Monday, December 28, 2009

Girl Power 101: Forget the jerk!

So, here is the case.

My friend told me something has been bothering her mind.

So, slowly I asked her, what's her problem, and she gathered her strength and finally she spoke out.

She said, there's a guy from her past came back into her life and apparently she realized that guy has only came back for all the bad reasons. What happened in the past was real.

She added, that guy has a girlfriend and they are having problems. She thought she was there to help him, to make things clear. She obviously has got into trouble by helping that guy.

Apparently, it wasn't kind of regular help, no need to go details into that.

And I asked her, "why did you go to him at first place? You know he's up to no good. And I know you wanted to change and leave the past behind? What happened?"

She said she was out of her mind that time, she got frustrated with other guy (guy B), and the guy from the past (guy A) came right in time and she went to the guy without thinking rationally. She must be very upset about the guy B.

I asked her how's everything now? And she said that guy A is happy with his girlfriend now, and ignores her.

The problem here, she felt used, and the feeling of anger, hatred mixing up altogether.

My, that's really bad because it's never good to have so much anger and hatred in our soul.

So, I told her, just let go. That guy is obviously useless for her. Nothing but a burden to slow her down.

Build a forgiving heart (just like my post earlier *ahem*) and give herself some space to move on, and never look back.

From my own experience, a guy can be very deceiving through his looks and his words especially! Don't get deceived. Make sure nice means nice.

Girls, we can't be pushed down anymore, stand up on our own, don't count much on men. Well, we still have to count on men after all. Think of our father or our siblings.

Remember, doesn't mean if you get frustrated with one guy, it applies to others men too. Give some space for rationality.

I told my friend, there are so many men out there, I'm sure you'll find a fine one for her.

About the jerk, just pray for his best in life and leave everything to God. There's no need for revenge or anything, let the time decides everything.

I emphasized that she should never contact him after this, and since that guy is ignoring her, this will make things easier. Just remember not to have any pity towards him anymore after this.

She seemed fine after I explained to her. And she feels so much better now.

Till next time,

Heaven Ain't Cheap

I was reading one of my fave blogs, it was about her intention to cover her head and she's facing a dilemma in committing her intention.

My opinions here would be a little too strong for certain people, but it is really bothering me not to voice it out. Sorry.

Why do I cover my head at first place?

I remember my first time covering my head was after I've reached puberty and I felt that I have no choice because I believe God is always there for us, watching us. I believe it is sinful not to cover our head.

In the present time, I'm still wearing hijab (However, my hijab has gotten shorter as time goes by, ;D) and I'm not planning to take it off any time in the future. InsyaAllah.

When talking about covering our head, it is related to the activities that we do daily. Which means here, what we wear influences what we do.

I know wearing hijab can be very deceiving which these people might have more serious social problems, but think of this way, those people at least they have escaped from the sins of showing their hairs to others. What say you about this?

I'm so sick of people mocking upon this matter. And for the worse, using this matter as the excuse for not covering up. Each piece of hair is counted here. What do you say about this?

I have seen a lot people who have changed from wearing hijab to uncover their heads and become more daring than anyone else. I bet there's something inside them from long time, that has been begging to be unlocked. And once "the inside" has been unlocked, it went out of control. And the only key to unlock "the inside" is by uncovering their head.

I'm saying this because once they "unlock the inside", they can dress up and act wildly, they are the next good girls gone bad which is something that they are proud of apparently.

For those who are considering to cover up, please don't look upon those people who has unlocked the inside. Look upon the good things of covering up, your sincere intention. And the only intention which is acceptable is because of Him.

God has given us lives and beauty (the girls), so we need to show some appreciation towards Him.

Covering up is not option, it's our obligation as women. No matter how hard it is, consider it as a sacrifice towards Him.

This is what I've been holding onto for all this while. Or else, I would have gone bad too! I love to dress up and become wild but I put everything aside because I know I'm not that weak and I won't give this kind of vanity a chance.

There are a lot of matters that I'm facing as I'd stumble a lot of times and I regret each time
and still struggling right now.

I really want to become a good Muslim and bring the name to world for others to admire.

I want to become a better Muslim each and every day. I really do. I'm talking here now as a very weak human being as I always got carried away with this modern life. However, this can't be the reason because everything starts with ourselves, bad things won't happen if we didn't start it.

I'm sorry if this sounds too provocative and please don't get me wrong as if I sound like I'm saying that I'm good because I'm wearing hijab. I'm not, I'm far away from good, and this is something that is bothering my mind when it comes to covering up, and I would like to share it with others. A little too harsh I know, but truth will always hurt. That's life, isn't it?

What I've learned back at school in my PAI subject was that, we should have always the feeling of fear towards God, because that's the only way for us to avoid doing the bad things. And I'm trying my best to hold tightly to it and I admit IT IS NOT EASY.

However, for those who are considering to cover up, consider this line, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

These intentions alone are not enough. Work towards it and always doa because that's our powerful weapon. InsyaAllah.

For some people, they are fine with doing other good deeds accept for covering their heads, and would put so many considerations to cover up.

Well, we'll never know when will God take our lives. I hope that helps.

And we all have to remember, heaven ain't cheap.

Well, if only you're planning to go there one day. Like me.

May Allah bless all of us. Amin.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Thank You Very Much! ^_^

Thank you TeaLoveCoffee for these awards!
Really appreciate it!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Love Matters & Go Girl Power!

Looks like I'll be staying single for a long time this time.

I know what I'm saying and I mean it. But who knows what's next for me?

Some people has been asking me the predictable questions, wondering why am I still single?

There are a lot of reasons why, but I don't want to mention here. Well, at least not now.

However, I'm surrounded with the people who are always having the problems in their relationships, and somehow the problems are really interesting!

So, I'm thinking of sharing their love matters here. Don't worry I won't tell who they are, I'll tell in general.

And I also found out that girls need to have the power to say 'NO' when the situation requires it to be. Self-assertiveness is very important here. Perhaps, I'll come out with some ideas on how to deal with it later on.

