>> J, is that you? <<

I've known this guy since I was very young. He's just a normal human being just like me. In my own eyes, I saw something in him, something special. But it happened in the past and I tried to deny everything, my feelings towards him but now I realize I can't lie to myself. I do still care about him. I know he's a jerk before, but now what I can see, he has changed. Totally changed! What hurts me the most is the fact that he has girlfriend and I think he decided to settle down. They are pretty happy now, I can see that. Until now, I'd still hold to his remarkable statement where I should find some one better than him. Well, guess this is what I'm doing right now. I'm in the search for the right one. Sometimes, I'd find it very depressing for the fact that I keep bumping to the wrong guy, and he ends up with the right one. This is not fair.

Today is his birthday and I'm sure his having a blast right now. And I'm very sure that he will receive more than just cupcakes this time. I know his girlfriend will take a good care of that. He's happy and I should be happy too. I'm still his friend and still friend with his mother. Gosh, I miss her. It's pretty amazing how easy I impressed his mom. Or maybe I'm a type of daughter-in-law material. Haha.

Owh well, this feeling should go away. I'm okay now. Positive! But I'm sure I'd feel less J (don't want to admit it) if I find my own knight. I know he's somewhere out there, still searching just like me. A path of true love is never easy. And I know if I keep on the right track, I'd be always delightful and I am very grateful to be in the circle of good people.

Till next time...
XOXO~