difficult for me. But I have to remember, life is an art. People are freely to interpret whatever we do and there is no right and wrong in interpretation. I leaned that in literature. However, there's always the other side of the story. We can't just listen to the one side only, owh well, there is no use of talking about this. People know bout it already.

So, I would like to share some situations where infidelity takes place.

Situation 1: As a girlfriend, do we care about our boyfriend, who does he mingle with? The answer is definitely YES! WE CARE! Erm, well for some guyz, they think it is a bit too much. He might think we were trying to control them and he always wanted his space and what's next? He's seeing other girl behind our back and felt okay about it. WTF??!!! And the worse part.....owh WHATEVER!

Situation 2: What is a true friend? A friend who dun talk back of us ( I know it's impossible but there is a limit and we know it),or maybe someone who does not spread rumors about us regardless what kind of rumor it is and the situation. It means here that whatever there is a story about us, the bad ones especially, they will never bring up the story to others and add up the spice. Well, consider how long the frenship has been goin on, the gud times we had together, how cud a friend backbiting his or her friend by doing stuff that I've mentioned...? Surely, this is part of infidelity. Nak ngata orang, diri da perfect sangat ke? Satu jari tunjuk kat orang, lagi 4 jari tunjuk kat diri sendiri...And of course nobody's perfect and my point here cermin diri dulu sebelom nak ngata orang. Or maybe juz MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS plz?

Situation 3: Well, I can't continue... Maybe next time...

P/S, I don't tolerate infidelity at all~

Nur Kasih

2009-09-02T01:07:00.004+08:00

Lewat ini ku rasakan
Kasih kian ku dambakan
Resah hati yang ku pendam
Pada takdir dan harapan

Detik waktu dan suratan
Siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayanya
Dalam bayang kegelapan

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain hukum setiap insan
Mengharapkan perjalanan
Dalam maya kesamaran

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Aku kembali kerana masih
Mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Ooo kasih
Nur kasih
Oh nur kasih
Nur kasih

Aku kembali kerana
Masih mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Nur nur ya nur kasih
Nur ya nur kasih
Nur nur kasih
Nur kasih

>> Homesick!!! <<

2009-08-26T02:09:00.003+08:00

I juz wanna go home! Life has been so hard for me and I've become overly sensitive with my surroundings!
I really miss home very badly!
I miss berbuka puasa with my parents, MISS IT SO MUCH!!!
Sometimes, I couldn't take it anymore and I'd cry alone.
I'm such a baby, I know but I can't help it.
T_T

>>The Blessed Drops <<

2009-08-22T12:40:00.004+08:00

The sound of raining woke me up this morning.

It was such a beautiful morning.

I could feel the blessing of the first of Ramadhan.

It was so calm and peaceful, I feel so relax.
***

And the rain, it's a blessing,

After all the bala He had been throwing to us,

And today it is a new day;

A beautiful day,

And it starts with the blessed drops.

"SELAMAT BERPUASA TO ALL MUSLIMS IN THE WORLD!"

>> J, is that you? <<

2009-08-20T13:02:00.004+08:00

I've known this guy since I was very young. He's just a normal human being just like me. In my own eyes, I saw something in him, something special. But it happened in the past and I tried to deny everything, my feelings towards him but now I realize I can't lie to myself. I do still care about him. I know he's a jerk before, but now what I can see, he has changed. Totally changed! What hurts me the most is the fact that he has girlfriend and I think he decided to settle down. They are pretty happy now, I can see that. Until now, I'd still hold to his remarkable statement where I should find some one better than him. Well, guess this is what I'm doing right now. I'm in the search for the right one. Sometimes, I'd find it very depressing for the fact that I keep bumping to the wrong guy, and he ends up with the right one. This is not fair.

Today is his birthday and I'm sure his having a blast right now. And I'm very sure that he will receive more than just cupcakes this time. I know his girlfriend will take a good care of that. He's happy and I should be happy too. I'm still his friend and still friend with his mother. Gosh, I miss her. It's pretty amazing how easy I impressed his mom. Or maybe I'm a type of daughter-in-law material. Haha.