I know I'm not a good lover or else why would I be single by now, but in the way, I've learnt something. Something very valuable that some might not have experienced it before.

So, I think this will be a great opportunity to share the story with others. It will somehow help others directly or maybe indirectly.

There are some stories from others that I happened to bump into and it has become part of me. Owh, I'm so excited about this.

For the next post, I'll talk about this interesting matter, love matter of course from a friend. Poor her, she has nobody to go then she chose to talk to me.

My arms are always wide-open to all those dilemmas, feel free to drop by and share with me. I feel quite "busybody" about this matter right now. haha.

But, I'm only human, I might can just review by being a good listener because I might be out of ideas to help. And after all, I'm not a love expert, I'm just trying to help whatever I can.

That's it for now.


Friday, December 25, 2009

Daily Planner

I'm looking for a good planner for this coming new year. A planner, not an organizer or a diary okay! They are three different things!

I've been looking at the stationary store at my area and none, I couldn't find any. Well actually there's one type but it is not for my type. (Does it sound out of line now? haha!)

Anyway, I'm still hoping to find one when I get back to Shah Alam. I bet Kinokuniya has it all. Can't wait to go there. I hope it's not too late because new year is approaching, and to all those people who are after the planners too, kindly please leave at least one, just one for me! Owh please!

I'm a sucker for the beautifully and colorful designed stuff so it's not easy for me to find one. haha. But I'm sure I'll find one. Erm, I'm talking about the planner of course!

I was browsing through the net and I found these which are so my type!

Look at it, such a beauty!

or this! the color is just marvelous! and these are just the cover,
what about the inside look?

very colorful indeed! err, but i think this is pretty too much,
let's try something simpler....

like this one! this is one is better.
the simplicity makes it a perfect planner!
owh i love it!

Owh, where can I find any kind of this type of planner? Any idea? Do share okay.

And I found this cool planner for teachers. I'm not sure how it works, but I think to all my dear friends who are going to do practicum, you guyz should try download it. Click here.

Really looking forward to find a good planner, with the beautiful design too of course. hehe. I really hope they are not out of stock because I'd be very frustrated and I would make a scene in the store which not really a good thing. Or I'd make the staffs over there to recheck over and over and all over again until they'll come out with the planner that I want. Pretty much not giving them any other choice but to give me what I want. They have to remember, "Customers are always right!" LOL!

Or else I would end up something like this,

err... -_-"

Thursday, December 24, 2009

For The Practicum (Part 1)

This is a kind of picture heavy post.

Today, I went to the stationery store and bought quite a lot of stuff for my practicum.

So, basically below are the pictures of the stuff that I bought:

LOTS of pen needed just in case if your students forget
to bring their pens!

a very long ruler (30cm), liquid paper, and eraser,
the basic stuff.

mechanical pencil and the leads
(well, you can actually look at the picture and cud tell what are they,
but i still feel like telling.huhu)

these glues are important okay! take note please. huu.

and then this, you know what it is.

a stapler and the staples

pita selefon and paper clips

this is very important! a pair of good scissors!
and of course the exam pad.

haa, this one is cute,
put everything in this so-called pencil case.

looking good! but more to come! ^^

but not to forget this one okay! =D

Since this school that I'm going is still using the traditional teaching aid which is the blackboard, so I don't need to buy markers. Yeay!

Wait, did I tell you yet which school that I'm going to do my practicum?

Well, the school is SMJKC Chung Hwa Klang! Yeah, it's a Chinese school.

I know I'll be having a whole lot of brand new experience and I'm so looking forward for it. huhu.

I got to list down other things to buy, huuuu. Quite tiring okay!

I think this is it for now. I'll update anything new later okay.

Gosh, so tired right now, I think I'm going to hit the sack.


To Err is Human...

When we're small, up until now, we could never run away from making mistakes. On the way we learnt a lot of things and some even have the greatest memories that we can never forget in our entire life.

I remember when I was young, in primary school perhaps, where I really despised it when some one took my stationery, such as a pencil, because it'd make me feel really sad. It's just a pencil, but I'd still feel very sad. I was very not matured back than, and kinda still very naive as I would write a note on a piece paper and placed it in the pencil box, for example. The note would sound something like this, "If you take my stuff, I swear to God, you'd turn into a frog!"

One fine day, it was about 10 years later, I found the note that I wrote, somewhere in between the books on the shelf, and I read it. My God, what was I thinking back then? Turn into a frog? I must have watched a lot of Disney's fairy tales until it influenced my imagination that much!

Wait a minute, this is definitely out of the line. But what I'm trying to point here is that even though people like to take my stuff when I was young, I still forgave them. My mom taught me to do so. So, now it's quite relevant with the topic right?

And right now, I'm learning to forgive everyone unconditionally. Even though I was very mad before, but at this very moment, I don't want to live in anger and hatred anymore. I want to let go of the resentment and build a forgiving heart.

I don't want to be mad anymore, so I forgive everyone (whoever you are).

I know I am only human just like you and way far from perfect, so I apologize for all my wrong doings to everyone who knows me and to all dear readers who may feel irritated with some of my writings. (Don't just wait for Hari Raya to do this okay.)

And after all, we're only human we can never escape from the feelings of anger and hatred but no matter how mad we are, the most important thing that we have to remember is that ..."To err is human, to forgive is divine."

p/s, but sometimes forgiven, doesn't mean forgotten~

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Heavy for the Holidays

*the title, courtesy of Milk Toof. huhu.

Since it's holiday, I'm gaining weight! Nothing new about it, actually.

And I guess, it's the time of the month again, pimples are gathering on my face. It's like they are celebrating the occasion. Thank you very much guyz, appreciate it so much! What occasion, you figure out yourself. But pimple is indeed a friend. When we're stressed out, it will never leave us alone, it will always be there for us. That's a quality of a friend right? Think about it okay. >.<

It's almost the same things that ever happened to me on every holiday except for few things. Like always; gaining weight, and then never ending complaint of why is this happening to me? That's the nature of human I guess (don't want to be sounded sexist here. teehee.)

