Friday, November 27, 2009


This is it.

It's the end of all the heart aching, breaking into pieces....

and finally.......


But I'm sure if it's in the real world, it will be more than that?

I mean is it really happily ever after ending, after all?

Let's not talk about it right? There's no use to argue anyway, if it's the fate.

While watching, tears rolling down on our cheeks, sob sob sob.

I like this line, "Tuhan takkan menduga kita sesuatu yang diluar kudrat kita." Something like that laa. But it really means so deep. So true.

I'm going to miss watching this series. Missing already! Luckily, there are online sources. Thanx TV3! Really made my day!

So, so long Nur Kasih! And hello Alif Firdaus? I bet that one can't beat Nur Amina! Huu.

p/s, I heard there will be the sequel of Nur Kasih? If it is, it would be so cool! ;)

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Okay, here are a few questions.
To test your loneliness level and how lonely you really are.

So, here we go.

1) Are you feeling lonely right now?
(a) No
(b) Not sure
(c) Yes

2) If yes (If no, don't need to proceed laa okay!), is it because you're single?
(a) No lah. Cis.
(b) Yes. Cis.
(c) Cis!

3) Hey, come on! Don't you have any siblings to argue with?
(a) No.
(b) Yes.
(c) Yes, but they don't care about me.

4) Any friends to mess around?
(a) They all have their lives, no time to listen to me.
(b) My friends are many but everyone seems busy. This is similar to (a) above laa.
(c) All above. LOL!

5) Wait a minute, what about your parents???
(a) They are too tired to argue with me.
(b) Sometimes, there are things we can't share with them.
(c) All above.

6)Why laa?
(a) I don't know.
(b) Maybe I should be more independent.
(c) All above

Alright, let's check.
If your answers are all C, it means that YOU ARE LONELY!


Yesterday, I hung around the wiser people. (The word wiser should give you the idea of the people or else think of your parents and grandparents.)

We were doing the preparation for the wedding ceremony this coming Sunday.
It was so much fun to be hanging around with those people. Like I said, they are the wiser people. So, when we talked, we talked about their lives, their families, their kids, gossiping (duh, women!), everything which made me wonder how's my life in the future would be?

It's pretty amazing when I could join in the gang. Adding up some humors (which I was afraid at first, wouldn't be accepted?) But, I was lucky maybe? Or it is just my nature? I am easily accepted by the wiser community. Haha. Whatever.

So, today I'll be joining them again. I'd feel so grown up to be accepted among them. (G, I feel so old? But wiser! Tee hee.)

Hopefully, I'd gain something today. And of course a lot energy needed today. Since I'm among the not-so-wiser people, the energy is much needed.

I'll leave you with the picture of my niece and nephew on the wedding pelamin. They were excited and Iman Qistina has this dream of marrying Dafi AF one day. LOL. (spot the little girl in red).


Wednesday, November 25, 2009


NO MORE depressing post after this.

This is the brand new me!

Let's stay positive and always keep THE BIG SMILE on our face!

*the sweetest smile*

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Here's the thing.

I've been thinking,
what exactly is going on with me?

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking, think, think, and think,
and finally!

The answer is...
I'm a stubborn girl! Very stubborn in fact!

Very stubborn and PLUS kuat merajuk! What a complete combination!

I'm stubborn that sometimes I just don't want to listen to people around me, even my parents!
I have this stupid ego which I grew up with. And I can't get rid of it. It's part of me now and I can't imagine my life without my ego!? Pfft!

My current mood of my ego is "I'm fine, I don't anyone but myself to comfort me."

So, I guess that is why I'm better off on my own, cause that is what my ego is telling me to and I agree with it.

Then, the next point is, I am kuat merajuk which is quite a synonym with myself. Ask my friends, I'm sure they have a lot to say about that. Haha. Sorry babes, I really can't help it. Ehe.

Blame the stupid ego.

And I'm thinking again, maybe that is why I'm still on my own. I'm argumentative, I like to argue. This is definitely not a good gene for a girlfriend. Well, maybe.

Well, since it is a nasi minyak season, it occurs to me to think about my future spouse (whoever he would be).