Owh well, this feeling should go away. I'm okay now. Positive! But I'm sure I'd feel less J (don't want to admit it) if I find my own knight. I know he's somewhere out there, still searching just like me. A path of true love is never easy. And I know if I keep on the right track, I'd be always delightful and I am very grateful to be in the circle of good people.

Till next time...
XOXO~

>> Current Addiction <<

2009-08-19T01:32:00.011+08:00

Hey guess what, my current addiction is NUR KASIH! =)

It is directed by Kabir Bahtia, who is ever-talented in what he is doing.

For those who are not familiar with the drama, I have the trailer of it, so feel free take a look at it.

It is a superb, breathtaking drama and it is suitable to watch with the whole family members.

I love the story lines, it reflects our true life in the search of true love, but of course there are certain parts which need to be exaggerated as it is a must element in every drama.

So, let's watch the trailer!

p/s, it airs every Friday, at 9pm only on tv3. ;)

>> Paco Rabanne <<

2009-08-16T18:57:00.003+08:00

I love the smell of Paco Rabanne's Ultraviolet. There is a new fragrance pour homme by Paco Rabbanne and it is called '1 Million'. It is a very sophisticated bottle design and it is a gold shape. Resembles power and money. Wahaha! The ads is awesome, and also check out the model! Let's take a look at it.

For those who are looking for a fragrance pour homme, you guyz should try this one. About the price, I'm sure for the fragrance lovers, it won't be a problem. ( Actually, i dunno how much it costs but it must be a mountain high ;D)

>> What day is today??? <<

2009-08-01T14:24:00.005+08:00

Hey, it's 1st of August and it's Friendship Day!
I woke up this morning, and my sis asked me to lock the door as she was going out to work. Then, I turned on my lappie and of course it's like a routine, facebook-ing!
I remember today is the 1st of August because some one tersalah wished me yesterday. "Happy New Month" he said yesterday. Obviously he forgot what date was yesterday. But it's okay.
However, today I didn't know it is a Friendship Day until I saw many of my friends wrote on their status and then I realized it is Friendship Day!
Here, I would like to wish all of my friends; TESLians, FB friends, Blogger friends, and my friends all over the world, HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!! =)
Without you guyz, I'm lonely! I have nobody! And you guyz really lighten my every day! Thank you very much! Love you guyz so much!
To my close friends and my best friend ever, you guyz are the best! I'm sure one day we will miss those days where we really wish we could turn back the time. Therefore, we should spend the time we have together as fun as possible. Love ya guyz. Gosh, mish you guyz already. Can't wait to see ya guyz next week!
So, let's remember this day as a day of appreciation of all our friends around us. =)

xoxo!

.:: Singles Club! ::.

2009-07-31T18:34:00.006+08:00

erm, juz take note on the Singles Club k. ;D

This entry was created after I was informed, my two hot friends, Waed and Mimi ARE NOW SINGLES! Yeah, trust me when I say THEY'RE HOT!
I know them from childhood. They are my friends from my primary school. I always felt jealous to see them back them and still admiring them till now. Some people are very lucky to be born with natural beauty and would look good in every angle. (T_T)
Unfortunately, I don't have their pictures. They're not just physically attractive but they also have the BRAINS! Wow, I am so into this! LOL.
What I would say about this is that even though they were so crazy in love before this and what happens now?
Owh well, the path for true love is never easy. So, hang on there guyz! Join me in this journey! I'd be here for you guyz! Yiehaww! (excited pelik aku ni)

Anyway, everyone is welcome but make sure you're 100% single okay! *wink*

.:: Bully ::.

2009-07-29T14:26:00.003+08:00

Adik: Akak, mana aci, asyik adik je kena buat seme keje rumah. Akak duk saje je goyang kaki.