Since all of my friends around here are busy, I pretty much stay at home doing what I do best, attaching to my lappie, like right now and playing with my nieces and nephew. Well, of course there are times where my father complained that I need to get away from my lappie. I know I know, I should try some other hobby and leave this unhealthy habit. Well, it is unhealthy since it only contributes more fat to my body. How many days already I've been like this and imagine how much fat I've gained! -_-"

Well, other than that is of course it's my friends' weddings! It's like an alert to me to wake up and grow up! I mean here is to start thinking of the future! But there's a voice inside, says that I'll do fine. And the voice sounds so sweet telling me that I don't have to worry, it's okay not to get married early, like my friends, because one day I'll find my knight who deserve each other (me and him) and we'll live happily ever after. It's worth the wait. We'll see about that. Thank you sweet voice! You're so sweet! heh.

This holiday is pretty special, because since I'm going to do my practicum at school this coming new semester, I received pretty good things from my parents. hehe. My mom bought me a new watch and my father bought me a pair of leather shoes. These things are very important to become a teacher. ahem. Note again that I'm only doing my practicum not a real teacher yet. Imagine when become one later but of course, my first salary will go for my parents and family.

The next cool thing that I'm about to receive is of course something really special and it's big! huhu. I really can't wait! Praying hard for that. But I have to be patient because I have to wait for a while to get a brand new one. ehe.

Whatever it is, I have to lose a lot of weight! And I need to get out from home now and do some jogging! It's about 4.30 now, I have to go and get ready. I'm going jogging at 5. Not to brag about it but I'm going to Bukit Besar which it's very challenging to jog to the top. huhu. We'll see how it goes. Btw, McD is nearby so maybe I can stop for Prosperity afterwards. gagagaga.

Haha. Till next time, GO OUT AND HAVE A HEALTHY LIFE! =D

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Material Little Girl

One day, one of my nieces, Safiah Hani kept on singing this line of a song.
" 'Cause we are living in material world, and I am material girl, lalalalalalalaaa~"

This niece of mine, she has a bit of character, which makes it very interesting to know her in depth. haha. Sounds like I'm doing a case study on her but nahh. I'm just trying to figure her out. Or maybe it is? haha. So what?

Safi, that's what we all call her, she's the princess in her family. Well, don't think it as a good thing, but think it on the other way. She annoys everyone especially my mother! Gosh, I literally can see smoke coming from my mom's ears everytime she looked at my niece. Everything that Safi does, always seems to be wrong in my mom's eyes. But when it comes to other niece, let say Iman Qistina, my mom would never do that. Yeah, you know it right. Say it or you can spell it?
That's right!

Okay, let's not go to that issue. The focus here, Safi's attitude.

She likes to dress up in fancy clothes and would classify things into two things. "barang orang kaya" and "barang orang miskin". At first I was like WTFish? But now, I'm used to it.

My mother and her dislike each other. But when I think of my other niece such as dik Iman, she's a spoiled too, but my mother seems to favor her. Probably because dik Iman is always around at our home. Yeah, that could be the reason.

So, I had this conversation with Safi one day;

Me: Safi, do you really want to be rich?
: Yes! (her eyes almost popped out when she said it)
Me: Is that so, erm, so you should marry a rich guy one day or maybe anak raja or something.
Safi: Wow! (her eyes were shining)
Me: Marry anak raja la, so I'll be famous too. And you'll stay in a palace where you will become a real princess. You don't have to do the chores and you'll stay beautiful like ever!
Safi: That sounds so good la makdik! (she put her both of her hands under her chin looked like she's imagining what I'd told her)

I couldn't stand but to laugh all the way to see her actions like that but I managed to cover it up. But I had to stop the conversation before anything bad happen or maybe she's already digested whatever I'd told her which means it was too late already. haha. I kinda enjoyed messing with her mind. teehee.

Wonder how she looks like, here's a picture of her posing using her big sis's phone.

She said she wants to keep her long so she'll look very pretty.
Note that she is so into herself.
Her siblings are sometimes sick of her self-absorptive.
Imagine how my mom feels about it? That explains right? haha.

Everytime we took pictures together, she likes to complain that I look fairer than her and it's not fair. haha. Well Safi, I can't help with it. huhu.

But I like this picture of us posing in a kind of bimbotic manner. hee. So, here it is.

I think this one is not that bimbo, but when to look at it, people would say,
"hey, like aunt like niece!"

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Family Day Around The World!

I've been very stressful and today I redeemed myself.

My big bro and his family came and we went to a family day of his workplace.

I wasn't in a good mood, so at first I hesitated but then after being persuaded by his children and I didn't want to let them down so I decided to join in.

It's better than do nothing at home with messed up mind right?

So, we went there with not so promising weather cause it might just rain at any time and it did raining!

My 5-year-old adorable little niece really impressed me with her language, she's pelat and she speaks English most of the time. So, imagine how cute the language would sound? And her voice is just like Donald Duck! Super cute!

Meet Sarahelwa, and she was saying, "Look makdik, flower so preetee."
So cute, I want to squeeze her!

The family day was held at the our Museum (well, not really ours, but at our place at least.huhu.) and it continued in the evening at Taman Tamadun Islam (TTI). Boy, I'm so excited about this place!

Take note that there are no pictures of us posing in front of the monuments because all of the photos are in my big bro's camera and have not been transferred yet. Bummer. There are only the pictures of me and my big niece posing posing and posing at the nearby area (using our phones of course). hehe. We girls are good at taking bimbotic pictures of ourselves. Natural talent maybe. hehe.

Before we got into TTI, we were given a passport for each of us! Coolness!

The passport, of course.

Inside of the passport, it said something about TTI and I'd like to quote some,
"TTI monument Park provides its visitors with a unique experience. Featuring 21 great Islamic Monuments that reminisce the rise of Islam into a sophisticated global religion."

