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;P

HELLO EVERYONE!

I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE MY NEW BLOG:
CLICK HERE PLEASE

PLEASE VISIT WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME AND WOULD MUCH MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU ALL CAN JOIN IN MY NEW BLOG

MISS YOU ALL AND PLEASE DON'T STOP WRITING!

SEE YOU AT MY NEW PLACE?
:D

So in love with this man!

He came into my life like a storm.

I can't help but to fall in love really hard.

His preach is so easy and peaceful.

Falling so hard and it makes me believe I wouldn't find some one like him anywhere else..

He's none other than..


MAHER ZAIN!!!!

His face reminds of me Chris Daughtry and his voice too!

Anyhow, I just love this man.

I love all of his nasyeed songs!

I never thought I would love nasyeed songs as much as this one.

He came into my life and changed everything about me.

Just through his songs..

I become a better person.

Owh dear Maher Zain, you have no idea, what you have done!

And right now, I'm demanding for a husband like him..
Is it too much to ask?



"Thank you Allah" is the album.

Go get it guyz!!! It's worth every cent of your money!
Trust me!

My driving becomes more meaningful while listening to this album.

Owh dear Maher Zain, your wife is just SO LUCKY to have you!
:)

I'm back! :D

HAHAHA!

I just think this is very funny.
I really want to make this blogging stuff possible for me, but everytime I read some one else's blog, I feel very lowly of myself.
I mean come on, every one seems to have a lot of stuff to write and it is always interesting to read, not like mine. Seriously dude!
Anyhows, I really want to make this possible but I have to make this blog not as lame as before.
I'll try my best! Wish me luck! :D

Teman Sejati

Currently, I've been listening to nasyid songs.

It's really soothing and it gets us closer to Him.

It is when we are sick and tired of all sorts of contemporary love songs, if you know what I mean.

So, I remembered this old nasyid song, Teman Sejati by Brothers.

Click here.

This song is really something. It's about some one who is looking for a true friend as a companion for life.

True friend in this context is of course a wife or husband. I like it when it is referred as "teman yang sejati".

So, here I am, searching for a true friend to go through this sacred battle, to achieve happiness in this world and of course in Here-after.

Still searching...

"ku mencari-cari teman yang sejati buat menemani perjuangan suci..."

HELLO!

It's a been a while.....

I don't know what had possessed me lately, but I just can't concentrate on what to write for this blog. A lot of things are going on in my life, but still I didn't feel like to blog about it, it's not I have lost my interest towards writing, it is just plain laziness. HAHAHAHA.

Alright, I feel like blogging again so I guess I will try to write about anything interesting in my life right now.

At the age of 23, I can't believe I'm in the middle of the situation where I have to think about my future husband already! I mean, it's a big thing, I never thought it would happen this fast, but hey, it's happening now! I'd love to blog about it.

So, stay tuned for my next post, yaw!

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah


I MISS YOU CHEK..... ;(
we will meet again one day...

Grown-up Conversation

Just recently, I had this conversation with one of my friends. This friend of mine, she likes to share her experience with her previous boyfriends, and her current boyfriends as well. Yeah, I got that right, boyfriend with the s. Fyi, she is a mixed Sabahan. I envy her body. Beautiful front and back (well, at least I think so la). What more can a girl ask for? :P

So, she shared with me how she deals with her boyfriends (how many let's not talk about it k) and I bluntly told her "wow, how I wish I can be like you!" after hearing her stories. Errrr, to think about that again, no thank you. I like myself right now better. I just wanted to be sounded cool I guess. ppft.

Then, I innocently asked her, "what about if kantoi later in the future?"

And she said something like this, "well, first comes first, there's no such thing as happily ever after. S**t happens. Just see la what will happen later. Meanwhile, let's enjoy the ride."

The interesting part is, when she wanted to pass me some boy who want to date her but she rejected him because of some reason.

"Are you kidding me? No, thank you!" That was my answer. haha.