Kakak: La, akak da kasi duet kat mak, nape nak susah buat keja lagi. Kau tu tade duet, buat care tade duet. Buat seme keje rumah, jangan nak banyak merungut.

.:: Loneliness ::.

2009-07-29T01:41:00.004+08:00

"Heyya, just call me whenever you're lonely. Tell me about everything. I'd try my best to be a good listener. Mark my words."

.:: Guilty Pleasure ::.

2009-07-28T01:30:00.005+08:00

I love to eat. It's a guilty pleasure. One day, I came cross this picture or whatever people call it, and it is a quite interesting fact. Haha. Check it out! ;D

.:: Disappear ::.

2009-07-27T14:49:00.003+08:00

A: Hey, I miss you. Don't you feel the same way?

B: It's funny because the feeling disappears. Just like that. It's like we've never been together before.

.:: It's a shitty day! ::.

2009-07-26T18:25:00.006+08:00

Damn! I think I'm starting to lose my beauty! Like seriously! Arghhh! My face is not satisfying and I'm out of shape! I did some exercises sometimes but still I love the pleasure of eating! I can't help but to crave for something oily, fatty, etc etc. This has to be stopped! =(

There's a song introduced by my cousin, Karimah Kamilah. The song is called Shitty Day by Soko. It's a cute song, and it is basically a song about what a girl feels in every relationship. Pretty much like me I guess. Here it is.

Shitty Day

I hate myself today.
I don’t know what’s happening to me.
I hate my face today.
I think I look so shitty.

I have some sweat everywhere.
I’m not even shaved.
My hair all greasy.
I look disgusting.

My eyes are glued.
My lips are chaffed.
My legs are prickling.
And plus I’m stinky today.

How can I date someone with a face like that?
I know you’re gonna dump me again,
And I am gonna cry.

Cuz you want a perfect girl,
And I’m not what you expected.
You want a perfect girl,
And I look shitty today.

Maybe I should put some makeup,
And find some crazy outfits.
But I am very tired today
And I don’t care if I’m not pretty.

Should be like these girls,
Skinny and great all the time.
I’m still wearing my slippers
And eat all the candies at home.

I should sleep more,
And stop going out everyday.
I should focus more,
And stop complaining today.

Tell me, How can I date someone with a face like that?
I know you’re gonna dump me again,
And I am gonna cry.

Cuz you want a perfect girl,
And I’m not so perfect.
You want a perfect girl,
And I look shitty today.

Tell me, how can I date someone with a face like that?
I know you’re gonna dump me,
And I am gonna cry.

.:: Reminiscing LOVE ::.

2009-07-21T23:35:00.006+08:00

With a touch of love, everybody becomes a poet. ~Plato

This semester, we were introduced to the Shakespeare subject. So far, we were exposed to the Sonnets which are Sonnet 116 and Sonnet 130. Those two Sonnets give an impact in my love life and I'm sure the same thing happens to my other friends.

Those Sonnets are basically about how strong love is in which time won't change the love even the beauty has faded away and even perhaps sexiness has gone thin. It's ever lasting love and I think Shakespeare is not a psycho just like some people might label him as one. Let's open another entry for that in some other time.

This makes me thinking of the love that ever happened in my life. It is such a waste for some one who does not know how to appreciate my love. It perhaps my fault too, but I'd be giving all my love if it is fair for both of us to deserve such thing. So far, my love has gone into the drain, never been appreciated much from some one who I expected to be the one. I thought I saw something good in you, but I was definitely wrong.

It's a like a curse, sometimes I would think that way. It's pretty pathetic. But this needs to be changed! I know in order to find the right one, I have to meet all the wrong ones. I have to be strong. God knows best and I believe it's all worth it in the end.

I don't mind berjiwangan on my own since I have nobody to give all my love to. I guess I'm better off like this. However, if people ever going to ask me, do I have crush on anyone, the answer is yes. But it is all about the curse.