There are replicas of mosques around the globe and it only takes a few hours to go around the world!

The most breathtaking one was Kubbah As-Sakhrah, Baitul Muqqadis, Palestin. It was built in 692 C.E. under the patronage of the Umayyad Caliph Abdul al-Malik ibn Marwan. It enshrines the Sacred Rock and commemorates the Prophet Muhammad's Ascension to the heavens to visit God. Inside of the monument, my nieces and I were mesmerized with the uniqueness of the structures, carvings, the materials used, everything about the place! To think of the Palestians who are trying so hard to protect the mosque is indeed a very sacred effort and the least we can do to help them is to pray hard for them. God plans everything for a reason. They all will surely live peacefully in the here-after. Amin.

My advise is, to all who read this post, you guyz should visit this place, TTI. It's really worth it! And not to forget, for Malaysians, flash in your MyKads at the counter and you'll get 50% discounts! For real okay!

I've done my visit today and for my second visit in the future, I'll get the privilege of FREE tram ride or bicycle ride! So, I can save my energy of walking (and even save time too if you're in a hurry) by riding on the tram or bicycle maybe. But I'd prefer bicycle. I guess you know why. hehe.

So, since it is still school holidays, for those who are planning for a vacation and still blur of where to go, I have the solution!

Come and visit Terengganu! Where the heritage embraces culture (erm, not sure but this tagline though. hehe.).

For the shopaholics out there, there's a good news! Batiks are on great sale here!

So, think no more! Just come over to Terengganu!

You won't regret it. =)

P/S, I feel so much better now, thank you for those who concern! Really appreciate it!
*the sweetest smile*

Friday, December 18, 2009

My Hatred My Anger!

I'm so pissed off right now.

I never hated anyone as much I hate some one right now.

This hatred seems like will be staying for a long time, and infinity.

From now on, I will never stop hating you. You gave me no choice here.

I am so mad right now until I could not think rationally and I know I would end up crying after this. So weak as it sounds, but at least I'd feel so much better after that.

So foolish of me to think you would change and end up like real friends? Bullshit!

You don't need me, as your friend, you have thousand other friends out there, why would you need me anyway? ppft!

Mistakes we made we can't erase it, but why can't we become better and learn from the mistakes?

I just want to get over this and move forward, and you, go to hell!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Let's Ride A Bicycle!

I was watching my little niece riding on her bicycle on the other day, and the flashback of my childhood came into my mind.

I remember my first time riding on a bicycle. It wasn't something that I could be proud of.

The thing is my father didn't let me ride on a bicycle and never occur to me to ask him why.

The first time I really rode my own bicycle, (well since my parents didn't even bother to teach me how to ride a bicycle when I was younger) is when I was in Standard 6! Yeah, Darjah 6 okay. That's when I was able to cycle a bicycle. It's very embarrassing to think about it. I mean look at my niece, she's like what, 5 years old and she can ride a bicycle on her own, and I'm not talking about the tricycle.

Well, we can't turn back the time but we surely don't want to repeat the same mistake, means here, my future offspring. I won't let them to go through the same thing that I had been through. Heh.

So, on the other day, I had fun riding on a bicycle! I mean like REAL FUN! I joined the kids (my little niece and her friends) playing with the bicycle until the night after, I had a real pain at the back and under my feet. But it was worth the pain though cause I had fun! Haha. Whatever.

That was like I qada' what I had missed in the past. My big sis and her friend and plus her friend's children seemed to be enjoying watching me riding on the bicycle. Well, you guyz should be in my shoes and experience it yourselves!

Alright, I'll leave you with the pictures of my little niece and I posing on a cool ride which is bicycle of course. Ehe.

yeah, we had so much fun!

look at my little niece. what's she doing? haha.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Baby's Names

I am very excited when talking about having children. My own children of course.

But let's see first. To have a baby, we must go through a marriage first just to have legal sex afterwards. Woohoo! Okay, let's not go to that extend, shall we.

Then, let's have babies! Boy, I'm so into this!

Since, I'm so single right now, I can't imagine any guy to have my baby with. ahem.

So, back to the back up plan, adopting a child!

Alright, so I'm planning to adopt a child in the near future? This is quite crazy. Why? Because I'm still young? Well, that's not quite a good reason. I'd love to become a mother at young age. I think this way I'll become more responsible towards everything in my life and appreciate my family even more.

Sounds almost nonsense, but that's the truth. And I really want to do this. I need to work hard from now on, for that.

Hey, guess what, I even have already come out with names for my babies. Ehe. Quite dramatic but it's really fun doing it. Okay, you can call me loser, pathetic or whatever, cause I don't mind!

So, I decided to adopt a baby girl and the possible name that I could come out with is Kayla Zara. Kayla means the wise child and Zara, you know one of the famous collections around here.

If it ever will happen to me to have another child in my life which I hope it's a boy this time, I'd name him Khalief Ferdous. I'm in love with the name Khalief! Khalief means the leader and Ferdous is the name of paradise. So, come together, the leader of the paradise, something like that.

Guess, I'm in love with K all the way! The names of the babies are the proof.

For those who think it is nonsense, well think again, or maybe you should try doing this.

Take sometime and come out with the list of names. You'll be very excited to have babies one day or maybe ask your girlfriends or boyfriends to get married right away! Haha. Well, that maybe too much. I got too carried away. Ehe.

Happy naming your babies! ;D

Friday, December 11, 2009


First of all, I would like to express my gratitude towards God. I can now think of what to wear for next semester. Just another reason to shop actually. Ehe.


I was very excited to know that I pass all papers. It was a nightmare last semester and I finally made it. Well, this is just the beginning, there's MORE to come. I can imagine how excited I will be in the end of the last semester, after sending the thick-covered book, which is the thesis, and knowing the last semester result, which will proceed me to the graduation day, I'll be dancing with the stars! Haha!