To find some one who will accept me for who I am is never easy. I need to be with some one who I feel comfortable to be under my own skin. I don't need to pretend to become some one else. My ego would come in between but so far, I still control it. I mean still remember some one told me, "Remember, don't let your ego clouds your mind." And I found it very true.

I talk loud (maybe it's typical people from the East Coast?), I laugh loud too (especially with my crazy course-mates), I argue a lot lately, well, what else? I'm not like every other girl, I am me. If some guy like to be with a lemah lembut girl, I definitely fail to be the candidate. I somehow envy those girls. Haiya!Add Image

However, I never ask for Mr. Perfect as I'm not perfect myself. I just want to become a better person. Togetherness, we make it through this life, work on our imperfections, work on our weaknesses and together we become better people. That is exactly what my dream is.

So, I guess, I should just stay as who I am, right? My knight must be somewhere out there, still searching for true love (if it ever exists laa) just like me. Don't lose faith ya? I'll be waiting for ya!

Gosh, this is so pathetic! T_T

Anyway, I should stop now before I'm going nonsense.
Till next time, toodles! :D

Love me sincerely for who I am,
and I'll have no reason to deny it~

Monday, November 23, 2009


What happened between you and me in the past,
It's never easy to forget.

Maybe you have forgotten,
You left me bleeding before,
I can tell you, it hurt so bad!

It's never easy to forget everything about you,
Never been easier,
And yet I managed to forget about you,
By hating you so much,
Until the feeling became neutral,
I didn't feel either hate or like you anymore.

You have no idea what I've been through,
My heart had damaged since the day,
and slowly I healed it,
and slowly I gained some happiness,
through true friendship.

It's never easy until now,
It's bleeding again,
Imagine how I feel about you right now?

Sunday, November 22, 2009


“Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.”

Saturday, November 21, 2009


One of my friends once told me,

"If you want to forget someone, you have to hate that person very much."

Friday, November 20, 2009


Here's the problem,

During the group discussion for the macroteaching, I found it very hard to converse in English among the group members. This is like the first time we were assigned in the groups where we couldn't get to choose the group members (well, if we were among our closed friends, we would be conversing in Malay of course! xD). I admit, I was very uncomfortable at first but after a while, I found it very interesting and inspiring to work with the people outside of the circle. It's like something I would do it long time ago but didn't get the chance, and there's a factor of don't-want-to-offend-our-friends, if we didn't join them in the group discussion. Or maybe it is just me who think too much? Pffft!

Okay okay, my point here is that, I couldn't converse well in English. I would mix up everything, mumble here and there, and use the wrong pronunciation usually! Hahaha! That is why "practice makes perfect" is well known! My speaking skill is kind of rusty now and I need to converse in English as much as possible!

However, there are times where I could speak in English very fluently, in fast pace, it is just so weird laa dey....

But don't worry, next semester, I'll make sure all of my students to speak English during my periods and I'll encourage them to speak in English even outside of the classrooms. Sounds like a very tough job, but I what I can do is, never stop, to never give up, and never surrender! I'll do my best! InsyaAllah. ^^

So, let's converse in English, people! So that other people won't look down at us easily. =)

Thursday, November 19, 2009


"I'm a proud future teacher!" Yes, that's right! I am!

Next year, I'll be starting to do my practicum in any school around Shah Alam, Klang, or Damansara. Cross my finger, I hope I will be sent to an okay school. Haha.
However, I don't mind which school actually, because what really matters is within me. I have to be prepared mentally and physically to face any kind of student inside of the classrooms.
So, here I am, working on my lesson plan for my macro teaching, just another practice before going into the real world which is the school! Yeah! I'm so looking forward even though I'd pee in my underwear when to think of the types of problematic students. LOL!

Okay okay, I'm cool now and hopefully I'll keep my cool till the end.

Teaching is a sacred profession. I can't wait to serve my beloved country by helping those poor students to be advanced so that they won't be left out in this ever changing world. I can't change the whole world but the least I can do is to do the best in what I'm doing right now. And let's contribute something to our country, shall we?