I don't know why, the feeling to be loved is getting greater and greater each and every day. My time has not yet arrived and therefore, I should not feel lonely and should not fear because I'm the spark of a blissful pearl. ;)

XOXO~

.:: Jai Ho! ::.

2009-07-19T23:11:00.008+08:00

For UiTM TESL Literature students, this semester (part 6), we are going to do a movie or book review for Asian Literature subject (15% for major presentation). So, I'm thinking of doing the review on "Slumdog Millionaire". And yeah, I love the OST "jai ho!" The movie has won many awards and it is definitely an Asian movie and I'm so interested to comment on it.

The aspects which need to be focused on are:

Why do you choose the movie?
Highlight the strengths of the movie.
How did the movie contribute to deepen your understanding of Asia?
How would foreigners see differently about the movie in Asian culture.
Come out with all the literary devices and supported by our own original ideas!

For, this task, I've decided to review the movie. I hope my partner Badjie would be fine with it. The last time I checked, she was fine with it but it is still an individual review. However, we might replace the movie with other movie or maybe a book, we will see about that. Any ideas from others are much appreciated! Hey, wish me luckkkkk~!

.:: White Glam ::.

2009-07-18T00:08:00.010+08:00

I love to see people wearing white shirt with jeans or just pants especially guyz! They look so damn attractive! Owh please, some people might perasan but it is a fact. I've found it quite sometime ago. "You look so cool in your white shirt." Haha. I also enjoy wearing the white shirt with jeans; black jeans. Here, I have some pictures of myself wearing white shirt. Wahahahaha~!

at the fave spot for taking pictures! LOL!

the belt is needed so that ppl won't get confused with
a waitress! LOL!

with red shoes.

Owh well, I love to dress up. But it is hard to keep a good figure to get into those clothes. I feel like a big fat monster everytime I look at myself in the mirror. I feel horrible and I know for sure I need to get into a severe diet right away~!

But here I'd like to say that White Cool, White Glam! ;D

.:: A Guy Who I Wish To Date ::.

2009-07-15T18:13:00.004+08:00

Well well well. Look who's talking about a guy again??? Yeah yeah yeah it's me! But this time around I would like to make clear of this thing. What type of guy that I'm interested to date? (Errkk!)

From my past experience, everything from I've observed, experienced, seen, heard, smiled and touched??? Wahahaha! I should cut it off! Okay, here we go.....

The most important thing, mende wajib is of course la agama! Takkan nak pilih laki yang agama entah ke mana kan? Nak gak ada cita2 pegi Mekkah sesama nanti kan dan sembahyang jadi Imam kat umah sendiri ke. Jaminan di hari akhirat juga.

I think I'd fall for some one who has basically the same background with me. You see, I'm just a kampung girl and what I've been through is that I'd feel awkward to date a big town boy who perhaps doesn't seem to understand certain Malay customs or probably can't survive living at kampung. Come on, rumah I sgt kampung okay! Depan umah kubur, belakang umah masjid. Pagi2 mesti selalu denga ayam berkokok dan bau bunga ros yang mak tanam depan umah. Adeyh , rindu umah la plak. T_T

Some girls might enjoy going for a date at very fancy places, but I tell ya what, I don't! I've experienced it, and I wasn't feel comfortable and I wonder why. Maybe deep down inside me, I'm just a plain girl who always misses her mum and dad at kampung, regardless how I look on the outside.

I like a guy who has plans for the future. Yeahhh. Let's plan together and please take me together with you and I would not let you down. Mark my words.

A guy who is family-oriented! Yup, I'd love to date this type of man! Doesn't mean we have to get married right away, but the way he is devoted towards his family sometimes touches my heart. How sweet!

Hurmm, what else? Love me even when I'm old, ugly and fat! Yup! I want undivided love and if you could love me truthfully, there is no reason for me not to do the same thing to you. It takes two to tango, baby!