Owh well, while I was very excited earlier, then I found another news, (I know I should not be depressed anymore, but this one I couldn't help it) some one that I know quite well, got engaged. So, congratulations to you too! You've changed, you've grown up. That girl must be really lucky. Envy you girl. I will never forget what told me before, I deserved some one better. Thanx and I wish you all the best.

Somehow, I feel kind of stupid because I was planning to visit your mother, the same day you're engaged? Yesterday right? Haha. God have saved me from embarrassing myself. I can't imagine, go knocking on your house, then meet your mother who is very busy with the engagement stuff, and me? What would I do to be in the situation? Thank you God.

So, CONGRATULATIONS to all of you!

I am just so amazed with myself. I am still strong at this point. Still strong and keep moving. Thanx to all my supportive friends. Love you guyz to the bone!

Owh well, what the heck was I thinking? ppfft.

Life is short, let's don't waste it with something not important such as looking at the past maybe? Something like that, which only will slow us down and nothing but a burden. Leave it all behind, and move forward!

I'm so grateful right now and CONGRATULATIONS again my dear friends! =)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dealing With The Elderly

My grandmother has been staying with us for about a week or so already. It has been a pleasure to have her around here. She's my mother's mother. Make sense?

However, there's a interesting situation happens in taking care of my grandmother. But before to go details on to the situation, maybe I should tell a little bit about my grandmother and my mother.

My grandmother. My relationship between me and her is not really that close. Luckily, she doesn't live far from our home, so it is not that hard for me to visit her. (which I seldom did that, I know I know how bad it is, and I kinda regret that but very grateful now that she's staying with us.)
She's only has two children which are my mother and a son. According to my mother, she (mom) was not raised by her. She (mom) was raised by some one else. I can't recall who. But the thing is, my grandmother always practices favoritism which she favors her son more that my mother and that irritates my mom the most. Nevertheless, I still love her. And in fact, love her even more now.

My mother. She's my ever-conservative mother. She's conservative that sometimes it is entertaining because of her actions and her words. The thing about her is that she is kuat membebel. I hope I won't inherit that gene one day. Sometimes, it is just too much and my father and I just ignored her bebelan. Hee. Sorie mom, it is just too much for things that is just remeh. It has become her habit. But of course the thing I'd miss the most when we're apart is her lecture! Haha.

So, here is the thing.

Taking care of the elders can sometimes be patience-testing, you what I mean? But what I can see, I have more patience to compare with my mother's. In taking care of my grandmother, my mother seems to have short temper in dealing with her. She would lose temper easily with simple things that my grandma had unintentionally done. Come on, my grandmother is in her late 80's, what can we expect from her. I said this to my heart, "Hey mom, chill out, remember karma okay?" I wouldn't dare to say it loud to her. Haha. But of course, I have no such intention towards it okay.

From the situation, I have learned something. In taking care of the elders, we have to be really sincere in doing so. My mother might sometimes lost her temper easily, but I could see she really cares about my grandma. She would buy my grandmother's favorite food and would care of her clothes to wash. Maybe it is just her habit that she can't help it. But I really hope my grandmother didn't take it too seriously. I could see, she is scared of my mother sometimes. I'll make sure she's feeling okay all the time. I'll come out with some lame jokes, she'll laugh. Ehe.

Therefore, dealing with the elders is not an easy task. Remember, it is very important to respect them, and do it with love and sincerity. InsyaAllah, everything's going to be alright. =)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Green is the new red!

When talking about the green color, what's coming into your mind?

Vegetables, grasses, off-you-go traffic light color, and what else?

My mind can't thing of any other cool green stuffs at the moment.

Wait, maybe...

The Incredible Hulk?
He's a tough man but has some anger management issue.

So, what else?

Hey, come on! Have anyone ever forgotten about this one....

Yeah, ka-ching! ($_$)v
And of course if it's Malaysian currency,
it's only RM5 note is green

Is money everything to you?

I'd say, money is very important in our life!

Face the truth, can we survive without money? If you ask me, you know what's the answer.

Yes, yes, I know I know, people might say I'm materialistic or whatever, but let's face it again, can we survive without money?

I don't think so, mate!

How to earn a lot of money???

WORK HARD laa. I don't believe in easy money. Easy come, easy go. As simple as that.

But this is not my main concern right now, cause I just want to say that green is the new red! Haha.

I'm in love with green, apparently.

I remember in the movie, "A Confession of a Shopaholic", the green scarf remember????

Yeah, it just looks good in any colors accept for yellow! Don't wear green with yellow! PLEASE!
It's just killing me, to see the combination. The movie proves me right.

So, I'm looking for a classy green clutch, but still fail to find one, the one which suits my soul. :D

But hey, I ended up buying a green purse, instead. Haha. I was thinking that it'd be a difference if I carry green purse instead of any other dull color such as beige, gray of maybe black or brown?

Anyway, I loike it a lot!

Here it is,

Say hye to my new baby!

Never mean to be pretentious, but I just want to share something new with others.

Having to carry a green would be something really odd for some people, but I'd tell you not to be afraid, there's nothing wrong to try new things and after all, it's not a crime too (but if you wear something Lady Gaga for instance, it's a fashion crime!). Tee hee.

So, if you see me carrying this new baby of mine, please say HI. =)

On the other hand.....

dunno why, this is my first time wearing green.

and yeah, ahem...
do we look good together,
eh wait! i mean do we look good in green?

(note: he's my classmate and single)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sexual Revolution

I was reading about pre-marital sex (why on this matter is something else), and I came cross this post from "Dewanand of Netherlands".

It is relating to the post of "Pre-Marital Sex and Indian Culture".

It is quite interesting maybe I can share with anyone to read.

* * *

After the second world war the sexual revolution started in the Netherlands. Holland was one of the first nations where sex became nothing more than a cup of coffee. In the 1960's and after it the sexual revolution in the Netherlands was extreme. there was partner changes, group-sex, tools-sex, and many more materialized forms of sexual things. Now we are one generation further and look at the results. Many old people lives in extreme loneness. Family ties are practically gone forever here in the Netherlands. The whole society does not exist here in fact. Dutch nation is being presented as a fabric, where only material profit is important.