So, I asked again, why did she reject that guy. Then she said, "well, i'm not interested in Malay guyz. They are not loyal, not matured, treat their gf very badly and bla bla bla..."

*crickets*

Erm, okay..

So, Malay guyz are like that. And it even occurred to me that this could be the reason why I'm still single. gulp.

Whatever it is, I'm not the type of overgeneralized person. I believe she just happened to meet with the bad ones, it doesn't mean that every Malay man is like that. right right?

Owh well, it has been nice listening to her story. There were still more, but I can't share everything here. heheheh.

What Divides Us Women...

The first thing that came up to our mind (women) when we heard some guy is dating this particular girl is, "Is she covered up or not?" or in BM, "dia pakai tudung ke tak?"

Nowadays, this question becomes common among us and it actually divides us women into these groups which are covered up and of course not covered up.

So, which group are you in?

I missed out one group.There's also certain women who choose to be in between; to go covered up and not at the same time.

The thing is, we are judged by what we are wearing. Our tudung of course.

As for me, so far Alhamdulillah, I never went outside without any selendang covered my head. I pray hard on this one because I'm trying my best to stay istiqamah on covering up.

I have a lot of friends who are covered up and in fact the majority of my friends are covered up. Probably because I came from a religious school.

I hate it when people judge us by our tudung or selendang. We people who covered up are holding the image, the clean image everywhere we go. The free hair women are always referred to the not so nice attitudes.

But to tell the truth, there are no such things anymore.

The vanity is everywhere, covered up or not, we women (or human;to be in general) are always exposed to the vanity side.

I'm not a good muslimah even though I'm covered up. I'm not happy with that and always pray hard for hidayah... :(

I've been thinking of life in Here-after a lot lately.

And I'm thinking what will happen if God takes my live when I'm not ready like right now? Because to count all my ibadah right now, it makes me wanna cry so hard....

Just covering our hair is not enough! There are a lot more of things we women need to do!

Therefore, I have decided, I should read a lot on spiritually inspired books. Currently, I'm reading this book "You can be the happiest women in the world". Just about time (thank you PD!), I was looking for something good to read, rather than to read those fiction books, I'm so happy to have one of the copies right now. I just start reading on it, I'd probably put up a review on it later on in the future. InsyaAllah.

Covered up or not, let's together we try our best, pray hard, look for hidayah as much as we can. And after all, it's never too late to do the right thing now. InsyaAllah.

p/s, I never believe in "heaven can wait", it only works on narrow-minded people.

It's Okay If You Want To Get Married...

Hurmmm...

My best friend revealed to me not long ago, that some one asked her to get married. Some kind of proposed I guess.

I had a shock of my life!

I don't even know that guy, she just told me like that, it's indeed shocking!

So, I was being a total jerk. I told her all the excitements that she'd be missing if she gets married at this age.

Not to be jealous or anything, but I was simply being selfish. All I was thinking was that, "How am I going to go shopping if she really gets married right now?" or or or "I can't hang out with her anymore after this, not after she got married with I don't know who that guy is!"

I was thinking straight. I'm sorry.

I should think more on her side. She seemed puzzled as well. And I shouldn't be telling all those things that totally not helping her decision. Well, it does help but it is just not it.

From now on, I'll be more rational and supportive. To my dearest best friend, I really really really love you and if you really really really think and have already given a deep thought about my opinions about it, I think it's okay if you want to get married now. Like you said, it's a big big decision.

I don't wanna be such a jerk friend, and keep you from what you really want. Follow your heart, and most importantly, solat istikarah if you have to. hee.

Since we'll be graduating soon (well, I have another semester ahead), I don't see it as a problem anymore to think about marriage. Maybe your time has come.

As for me, I'll be fine. I'll be your fairest bridesmaid, if it going to happen this soon laa . teehee,

So, here I even have a picture of a perfect wedding outfit. I'm sure you will love it as much as I am. hee.

Credit picture to tealovecoffee. :D

I think you'll like it in green rite? hehe.


Nevertheless,

FRIENDS FOREVER! =)

First Love

Everyone will have the experience with the first love.