During the dating session, I'd talk a lot but most of the time, I'd talk crazy stuff, lame jokes that certain guy would find it boring. Lamey O me! But it would be so much fun if the guy is a funny guy! It'd make my day!And I love to listen other people talking about story of their lives, I'd be very impressed!

Is this too much? But what can I conclude is that I'd go for a normal low profile guy instead of a guy who is always busy with his whatever stuff and tend to ignore me. I don't mind to date a kampung guy but with a high-spirited soul to go for a change gradually not drastically. And please, no culture shock. I remember one of my friends refer me as fashion shock! Haha.

I'd refer this type of man as "my knight in a shining amor". ;)

Haha. I hope it's not too much. However, it is not all up town boys are the same like the ones I've met before; jerks to be specific. I just wish my knight in a shining armor will come to the rescue at the right time and take me with him, and I'll be his forever! <3 <3 <3

.:: There is always HOPE for every SPARK ::.

2009-07-11T16:35:00.006+08:00

I've been thinking about what Madam Adzura, our Shakespeare lecturer, said to our class on the other day. She said something about doing charity which it should be part of our lives. So, I've been thinking of all the charities in the world, the most important charity should be focused on is the family first! Yes, just like the saying "charity starts at home". I know I'd do anything for my family. I'd risk my life for them! My family. My rock!

Not long before, some of my frens and I had a good and motivational time at Taman Sinar Harapan where it is a place for the slow learners, hyperactive children, down syndroms, handicaps, autism and etc. They call themselves as the special ones. There are a lot of activities that can be done. The best part was to listen to them teling us about their lives and that really touched our hearts. Some of them are orphanage and when they told us how they wished to have family just like other people brought tears to our eyes. That's why we should always be grateful each and every day to be able to be loved by our family. I miss spending time with them.

So, here it is, I'm thinking of doing some good deeds while I'm capable of doing it. Nothing to brag about it but I'd like to invite other people to do some charity as it will help us in the Here-After Life. I'd appreciate any ideas from all.

Taman Sinar Harapan; there is always HOPE for every SPARK.

::Something is not right with me::

2009-07-08T01:59:00.003+08:00

It's 2 in the morning, and this semester, I'm goin to have class at 8.30 in the morning EVERYDAY! God, bless me! I should be sleeping by now but it turns out that I could not go to sleep. My mind keeps wandering elsewhere. I don't know what is goin on with me. Sometimes, I've lost my appetite. I can't keep on the regular meal. I would eat at odd time because I would not feel hungry at the right time. And I have problems in sleeping. What else? I think I'm not as cheerful as before. I don't know what is becoming of me? At one point, I feel like a total failure which is true. Argghhhh!!!! There is a certain feeling which I despise it! All I want now is, I want my cheerfulness back! I seem to lose it. Something is definitely not right is happening to me. When will this over?
=(

.:: Jumping Jack! ::.

2009-07-03T15:55:00.009+08:00

Last nite, my frens and I went to the Mines Mall and we were hoping to watch Transformers! We rushed to the cinema as soon as we reached the place. There were no line at the counter but when we looked at the screen, Transformers showing for all rooms were FULL! I was very frustrated and was about to kick the Bummble Bee stand poster! Then, my frens were brighter enough to go to the counter first and asked for the tickets. And guess what? There were still empty seats and there there three tickets for us. I was so happy and I was about to do jumping jack in front of the counter until my frens calmed me down. I wasn't thinking straight because I was so over the moon when we finally got those tickets! Haha! Silly me. ;D

Before going into the cinema, we had our dinner first, and we entered the showing room with a high expectation!

Wahahaha! The movie was awesome! There were good blend of humors, adventure and as well touching moments which made the muvie superbly good! Good job Micheal Bay! Shia Lebouff really put a great effort on this one. I was very impressed with his acting this time. Way to go Shia! And love you. He's cute okay. Hehee.

I went home with a big smile and wondered why some people didn't enjoy watching it because I had a blast watching it! Can't wait for the third one! ;)

HoYeahhh!!!