Children here have a hard youth. I feel so sad to see that young white girls cannot be happy, their whole youth is gone. For a little girl the youth must be pure and without problems of adults. If young girls are not happy then there is something really wrong with the society. In Hindu culture young girls have the powers of Durga Maata and in fact they are treated as holy members of the society. The facts of life in dutch free sex society: Many girls have no morality anymore. They see themselves as lower evolved creatures and they hate their own body. Mentally they are depressed and the result is that they do not enjoy relations with men. Lesbianism is very normal here in the Netherlands. Many young women are single and have no relations. Many white Dutch boys cannot find a girl here anymore, because the culture is gone and the pressure to be good in the sleeping room is extreme. There is always a man who is many times better and the Dutch boys knows that this is the reality. Love is gone. Tenderness is gone. Relations are built upon sexual needs, without the feeling of being connected with the other soul.

Love is completely materialized.

My vision: I think that sexuality is very important for every human being. and that's why it is better to marry at young age, to develop your own feelings toward and to fulfill your duty to reproduce. Every human being needs intimate relations to feel that he/she is living and enjoying life. But men have other definitions of intimacy than women. Maybe it is better to learn more things about the female vision on intimacy and love.

Sex and pornography are typically male things in society, because men have more needs and they must prove that they are good and potent or full with brutal male energy. Maybe it is better to make it easier to find a public woman and to let young boys develop their sexual personalities, But it is even better to let young boys marry early ages and to learn how to love somebody and to take care of the weaker gender.

The biggest problems in the Netherlands: Sexual orientation. many males have a homosexual phase in their life to experiment with the own gender. sex is the only goal of many males here. just like a sickness that cannot be cured. Many girls do not want a friend anymore and they decide to live alone forever, without children. Empty lives, filled with the richness of many thousands Dutch guilders.

Having mountains of money yet being extremely poor . Typical Dutch life here.

Many women here told me the following things: The men are just like animals, because sex and dirty pornography (doing things) are the only goals in a intimate relation with a female. The respect and tenderness are gone in free sex societies. Only doing (mating activity) counts. The satisfaction of women is very low and relations are terminated without being started.

Why do we condemn tenderness and deep intimacy (immaterial) between a man and a woman as being old-fashioned and backward? Old traditions are based upon wisdom that is developed during many centuries. the technology of the human spirit is lost nowadays and developing it again will take many centuries. We are back at the stone age, where females were preys and males were the hunters.

Friday, November 27, 2009


This is it.

It's the end of all the heart aching, breaking into pieces....

and finally.......


But I'm sure if it's in the real world, it will be more than that?

I mean is it really happily ever after ending, after all?

Let's not talk about it right? There's no use to argue anyway, if it's the fate.

While watching, tears rolling down on our cheeks, sob sob sob.

I like this line, "Tuhan takkan menduga kita sesuatu yang diluar kudrat kita." Something like that laa. But it really means so deep. So true.

I'm going to miss watching this series. Missing already! Luckily, there are online sources. Thanx TV3! Really made my day!

So, so long Nur Kasih! And hello Alif Firdaus? I bet that one can't beat Nur Amina! Huu.

p/s, I heard there will be the sequel of Nur Kasih? If it is, it would be so cool! ;)

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Okay, here are a few questions.
To test your loneliness level and how lonely you really are.

So, here we go.

1) Are you feeling lonely right now?
(a) No
(b) Not sure
(c) Yes

2) If yes (If no, don't need to proceed laa okay!), is it because you're single?
(a) No lah. Cis.
(b) Yes. Cis.
(c) Cis!

3) Hey, come on! Don't you have any siblings to argue with?
(a) No.
(b) Yes.
(c) Yes, but they don't care about me.

4) Any friends to mess around?
(a) They all have their lives, no time to listen to me.
(b) My friends are many but everyone seems busy. This is similar to (a) above laa.
(c) All above. LOL!

5) Wait a minute, what about your parents???
(a) They are too tired to argue with me.
(b) Sometimes, there are things we can't share with them.
(c) All above.

6)Why laa?
(a) I don't know.
(b) Maybe I should be more independent.
(c) All above

Alright, let's check.
If your answers are all C, it means that YOU ARE LONELY!


Yesterday, I hung around the wiser people. (The word wiser should give you the idea of the people or else think of your parents and grandparents.)

We were doing the preparation for the wedding ceremony this coming Sunday.
It was so much fun to be hanging around with those people. Like I said, they are the wiser people. So, when we talked, we talked about their lives, their families, their kids, gossiping (duh, women!), everything which made me wonder how's my life in the future would be?

It's pretty amazing when I could join in the gang. Adding up some humors (which I was afraid at first, wouldn't be accepted?) But, I was lucky maybe? Or it is just my nature? I am easily accepted by the wiser community. Haha. Whatever.

So, today I'll be joining them again. I'd feel so grown up to be accepted among them. (G, I feel so old? But wiser! Tee hee.)

Hopefully, I'd gain something today. And of course a lot energy needed today. Since I'm among the not-so-wiser people, the energy is much needed.

I'll leave you with the picture of my niece and nephew on the wedding pelamin. They were excited and Iman Qistina has this dream of marrying Dafi AF one day. LOL. (spot the little girl in red).


Wednesday, November 25, 2009


NO MORE depressing post after this.

This is the brand new me!

Let's stay positive and always keep THE BIG SMILE on our face!

*the sweetest smile*

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Here's the thing.

I've been thinking,
what exactly is going on with me?

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking, think, think, and think,
and finally!

The answer is...
I'm a stubborn girl! Very stubborn in fact!

Very stubborn and PLUS kuat merajuk! What a complete combination!

I'm stubborn that sometimes I just don't want to listen to people around me, even my parents!
I have this stupid ego which I grew up with. And I can't get rid of it. It's part of me now and I can't imagine my life without my ego!? Pfft!