Some might get very lucky, end up with the first love and still going strong.

I envy you people.

At this very moment, I just realize that my first love is truly my first love.

What I mean here is, I just realize how strong my first love is. I even pat myself at the back, admiring myself for still having the same feeling for about 11 years. With the same guy.

He was my first love.

I still remember how naive I was back then but still I was able to like, admire, or love, this guy.

I thought I've already moved on, but I guess it's never easy to walk away.

I bumped into him recently, and we even met at our so-called reunion. Well, I remember I was very cool, we talked like two old friends who haven't met for a long time. Inside my heart, only God knows what!

He looked stunning like always. Well, depends on how you perceive stunning as this is full of biased! You have to understand this situation.

Erm, I guess I'm okay, nothing to feel sad about, it is all in the past now. It's time for a new chapter. Looking back once a while is okay, but don't get too carried away, it will only do us harm.

Wait, nothing to feel sad about eh? Maybe a little bit.

Well, at least we're still friends, that's important.

So, all the best to all of us. Good luck in every thing you do.

And as for me, it's time for a new love. I will keep searching and searching until I get fed up. I don't mind. Life is just cruel like that.

Words of wisdom: "You don't just stop loving someone; either you never did or always will."

Too Scared

It's been a while.

Been pretty busy.

Today, I was shocked with the news I heard from kampung.

One of my neighbours passed away late evening yesterday. Innalillah. Al- Fatihah.

This is very shocking.

And I can't accept any kind of shocking news from kampung, I will become too scared, don't feel comfortable just like right now.

;(

I'm worried about my family; parents at home. So damn scared. If anything happens to them, I don't think I can go on with my life...

I'm too scared now until I can't sleep, I can't close my eyes.

God, help me, I need more strength.

I don't like this feeling.

And I just wanna home now~

The Girlfriends

*demam*

Gosh, I thought I was one of the toughest people to get any infection easily but I guess my anti-body is not that strong anymore. I have to take some supplement or something to get me going tough again. Well, if that ever going to work la kan. haihhh.

So, I'm not feeling well. The best people to be around me right now are my good girlfriends. They are being very nice to me and I'm glad to have them around, especially when I'm sick, they are always there to cheer me up and willing to send me to the clinic. Thank you guyz! You know who you are. *wink*

And I'm thinking, so far I have so many girlfriends to compare with the boy-friends. This is pretty fun actually. And I love my girlfriends!

This probably happens because I came from all girls school. And and *coughcough*...never mind about that. hehe.

The cool thing about having girlfriends, we won't have any problems in hugging each other and especially times like this, I need as much hugs as possible. :(

I miss my family actually.....

However, I have to be strong. I admit I'm a spoil child, but right now, I'm trying my best to stand on my own. My family are far away, and I have to be independent.

This is not going to be easy. Right now, I fell sick but this is not going to stop me from doing my routine . And since I'm doing my practicum now, I think I need to be more decisive. I have to be determine to achieve something. And after all, I'm the role model for my students now. So, I need to behave.

Wait, I was talking about my girlfriends lah, see I've melencong. teehee.

Owh yeah, I don't mind to be friends with many girlfriends, but I'M STRAIGHT okay!

Owh, I'm done with my ROS report! Yeay!

But there's something upsets me at the moment...

(-_-)

An English Teacher

As I was looking at the students running during the recess time, I wonder how are the future of these students. Most of them are Chinese, and I'm here teaching these kids.

I feel very awkward at first, not to be a racist, as the one Malaysia mood is in the air.

I've never been before in the circle of other races. So, I never knew how to deal with them.

This is my first time to be in the groups where everyone is sepet. Well, it's not that there's no Malays and Indians but Chinese are the majority here.

As a teacher, we should know well about what we should do which is to educate the future generations. Without complaining, we have to because this is what we have chosen. And I think I'm in the right path.

The taxi driver once told us, how proud should we be, to become an English teacher in a Chinese school. And I have to agree with him 100%.

People might not know what we have been through everyday., the challenges we are facing in educating them.