Political situation in our country is pretty messed up right now. But don't lose faith, just yet.
Give it another chance, and let's see how it goes. We can't change certain people with their obsessive perspectives, but as the future teachers, we can make a different. I'm not talking about "hey, don't vote that party, vote this one!" NO, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEAN. My point here is that let's create a future generation where they can think rationally. If something is wrong; obviously wrong, so it is wrong. Have the guts to voice it out and let's do the right thing right! Don't blindly support something which is obviously wrong in any manner. To be able to know the right thing, that is why the knowledge and education are VERY IMPORTANT.

Therefore, I am very proud with my path right now. Proud future teacher eyy? Ehe. :D

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


First of all, I would like to say this. My life is pathetic! Ho yeah!

Well, about the plan of getting an adopted child one day is no kidding actually.
A lot of consideration need to be put. And I have to be really prepared mentally and physically.
When I become a mommy, I 'll have limitation in everything..kot? But the most obvious one is of course I'll have to limit my time hanging out with friends, which I find it very hard to do it. BUT, the same thing will happen to them (my friends) when they have their own families. So, I guess when everyone is busy with their partners, I'll be occupying myself with the motherhood life. A single mom sounds so cool rite? (Note: this will sound very pathetic, so please help yourself, you can laugh if you want to.)

People has been telling me all the stuff like "Come on, Durrah. There are so many guyz out there for you. You'll find someone, one day." and there's this friend of mine who sort like accused me for going against the nature or sunnah Nabi S.A.W. She must get me wrong. It is not that I don't wanna get married, I really want to and have my own babies. I put everything to His hands. The adoption is just a back up plan mana la tahu if I kawen lambat ke, well at least I already have a baby to accompany me when I'm lonely, right?

Owh well, everything is a mess so far. With the interruption of the guy who's supposed to be gone long time ago, it makes a complete mess. I only wish to tell him one thing which is "Hey, if you really wanna do this, come on and do it right okay!"(regardless whatever I said if you really want to do it). But he seems happy without me, so WTFish I'm still thinking of him right?

So, what I'm doing right now is moving on with my life and stick to the plan no matter how pathetic it is. Let's move forward and never look back! YEAH!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Hey you,
I let you go, even it seemed so hard,
so don't come back,
just don't come back, don't ever come back.

Hey you,
the reason is simple,
we are not meant to be together,
I'd only bring the bad news,
it's like a disease.

Hey you,
I believe you'll find the kind of happiness in your life,
maybe it is already in front of your eyes, and you're holding it,
so open your eyes and don't let go of it,
don't ever let it go, 'cause I know how it hurts.

Hey you,
I know it is not love, you don't even love me,
And I know you're good at it,
and good at messing with my mind.

Hey you........goodbye~


Saturday, November 14, 2009


Well, seems like I'll be using my weekends by working. How boring it is, but it's good to get busy when there are lot of stuffs are messing with your mind. So, I'll be working my best and hopefully things won't get hard on me. A newbie meh. Huhu.

And I'm still thinking of adopting a baby in the future. Therefore, this will be a good practice for me to gain so much money as possible. Chaiyok Durrah Farahi! I can do this! Let see how it goes.

p/s, this is so pathetic okay!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Cintaku tak sempurna;
tidak penah sempurna.

Mengapa pergi meninggalkanku
di saatku memerlukanmu?

Aku pasti ini cinta,
dan cinta ini hanyalah untukmu.

Friday, November 6, 2009

MY LIFE PLAN (part 1)

I've been emotionally down lately, but I' getting better now. Ho yeah! I was thinking about my life plan a lot lately. So, here it is:

I need to get a job with lucrative profits, then I'll work super hard and until I'm financially stabled, I wanna adopt a child or two. Then, we'll live happily ever after. InsyaAllah. Life should not be complicated.

Don't get me wrong when I say I wanna adopt a child. I wanna get married, and have my own children, I really want to. But to think of the process, going through a relationship with a guy is very complicated. Sometimes, I think I will never find the right one for me. Pathetic! Saya lebih rela single je memanjang kalau jumpa2 dengan lelaki tak guna je, bukan cinta! Saya mahukan cinta sebenar. True love! Haihhh!

Anyhow, saya berserah pada Ilahi. He knows what's best for me. About the plan above, I'll try my best to adopt a child one day. At least, bila semua orang da busy ngan rumah tangga masing2, I'll have my little angel on my own. Huhu.