The Most Awful Truth Ever !

2009-06-30T13:48:00.008+08:00

My dear friend, Petite showed me this picture.
She went all fired up to discover the truth. You go girl!

It's very intimidating when to think of this.

So, it this true? Ha ha!
Because if it is, I'd never fall in love again!

.:: Malaysian Traditional Food ROCKS !!! ::.

2009-06-26T00:49:00.038+08:00

Yesterday, I went to gerai kueh mueh with my big sis, Kok Ya.
It's only Rejab but there were A LOT of kueh mueh! We went rambang mata to choose which kueh to buy and we ended up buying so many types of kueh until I couldn't finish them all (ish ish nafsu nafsu!). I really wish my housemates were here, and they would know what to do. teehee...
So, right now I would like to share my interest in these kueh mueh. While I'm still at home I'd try my best to enjoy eating those kueh because it's free and of course delicious!! Owh no, fat alert! Damn!!!
Anyway, here are some pictures and let's start with kueh manis:

cream puff, my fave! terbaekk! inti kastard.
(seswai for teatime..mkn ni ngan minom tea, terbaekk!!)

lompat tikam, beshhh! kuah manisan.

Kueh cara; ada yg manis dan berlauk.

kuih putri ayu laa bkn kueh bunga tanjung...
thanx ja..hee...

lompat tikam berpulut, tuk sape2 yg suka sama
pulut...me, kureng pulut2 ni...

kueh sagu, or bronok (pggln org Gannu)

tepung pelita, rasanya lemak2.

seri muka or tok aji serban (rsnya da betol).

Akok, asal dari Klate.

Si femes Bahulu

Kueh bakar jagung..nyum!

kitorg pggl Tepung Kusu,
tak sure nama standard.

Bubur cacar! ailaikk!

Wah, so many kuehhhh! wahahaha!
Now, let's move on to the kueh tawar and lauk pauk, shall we....

Temosa; cam karipap la tapi inti sambal ikan
yg memikat hatiku! Fave neh!

Akok berlauk fave mak kite! Sayang mok! Mmmwahh!

Nasi dagang or foreign rice according to my father. haha.
Fave kakak ni. (photo from Mama Yatie)

Laksa Terengganu berkuah lemak, fave satu pemili. yeay!

Kalau bertandang ke Trg, jgn lupa try Kuah Singgang ini. Fave satu pemili juga ni.

Kt Trg ni mmg byk ikan air masin,
dan makan ikan celup tepung ini adalah salah satu cara menikmati ikan.
Mkn camtu je, tayah nasi, cicah ngan sos! Voila!
(photo from Mama Yati)

Sup tulang! Mak kite ske banget!

Last but not least, ayam masak merah.
Kegemaran ramai termasuklah ai! ;)

Walaweyhhh.... These kueh mueh really made me gemokkk but I'll be goin off tonight. I'm goin to miss my mom and my dad so much! I love them to the bone! ;(

:: Rejab is here again::

2009-06-24T14:41:00.010+08:00

Today is the first day of Rejab.
Everybody seems to start fasting and I'm very happy to join them. It is a good practice; spiritually and physically.

My 8-year-old nephew insisted to puasa today but his mother who is my biological sister, told him not to because he had test at school earlier today and he wouldn't have enough energy if he wanted to puasa still. The test was in the evening and he might have problem in attending the class. The interesting part is when my sister asked him, "Why do you insist to puasa today, while your friends at school don't even care about it..?" Then my dear nephew answered, "If abang puasa, Allah will love me more." The answer created smiles on our faces. =)

It's good to be in the circle of good people around here. Some people would hate me for some reasons but I know God wants me to be strong and I believe, everything happens for a reason.

This blessful month of Rejab is here, so let's take this opportunity to gain pahala as much as we can. Syaaban is next and Ramadhan comes afterwards. Let's make a good practice before Ramadhan so that we are more ready for the fasting month.