These Chinese kids, most of them are not from very highly-educated family because if they are, they wont be there, they would probably be in more standard secondary school.

The problem with these kids is THE LANGUAGE. They are good in speaking Chinese but they are very weak in Bahasa Melayu. So imagine, we're here to teach them English?

What should we (the trainee English teachers) do?

We have tried body language where our hands and face expressions are used to the max! That's why we are very tired every time we finished our classes.

*yawns*

I guess I better hit the sack. There are still a lot of things to write here but I'm too tired now.

Owh yeh, I have to teach Pendidikan Seni tomorrow. Argh! I hate it! I mean, I hate doing something which basically I have no idea of what to do, it's not even my minor! I can't just neglect the students (that's no good), I mean I can just go inside the class and ask the students to draw whatever they want because I can't guide them with drawings, it's simply because I can't draw. How can I teach them! I'm crying silently. T_T

Owh well, I'll figure out something.

Good nite.

p/s, I love my students.

Long Way To Go!

I'm at school right now, no class for today.

So, basically, I have nothing to do and that's why I brought along my lappie today.

The cool thing is, I can facebook-ing here in the staff room! teehee! Well, it's not really a staffroom because it's more like a textbook room. We don't mind as long as we're happy. huhu.

So here we go, I'm thinking, I'm in part 7 now, and there's another semester ahead. After that we'll be graduating. InsyaAllah.

I never have a solid plan for my future but I guess I'm pretty sure that I want to become an educator as in the way to contribute to my beloved country. We owe our country so much, aren't we? So, why not do something in order to appreciate it. I love you Malaysia!

Some of my friends are busy thinking of getting married already and some even planned to get married in the near future.

There's a new teacher here told me that marrying at young age is not fun. So, she advised us not to get married at early age. And I take it as a good thing and it made me feel so much better. phew! haha.

The thing is, it's still a long way to go.

And I don't want to fall in love in this near future. It's simply because I know how it hurts and I don't want to go through it all over again.

I don't mind getting married late, if it takes for me to be happy. There's no point of having someone special (yeah right!) but I'm still suffering. Been there, done that.

Sometimes, I think I'm heartless.

But it's okay, I'll find my heart one day.

Remember, it's a long way to go!

Let's do this! Bring it on, LIFE!

This year...

Hello!

I seldom posted anything since the new year.

Been pretty busy with the practicum and stuff and of course laziness gene! haha.

Let's cut the crap. I've been doing a little "research" on handbags. The answer is only one word, it is CHANEL!

A Chanel bag is the only thing that I've be dreaming, dying to own......in my dream!

So, I bought new handbag and new clutches. And this year, I'm going to have loads of new bags and clutches since my mind can't stop thinking of having a collection of bags and clutches especially!

My parents won't be happy about this. But I always believe that these babies are really my happiness at the moment. They are my ultimate happiness, since my family are far way from me. Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not staying abroad or something.

Other than bags, I'm thinking to have new blazers. I'm thinking of the cool design where there are beads on the shoulders. I've found it but I should be patient not to just buy because I might find something cooler than that later on. Or maybe I should just buy? Find another one, just buy it too?

And I keep telling myself, "Money doesn't just grow on tree, Durrah! So spend wisely!"

Don't worry, I AM planning my financial right now, ehehe. I mean after posting this post, or maybe later on, when I'm free, when I feel bored, or maybe next week? Erk....

(-_-")

Practicum Kick-Off!

Yesterday was a history!

It was my first day at my school! First day on my teaching practicum of course!

One word to describe it, CHAOTIC!

Have I mentioned it's a Chinese school?

Well. it's like 99 % of the students are Chinese and they speak Mandarin most of the time! There are some peralihan classes where they can't speak Malay or English and imagine how would I handle those classes???

T_T

Owh well, I take it as a challenge and I love challenges! Bring it on! xD

For this week, we were given a 22-period schedule replacing some teachers. Just for this week though but I can foresee it's going to be a long hell-like week!

