The Girlfriends

*demam*

Gosh, I thought I was one of the toughest people to get any infection easily but I guess my anti-body is not that strong anymore. I have to take some supplement or something to get me going tough again. Well, if that ever going to work la kan. haihhh.

So, I'm not feeling well. The best people to be around me right now are my good girlfriends. They are being very nice to me and I'm glad to have them around, especially when I'm sick, they are always there to cheer me up and willing to send me to the clinic. Thank you guyz! You know who you are. *wink*

And I'm thinking, so far I have so many girlfriends to compare with the boy-friends. This is pretty fun actually. And I love my girlfriends!

This probably happens because I came from all girls school. And and *coughcough*...never mind about that. hehe.

The cool thing about having girlfriends, we won't have any problems in hugging each other and especially times like this, I need as much hugs as possible. :(

I miss my family actually.....

However, I have to be strong. I admit I'm a spoil child, but right now, I'm trying my best to stand on my own. My family are far away, and I have to be independent.

This is not going to be easy. Right now, I fell sick but this is not going to stop me from doing my routine . And since I'm doing my practicum now, I think I need to be more decisive. I have to be determine to achieve something. And after all, I'm the role model for my students now. So, I need to behave.

Wait, I was talking about my girlfriends lah, see I've melencong. teehee.

Owh yeah, I don't mind to be friends with many girlfriends, but I'M STRAIGHT okay!

Owh, I'm done with my ROS report! Yeay!

But there's something upsets me at the moment...

(-_-)

An English Teacher

As I was looking at the students running during the recess time, I wonder how are the future of these students. Most of them are Chinese, and I'm here teaching these kids.

I feel very awkward at first, not to be a racist, as the one Malaysia mood is in the air.

I've never been before in the circle of other races. So, I never knew how to deal with them.

This is my first time to be in the groups where everyone is sepet. Well, it's not that there's no Malays and Indians but Chinese are the majority here.

As a teacher, we should know well about what we should do which is to educate the future generations. Without complaining, we have to because this is what we have chosen. And I think I'm in the right path.

The taxi driver once told us, how proud should we be, to become an English teacher in a Chinese school. And I have to agree with him 100%.

People might not know what we have been through everyday., the challenges we are facing in educating them.

These Chinese kids, most of them are not from very highly-educated family because if they are, they wont be there, they would probably be in more standard secondary school.

The problem with these kids is THE LANGUAGE. They are good in speaking Chinese but they are very weak in Bahasa Melayu. So imagine, we're here to teach them English?

What should we (the trainee English teachers) do?

We have tried body language where our hands and face expressions are used to the max! That's why we are very tired every time we finished our classes.

*yawns*

I guess I better hit the sack. There are still a lot of things to write here but I'm too tired now.

Owh yeh, I have to teach Pendidikan Seni tomorrow. Argh! I hate it! I mean, I hate doing something which basically I have no idea of what to do, it's not even my minor! I can't just neglect the students (that's no good), I mean I can just go inside the class and ask the students to draw whatever they want because I can't guide them with drawings, it's simply because I can't draw. How can I teach them! I'm crying silently. T_T

Owh well, I'll figure out something.

Good nite.

p/s, I love my students.

Long Way To Go!

I'm at school right now, no class for today.

So, basically, I have nothing to do and that's why I brought along my lappie today.

The cool thing is, I can facebook-ing here in the staff room! teehee! Well, it's not really a staffroom because it's more like a textbook room. We don't mind as long as we're happy. huhu.

So here we go, I'm thinking, I'm in part 7 now, and there's another semester ahead. After that we'll be graduating. InsyaAllah.

I never have a solid plan for my future but I guess I'm pretty sure that I want to become an educator as in the way to contribute to my beloved country. We owe our country so much, aren't we? So, why not do something in order to appreciate it. I love you Malaysia!

Some of my friends are busy thinking of getting married already and some even planned to get married in the near future.

There's a new teacher here told me that marrying at young age is not fun. So, she advised us not to get married at early age. And I take it as a good thing and it made me feel so much better. phew! haha.

The thing is, it's still a long way to go.