My current mood of my ego is "I'm fine, I don't anyone but myself to comfort me."

So, I guess that is why I'm better off on my own, cause that is what my ego is telling me to and I agree with it.

Then, the next point is, I am kuat merajuk which is quite a synonym with myself. Ask my friends, I'm sure they have a lot to say about that. Haha. Sorry babes, I really can't help it. Ehe.

Blame the stupid ego.

And I'm thinking again, maybe that is why I'm still on my own. I'm argumentative, I like to argue. This is definitely not a good gene for a girlfriend. Well, maybe.

Well, since it is a nasi minyak season, it occurs to me to think about my future spouse (whoever he would be).

To find some one who will accept me for who I am is never easy. I need to be with some one who I feel comfortable to be under my own skin. I don't need to pretend to become some one else. My ego would come in between but so far, I still control it. I mean still remember some one told me, "Remember, don't let your ego clouds your mind." And I found it very true.

I talk loud (maybe it's typical people from the East Coast?), I laugh loud too (especially with my crazy course-mates), I argue a lot lately, well, what else? I'm not like every other girl, I am me. If some guy like to be with a lemah lembut girl, I definitely fail to be the candidate. I somehow envy those girls. Haiya!Add Image

However, I never ask for Mr. Perfect as I'm not perfect myself. I just want to become a better person. Togetherness, we make it through this life, work on our imperfections, work on our weaknesses and together we become better people. That is exactly what my dream is.

So, I guess, I should just stay as who I am, right? My knight must be somewhere out there, still searching for true love (if it ever exists laa) just like me. Don't lose faith ya? I'll be waiting for ya!

Gosh, this is so pathetic! T_T

Anyway, I should stop now before I'm going nonsense.
Till next time, toodles! :D

Love me sincerely for who I am,
and I'll have no reason to deny it~

Monday, November 23, 2009


What happened between you and me in the past,
It's never easy to forget.

Maybe you have forgotten,
You left me bleeding before,
I can tell you, it hurt so bad!

It's never easy to forget everything about you,
Never been easier,
And yet I managed to forget about you,
By hating you so much,
Until the feeling became neutral,
I didn't feel either hate or like you anymore.

You have no idea what I've been through,
My heart had damaged since the day,
and slowly I healed it,
and slowly I gained some happiness,
through true friendship.

It's never easy until now,
It's bleeding again,
Imagine how I feel about you right now?

Sunday, November 22, 2009


“Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.”

Saturday, November 21, 2009


One of my friends once told me,

"If you want to forget someone, you have to hate that person very much."

Friday, November 20, 2009


Here's the problem,

During the group discussion for the macroteaching, I found it very hard to converse in English among the group members. This is like the first time we were assigned in the groups where we couldn't get to choose the group members (well, if we were among our closed friends, we would be conversing in Malay of course! xD). I admit, I was very uncomfortable at first but after a while, I found it very interesting and inspiring to work with the people outside of the circle. It's like something I would do it long time ago but didn't get the chance, and there's a factor of don't-want-to-offend-our-friends, if we didn't join them in the group discussion. Or maybe it is just me who think too much? Pffft!

Okay okay, my point here is that, I couldn't converse well in English. I would mix up everything, mumble here and there, and use the wrong pronunciation usually! Hahaha! That is why "practice makes perfect" is well known! My speaking skill is kind of rusty now and I need to converse in English as much as possible!

However, there are times where I could speak in English very fluently, in fast pace, it is just so weird laa dey....

But don't worry, next semester, I'll make sure all of my students to speak English during my periods and I'll encourage them to speak in English even outside of the classrooms. Sounds like a very tough job, but I what I can do is, never stop, to never give up, and never surrender! I'll do my best! InsyaAllah. ^^

So, let's converse in English, people! So that other people won't look down at us easily. =)

Thursday, November 19, 2009


"I'm a proud future teacher!" Yes, that's right! I am!

Next year, I'll be starting to do my practicum in any school around Shah Alam, Klang, or Damansara. Cross my finger, I hope I will be sent to an okay school. Haha.
However, I don't mind which school actually, because what really matters is within me. I have to be prepared mentally and physically to face any kind of student inside of the classrooms.
So, here I am, working on my lesson plan for my macro teaching, just another practice before going into the real world which is the school! Yeah! I'm so looking forward even though I'd pee in my underwear when to think of the types of problematic students. LOL!

Okay okay, I'm cool now and hopefully I'll keep my cool till the end.

Teaching is a sacred profession. I can't wait to serve my beloved country by helping those poor students to be advanced so that they won't be left out in this ever changing world. I can't change the whole world but the least I can do is to do the best in what I'm doing right now. And let's contribute something to our country, shall we?

Political situation in our country is pretty messed up right now. But don't lose faith, just yet.
Give it another chance, and let's see how it goes. We can't change certain people with their obsessive perspectives, but as the future teachers, we can make a different. I'm not talking about "hey, don't vote that party, vote this one!" NO, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEAN. My point here is that let's create a future generation where they can think rationally. If something is wrong; obviously wrong, so it is wrong. Have the guts to voice it out and let's do the right thing right! Don't blindly support something which is obviously wrong in any manner. To be able to know the right thing, that is why the knowledge and education are VERY IMPORTANT.

Therefore, I am very proud with my path right now. Proud future teacher eyy? Ehe. :D

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


First of all, I would like to say this. My life is pathetic! Ho yeah!

Well, about the plan of getting an adopted child one day is no kidding actually.
A lot of consideration need to be put. And I have to be really prepared mentally and physically.
When I become a mommy, I 'll have limitation in everything..kot? But the most obvious one is of course I'll have to limit my time hanging out with friends, which I find it very hard to do it. BUT, the same thing will happen to them (my friends) when they have their own families. So, I guess when everyone is busy with their partners, I'll be occupying myself with the motherhood life. A single mom sounds so cool rite? (Note: this will sound very pathetic, so please help yourself, you can laugh if you want to.)