Anyhow, it's going to be fun I guess, give some space for optimism, will ya???

Owh yeah, the four of us (Emmie, Has, Gee and me) are given the evening session. Not so cool, because we were informed that the students in the evening (which consists of Form 1 and 2 students) are very very very active! So, good luck to the four of us!

We were told that we will given 5-period classes for English and the other five periods for other subjects such as Pendidikan Jasmani, Pendidikan Seni, Pendidikan Moral, and etc etc. (Please take note on the Pendidikan Seni).

So, we were so excited about it? Pendidikan Jasmani??? Hahaha! Interesting! Pendidikan Moral, okay laa. Pendidikan Seni??? hahahaha! God Bless me!

Here is a picture of my first day inside of the classroom teaching the form 1 and 2 students. Note that, I drew the picture myself.

erm, it was just a relief class, i know...

it was out of control!

By looking at my drawing above, am I eligible enough to teach Art lesson???

(-_-")

Girl Power 101: Forget the jerk!

So, here is the case.

My friend told me something has been bothering her mind.

So, slowly I asked her, what's her problem, and she gathered her strength and finally she spoke out.

She said, there's a guy from her past came back into her life and apparently she realized that guy has only came back for all the bad reasons. What happened in the past was real.

She added, that guy has a girlfriend and they are having problems. She thought she was there to help him, to make things clear. She obviously has got into trouble by helping that guy.

Apparently, it wasn't kind of regular help, no need to go details into that.

And I asked her, "why did you go to him at first place? You know he's up to no good. And I know you wanted to change and leave the past behind? What happened?"

She said she was out of her mind that time, she got frustrated with other guy (guy B), and the guy from the past (guy A) came right in time and she went to the guy without thinking rationally. She must be very upset about the guy B.

I asked her how's everything now? And she said that guy A is happy with his girlfriend now, and ignores her.

The problem here, she felt used, and the feeling of anger, hatred mixing up altogether.

My, that's really bad because it's never good to have so much anger and hatred in our soul.

So, I told her, just let go. That guy is obviously useless for her. Nothing but a burden to slow her down.

Build a forgiving heart (just like my post earlier *ahem*) and give herself some space to move on, and never look back.

From my own experience, a guy can be very deceiving through his looks and his words especially! Don't get deceived. Make sure nice means nice.

Girls, we can't be pushed down anymore, stand up on our own, don't count much on men. Well, we still have to count on men after all. Think of our father or our siblings.

Remember, doesn't mean if you get frustrated with one guy, it applies to others men too. Give some space for rationality.

I told my friend, there are so many men out there, I'm sure you'll find a fine one for her.

About the jerk, just pray for his best in life and leave everything to God. There's no need for revenge or anything, let the time decides everything.

I emphasized that she should never contact him after this, and since that guy is ignoring her, this will make things easier. Just remember not to have any pity towards him anymore after this.

She seemed fine after I explained to her. And she feels so much better now.

Till next time,
XOXO~

Heaven Ain't Cheap

I was reading one of my fave blogs, it was about her intention to cover her head and she's facing a dilemma in committing her intention.

My opinions here would be a little too strong for certain people, but it is really bothering me not to voice it out. Sorry.

Why do I cover my head at first place?

I remember my first time covering my head was after I've reached puberty and I felt that I have no choice because I believe God is always there for us, watching us. I believe it is sinful not to cover our head.

In the present time, I'm still wearing hijab (However, my hijab has gotten shorter as time goes by, ;D) and I'm not planning to take it off any time in the future. InsyaAllah.

When talking about covering our head, it is related to the activities that we do daily. Which means here, what we wear influences what we do.

I know wearing hijab can be very deceiving which these people might have more serious social problems, but think of this way, those people at least they have escaped from the sins of showing their hairs to others. What say you about this?

I'm so sick of people mocking upon this matter. And for the worse, using this matter as the excuse for not covering up. Each piece of hair is counted here. What do you say about this?