And I don't want to fall in love in this near future. It's simply because I know how it hurts and I don't want to go through it all over again.

I don't mind getting married late, if it takes for me to be happy. There's no point of having someone special (yeah right!) but I'm still suffering. Been there, done that.

Sometimes, I think I'm heartless.

But it's okay, I'll find my heart one day.

Remember, it's a long way to go!

Let's do this! Bring it on, LIFE!

This year...

Hello!

I seldom posted anything since the new year.

Been pretty busy with the practicum and stuff and of course laziness gene! haha.

Let's cut the crap. I've been doing a little "research" on handbags. The answer is only one word, it is CHANEL!

A Chanel bag is the only thing that I've be dreaming, dying to own......in my dream!

So, I bought new handbag and new clutches. And this year, I'm going to have loads of new bags and clutches since my mind can't stop thinking of having a collection of bags and clutches especially!

My parents won't be happy about this. But I always believe that these babies are really my happiness at the moment. They are my ultimate happiness, since my family are far way from me. Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not staying abroad or something.

Other than bags, I'm thinking to have new blazers. I'm thinking of the cool design where there are beads on the shoulders. I've found it but I should be patient not to just buy because I might find something cooler than that later on. Or maybe I should just buy? Find another one, just buy it too?

And I keep telling myself, "Money doesn't just grow on tree, Durrah! So spend wisely!"

Don't worry, I AM planning my financial right now, ehehe. I mean after posting this post, or maybe later on, when I'm free, when I feel bored, or maybe next week? Erk....

(-_-")

Practicum Kick-Off!

Yesterday was a history!

It was my first day at my school! First day on my teaching practicum of course!

One word to describe it, CHAOTIC!

Have I mentioned it's a Chinese school?

Well. it's like 99 % of the students are Chinese and they speak Mandarin most of the time! There are some peralihan classes where they can't speak Malay or English and imagine how would I handle those classes???

T_T

Owh well, I take it as a challenge and I love challenges! Bring it on! xD

For this week, we were given a 22-period schedule replacing some teachers. Just for this week though but I can foresee it's going to be a long hell-like week!

Anyhow, it's going to be fun I guess, give some space for optimism, will ya???

Owh yeah, the four of us (Emmie, Has, Gee and me) are given the evening session. Not so cool, because we were informed that the students in the evening (which consists of Form 1 and 2 students) are very very very active! So, good luck to the four of us!

We were told that we will given 5-period classes for English and the other five periods for other subjects such as Pendidikan Jasmani, Pendidikan Seni, Pendidikan Moral, and etc etc. (Please take note on the Pendidikan Seni).

So, we were so excited about it? Pendidikan Jasmani??? Hahaha! Interesting! Pendidikan Moral, okay laa. Pendidikan Seni??? hahahaha! God Bless me!

Here is a picture of my first day inside of the classroom teaching the form 1 and 2 students. Note that, I drew the picture myself.

erm, it was just a relief class, i know...

it was out of control!

By looking at my drawing above, am I eligible enough to teach Art lesson???

(-_-")

Girl Power 101: Forget the jerk!

So, here is the case.

My friend told me something has been bothering her mind.

So, slowly I asked her, what's her problem, and she gathered her strength and finally she spoke out.

She said, there's a guy from her past came back into her life and apparently she realized that guy has only came back for all the bad reasons. What happened in the past was real.

She added, that guy has a girlfriend and they are having problems. She thought she was there to help him, to make things clear. She obviously has got into trouble by helping that guy.

Apparently, it wasn't kind of regular help, no need to go details into that.

And I asked her, "why did you go to him at first place? You know he's up to no good. And I know you wanted to change and leave the past behind? What happened?"

She said she was out of her mind that time, she got frustrated with other guy (guy B), and the guy from the past (guy A) came right in time and she went to the guy without thinking rationally. She must be very upset about the guy B.

I asked her how's everything now? And she said that guy A is happy with his girlfriend now, and ignores her.

The problem here, she felt used, and the feeling of anger, hatred mixing up altogether.

My, that's really bad because it's never good to have so much anger and hatred in our soul.

So, I told her, just let go. That guy is obviously useless for her. Nothing but a burden to slow her down.