And again, I know that I'm no preacher, but I know it is the right thing to do.
XOXO.

"Everyday should be his day...."

2009-06-21T19:16:00.018+08:00

To Mr. Alias Mohamed,

To the man I cherish the most;

the one who are always close to my heart,

words are not enough to describe how I feel,

and today I want to come out with something from my chest
(which I rarely do).

I LOVE YOU, BAPAK.

this is his old but faithful
motorcycle

This has been an emotional journey to me.

I cried everytime I think of the future ahead;

what will happen to me without YOU.

;(

I will try my best to be a good daughter even sometimes I am not.

I should cherish every moment spending with YOU.

I might not be showing my emotions that much to YOU,

that is just me and YOU know me better.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

<3 <3 <3

From Noor Durrah Farahi Alias.

..::Somewhere over the rainbow::..

2009-06-18T01:30:00.005+08:00

courtesy of Flickr
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/haraldmieling/537181782/)

"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me, where troubles melt lemon drops, way above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me."

* * *

Rainbow is one of God's most spectacular phenomenons.

* * *

In a perfect world
Human beings would co-exist
Harmoniously, like a rainbow
A multitude of colors
each layer vibrant and clear by itself
but togetherness
boundless, breathtaking, celestial.

* * *

After every storm,
if we look hard enough
a rainbow appears.

* * *

The colors of each layer represent different happiness in our life.
And I'm still searching for the colors, searching for my own rainbow.

* * *

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/kishimi/994691714/)

::Bruises on my heart::

2009-06-13T00:37:00.005+08:00

There are bruises on my heart. The old ones are about to disappear, then there comes the new ones. I thought that I was strong enough to mend but at this very moment I doubt it. Sometimes I feel so weak. God knows best and I believe I'll find the silver lining in between one day.

I realize that in the past time, I never really gave a deep thought about everything that ever happened in my life. Now, it is the time. The time to think of what should and should not be done.
I don't want to think of love matters anymore because if he's the one for me, he will come to me and he should know how much I mean to him. This is just a generic statement.

So, here I am, trying to get all the strength in this world to get through this life. I have to do this!

Owh well, LIFE IS GREAT, isn't it?

2009-06-06T14:24:00.004+08:00

LIFE IS GREAT! That is my personal tagline in life to keep me going in this turbulent and succulent world. Whatever forms of troubles that ever occurred in my life, at the end of the day, when I look back at it, I'd say to myself, "Life is great!" I'd never feel any "livelier" then ever! I feel so grown-up! Yeah, that's how exactly I feel right now. This pimple under my lips is the proof! Ahah! Damn! It hurts so bad!

The cynical way in expressing the feeling, after all the troubles I've been through I would still say it to myself "Owh well, life is great, isn't it?" Always look on the positive angle, and you'll never regret whatever things that happened in our life. Like the Westeners always say, "There's a silver lining in between". So, bring it on, LIFE!

P/S, So far, I've been giving a lot of opinions and advices. Maybe I should change the patterns but I kind of enjoy doing it. Well, we'll see about that.

Be strong! God will always be with you!

2009-06-06T13:44:00.005+08:00

Everyone will find at a point where he or she will be at the very down situation of in other words, at a very frustrated point. There are thousands of people out there who are having the worse day of their lives and what keep us going is the faith. Have faith in yourselves.

Swearing might come in handy but it might somehow hurt people around us. We never know. We have to be strong and believe in your faith and PATIENCE is very important. And God will always be with you!

p/s, I know I'm no preacher, but I know it's the right thing to do.

XOXO~

The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

2009-06-05T02:18:00.001+08:00

"To some one who doesn't like to kiss...........

I never get the chance to say this properly....
But before that, I would like to thank for the little time we had together.....
I thought we could cope with everything and still be together...
But everything seems out of control and it's getting worse....
I don't feel any emotions towards you anymore.....
And I believe you feel the same way too towards me.....
I just want to say........
Goodbye...Goodbye to you....