I have seen a lot people who have changed from wearing hijab to uncover their heads and become more daring than anyone else. I bet there's something inside them from long time, that has been begging to be unlocked. And once "the inside" has been unlocked, it went out of control. And the only key to unlock "the inside" is by uncovering their head.

I'm saying this because once they "unlock the inside", they can dress up and act wildly, they are the next good girls gone bad which is something that they are proud of apparently.

For those who are considering to cover up, please don't look upon those people who has unlocked the inside. Look upon the good things of covering up, your sincere intention. And the only intention which is acceptable is because of Him.

God has given us lives and beauty (the girls), so we need to show some appreciation towards Him.

Covering up is not option, it's our obligation as women. No matter how hard it is, consider it as a sacrifice towards Him.

This is what I've been holding onto for all this while. Or else, I would have gone bad too! I love to dress up and become wild but I put everything aside because I know I'm not that weak and I won't give this kind of vanity a chance.

There are a lot of matters that I'm facing as I'd stumble a lot of times and I regret each time and still struggling right now.

I really want to become a good Muslim and bring the name to world for others to admire.

I want to become a better Muslim each and every day. I really do. I'm talking here now as a very weak human being as I always got carried away with this modern life. However, this can't be the reason because everything starts with ourselves, bad things won't happen if we didn't start it.

I'm sorry if this sounds too provocative and please don't get me wrong as if I sound like I'm saying that I'm good because I'm wearing hijab. I'm not, I'm far away from good, and this is something that is bothering my mind when it comes to covering up, and I would like to share it with others. A little too harsh I know, but truth will always hurt. That's life, isn't it?

What I've learned back at school in my PAI subject was that, we should have always the feeling of fear towards God, because that's the only way for us to avoid doing the bad things. And I'm trying my best to hold tightly to it and I admit IT IS NOT EASY.

However, for those who are considering to cover up, consider this line, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

These intentions alone are not enough. Work towards it and always doa because that's our powerful weapon. InsyaAllah.

For some people, they are fine with doing other good deeds accept for covering their heads, and would put so many considerations to cover up.

Well, we'll never know when will God take our lives. I hope that helps.

And we all have to remember, heaven ain't cheap.

Well, if only you're planning to go there one day. Like me.

May Allah bless all of us. Amin.

Thank You Very Much! ^_^

Thank you TeaLoveCoffee for these awards!
Really appreciate it!
^_^

Love Matters & Go Girl Power!

Looks like I'll be staying single for a long time this time.

I know what I'm saying and I mean it. But who knows what's next for me?

Some people has been asking me the predictable questions, wondering why am I still single?

There are a lot of reasons why, but I don't want to mention here. Well, at least not now.

However, I'm surrounded with the people who are always having the problems in their relationships, and somehow the problems are really interesting!

So, I'm thinking of sharing their love matters here. Don't worry I won't tell who they are, I'll tell in general.

And I also found out that girls need to have the power to say 'NO' when the situation requires it to be. Self-assertiveness is very important here. Perhaps, I'll come out with some ideas on how to deal with it later on.

I know I'm not a good lover or else why would I be single by now, but in the way, I've learnt something. Something very valuable that some might not have experienced it before.

So, I think this will be a great opportunity to share the story with others. It will somehow help others directly or maybe indirectly.

There are some stories from others that I happened to bump into and it has become part of me. Owh, I'm so excited about this.

For the next post, I'll talk about this interesting matter, love matter of course from a friend. Poor her, she has nobody to go then she chose to talk to me.

My arms are always wide-open to all those dilemmas, feel free to drop by and share with me. I feel quite "busybody" about this matter right now. haha.

But, I'm only human, I might can just review by being a good listener because I might be out of ideas to help. And after all, I'm not a love expert, I'm just trying to help whatever I can.

That's it for now.

"SELAMAT MENYAMBUT 10 MUHARRAM (WHICH MEANS IT'S ASSYURA DAY!) DAN MARILAH KITA BERPUASA PADA ESOK HARI. THE REWARD IS LIKE PERFORMING HAJJ AND UMRAH AND DYING WITH SYAHID" =)