Build a forgiving heart (just like my post earlier *ahem*) and give herself some space to move on, and never look back.

From my own experience, a guy can be very deceiving through his looks and his words especially! Don't get deceived. Make sure nice means nice.

Girls, we can't be pushed down anymore, stand up on our own, don't count much on men. Well, we still have to count on men after all. Think of our father or our siblings.

Remember, doesn't mean if you get frustrated with one guy, it applies to others men too. Give some space for rationality.

I told my friend, there are so many men out there, I'm sure you'll find a fine one for her.

About the jerk, just pray for his best in life and leave everything to God. There's no need for revenge or anything, let the time decides everything.

I emphasized that she should never contact him after this, and since that guy is ignoring her, this will make things easier. Just remember not to have any pity towards him anymore after this.

She seemed fine after I explained to her. And she feels so much better now.

Till next time,
XOXO~

Heaven Ain't Cheap

I was reading one of my fave blogs, it was about her intention to cover her head and she's facing a dilemma in committing her intention.

My opinions here would be a little too strong for certain people, but it is really bothering me not to voice it out. Sorry.

Why do I cover my head at first place?

I remember my first time covering my head was after I've reached puberty and I felt that I have no choice because I believe God is always there for us, watching us. I believe it is sinful not to cover our head.

In the present time, I'm still wearing hijab (However, my hijab has gotten shorter as time goes by, ;D) and I'm not planning to take it off any time in the future. InsyaAllah.

When talking about covering our head, it is related to the activities that we do daily. Which means here, what we wear influences what we do.

I know wearing hijab can be very deceiving which these people might have more serious social problems, but think of this way, those people at least they have escaped from the sins of showing their hairs to others. What say you about this?

I'm so sick of people mocking upon this matter. And for the worse, using this matter as the excuse for not covering up. Each piece of hair is counted here. What do you say about this?

I have seen a lot people who have changed from wearing hijab to uncover their heads and become more daring than anyone else. I bet there's something inside them from long time, that has been begging to be unlocked. And once "the inside" has been unlocked, it went out of control. And the only key to unlock "the inside" is by uncovering their head.

I'm saying this because once they "unlock the inside", they can dress up and act wildly, they are the next good girls gone bad which is something that they are proud of apparently.

For those who are considering to cover up, please don't look upon those people who has unlocked the inside. Look upon the good things of covering up, your sincere intention. And the only intention which is acceptable is because of Him.

God has given us lives and beauty (the girls), so we need to show some appreciation towards Him.

Covering up is not option, it's our obligation as women. No matter how hard it is, consider it as a sacrifice towards Him.

This is what I've been holding onto for all this while. Or else, I would have gone bad too! I love to dress up and become wild but I put everything aside because I know I'm not that weak and I won't give this kind of vanity a chance.

There are a lot of matters that I'm facing as I'd stumble a lot of times and I regret each time and still struggling right now.

I really want to become a good Muslim and bring the name to world for others to admire.

I want to become a better Muslim each and every day. I really do. I'm talking here now as a very weak human being as I always got carried away with this modern life. However, this can't be the reason because everything starts with ourselves, bad things won't happen if we didn't start it.

I'm sorry if this sounds too provocative and please don't get me wrong as if I sound like I'm saying that I'm good because I'm wearing hijab. I'm not, I'm far away from good, and this is something that is bothering my mind when it comes to covering up, and I would like to share it with others. A little too harsh I know, but truth will always hurt. That's life, isn't it?

What I've learned back at school in my PAI subject was that, we should have always the feeling of fear towards God, because that's the only way for us to avoid doing the bad things. And I'm trying my best to hold tightly to it and I admit IT IS NOT EASY.

However, for those who are considering to cover up, consider this line, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

These intentions alone are not enough. Work towards it and always doa because that's our powerful weapon. InsyaAllah.

For some people, they are fine with doing other good deeds accept for covering their heads, and would put so many considerations to cover up.

Well, we'll never know when will God take our lives. I hope that helps.

And we all have to remember, heaven ain't cheap.

Well, if only you're planning to go there one day. Like me.

May Allah bless all of us. Amin.