From some one who doesn't like to listen........"

Time won't change anything unless...........

2009-06-02T23:43:00.001+08:00

People always say, time will always kill the pain as in time will make a change. But somehow, I believe that time won't change anything unless we do something to make it change. If we want something to change, but we do nothing, how on earth for things to change? A simple example, you just broke up, what do you do next? Move on. Yes, move on which means you have to do something to live the past behind and continue with your life. Past is past. There's no use of looking back. You have to work on it. You can't just do nothing because you might end up coming back for all the wrong reasons. Here's one thing, everyone is given a mind to be used to the max. There is no use of craving for the past. It's a big world out there. And there are tons of fish in the sea. Owh wait, this is nothing personal. eheheee~

And the same goes with other thing. You want to make a change, you have to do something. You have to work on it (I've mentioned this twice!). After all, there's nothing to lose in taking chances in life. This life is full of surprises. Life is a journey which will take us anywhere that we wish to go. Always be optimistic in everything. So, make a change. Chase your dream and follow your heart desire. Don't just sit there and do nothing. Work on your life and always move forward!

p/s, this is inspired by House M.D. and I couldn't think of any other example. ;D

My "shape of my heart" poem

2009-06-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

This poem is not the one I sent to the lecturer, the one is more fancy! ;)

<3 <3 <3

Let's talk about unconditional LOVE!

2009-06-01T03:02:00.001+08:00

What is LOVE? haha. That is something that I'm still searching for the personal definition. I put the word love in red just because roses are red and roses are always resemble LOVE. hehe. Anyway, I just want to share some thoughts of this thing which is called LOVE.

Unconditional LOVE. I would always have this dream, to own this an unconditional LOVE. Let me define, unconditional LOVE is when you love some one and there is no conditions to stop you from being there for your loved ones at the times he or she needs you the most. In this life, there are ups and downs. If your spouse is having an issue and does not show much love towards you, you should not step back but what you should do is you should come forward and comfort your spouse. And one more thing, you should always be there by your lovers side and always convince him or her that you should never lose each other. It is like an ultimate love and I long for that kind of LOVE! However, it is not impossible to achieve.

So, when will I find some one who can offer that kind of LOVE? Only God knows. ~

It's the time of the year again!

2009-06-01T02:37:00.003+08:00

Kenduri. Kenduri. Kenduri. It is almost everyday we are goin to attend kenduri. My mom doesn't have to cook these day. We just wake up in the morning, drink Milo as the starter then get dressed for the kenduri. And here is the thing, I don't really have baju kurung to wear. Well, here we go, I will always trouble in picking what to wear for a kenduri. I have to look good especially it is my friends' weedding! Yeah, that's right! My friends who some are the same age as I am. huhu. Scary to think about it. I mean to get married at this age. I am like a free spirited rabbit, jumping freely on the green field and suddenly I got caught and to be put in a 'sanctuary'. So much for the 'sanctuary'...haha. That is what I imagine myself to get married at this age. It is not that I'm not agree with the youngsters to get married at young age but, there's a but there, I don't see it well in me.

Owh well, let's not talk about marriage just yet. What is it all about again? Owh yeah, kenduri. It is the time of the year where everyone is busy to knot the ties. Some say, mating season? haha! Anyway, this also means to eat, eat and eat A LOT! The menu is nasi minyak (includes chicken, meat and some fruits) and air sirap. That is like the basic one. What I look forward for every kenduri is the taste of nasi minyak. Some would taste so good that I'd wish I could tapau them but some would taste so "i shouldn't really be here"!huhu. But I tell ya what, of course la saya ikhlas pergi majlis2 kenduri tersebut, the nasi minyak is not the main reason!

The school break just started and there are loads more of majlis kenduri to be attended. Usually, my mom would alert me the night before about the kenduri so I would get ready the next day. Anyway, I really hope to have kenduri at my own house. Not for mine, for my siblings of course! When are they ever going to get married???
What a good question!