People has been telling me all the stuff like "Come on, Durrah. There are so many guyz out there for you. You'll find someone, one day." and there's this friend of mine who sort like accused me for going against the nature or sunnah Nabi S.A.W. She must get me wrong. It is not that I don't wanna get married, I really want to and have my own babies. I put everything to His hands. The adoption is just a back up plan mana la tahu if I kawen lambat ke, well at least I already have a baby to accompany me when I'm lonely, right?

Owh well, everything is a mess so far. With the interruption of the guy who's supposed to be gone long time ago, it makes a complete mess. I only wish to tell him one thing which is "Hey, if you really wanna do this, come on and do it right okay!"(regardless whatever I said if you really want to do it). But he seems happy without me, so WTFish I'm still thinking of him right?

So, what I'm doing right now is moving on with my life and stick to the plan no matter how pathetic it is. Let's move forward and never look back! YEAH!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Hey you,
I let you go, even it seemed so hard,
so don't come back,
just don't come back, don't ever come back.

Hey you,
the reason is simple,
we are not meant to be together,
I'd only bring the bad news,
it's like a disease.

Hey you,
I believe you'll find the kind of happiness in your life,
maybe it is already in front of your eyes, and you're holding it,
so open your eyes and don't let go of it,
don't ever let it go, 'cause I know how it hurts.

Hey you,
I know it is not love, you don't even love me,
And I know you're good at it,
and good at messing with my mind.

Hey you........goodbye~


Saturday, November 14, 2009


Well, seems like I'll be using my weekends by working. How boring it is, but it's good to get busy when there are lot of stuffs are messing with your mind. So, I'll be working my best and hopefully things won't get hard on me. A newbie meh. Huhu.

And I'm still thinking of adopting a baby in the future. Therefore, this will be a good practice for me to gain so much money as possible. Chaiyok Durrah Farahi! I can do this! Let see how it goes.

p/s, this is so pathetic okay!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Cintaku tak sempurna;
tidak penah sempurna.

Mengapa pergi meninggalkanku
di saatku memerlukanmu?

Aku pasti ini cinta,
dan cinta ini hanyalah untukmu.

Friday, November 6, 2009

MY LIFE PLAN (part 1)

I've been emotionally down lately, but I' getting better now. Ho yeah! I was thinking about my life plan a lot lately. So, here it is:

I need to get a job with lucrative profits, then I'll work super hard and until I'm financially stabled, I wanna adopt a child or two. Then, we'll live happily ever after. InsyaAllah. Life should not be complicated.

Don't get me wrong when I say I wanna adopt a child. I wanna get married, and have my own children, I really want to. But to think of the process, going through a relationship with a guy is very complicated. Sometimes, I think I will never find the right one for me. Pathetic! Saya lebih rela single je memanjang kalau jumpa2 dengan lelaki tak guna je, bukan cinta! Saya mahukan cinta sebenar. True love! Haihhh!

Anyhow, saya berserah pada Ilahi. He knows what's best for me. About the plan above, I'll try my best to adopt a child one day. At least, bila semua orang da busy ngan rumah tangga masing2, I'll have my little angel on my own. Huhu.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Hopefully, things will get better when I go home,

Hopefully, my mind is more stable after I get home,

Hopefully, I won't be hoping on you anymore after this,

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully,

you understand what's in my heart by now.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Stupidity comes before wise. And stupidity doesn’t come only once, but MANY TIMES before we’ll finally be wise enough (well, at least wiser). I’ve learnt my lesson, big time!


The more I try to change, the more I am still the same!


Thursday, October 22, 2009

-.-.- Where are you? -.-.-

Why are you doing this to us?
What have we done to deserve this?
Have you thought of what are we feeling right now?
We are freaking worried about you!
So please, come home, contact us
wherever you are...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

-.-.- All I want is you but God knows well -.-.-

Ya Allah, jika dia benar untukku,
dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku,
Jika dia bukan milikku,
damaikanlah hatiku dengan ketentuanMu...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

-.-.- Older Wiser -.-.-

The terms "older wiser" is very common among us when to describe the older we are the wiser we will be. I totally agreed! And I'm referring to myself! I feel so much older and wiser right now!

The more problems, issues, obstacles, difficulties, etc etc I have to go through, the more strength I'd gained and the more confidence I'd feel to go through this life. I might be very different from the previous years, and now I proudly want to say that I am matured enough to make any decision in my life. A bit too late maybe, but I don't mind. This is the real turning point of mine! No words can describe how grateful I am right now. Alhamdulillah.

Any how, there is more to come in the future and I know I'm only human; I might fall again but I believe if we keep a strong faith in ourselves, we can make it through. Yeah, I believe. InsyaAllah.

My view towards "love" has changed and the other perspectives too. For the guys who think they can come into my life and mess it all, coming for a free ride, you guys better back off! I'm furious about this. I'd rather be single for a long period or maybe forever if there is a need for me to choose between those. My love is.....

My life is beautiful even though it is not perfect or even sometimes I'd find it shitty but that's life. The real winner is when you can cope with all kinds of obstacles in this life. When you fall, you never give up, stand again even though it is very hard, stand up no matter what, keep on moving forward, achieve what we should be achieving. That's a real winner.
And remember one thing, "Kebahagiaan bukan hanya memerlukan cinta, tetapi jua pegangan dan ilmu pengetahuan".

I am proud with who I am right now. I am older and I'm wiser.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

-.-.- L.O.V.E. is... -.-.-

LOVE is...
not just about woohoo.

LOVE is...
not just about saying 'I love you'

LOVE is...
not just about hugging and kissing.

LOVE is...
not just about holding hands.

LOVE is...
not just about having fun together.

LOVE is...
beyond all above.

LOVE is...

Thursday, October 1, 2009

-.-.- Just maybe... -.-.-

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you, "Please don't go..."
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, "Please don't go"
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.

I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...

Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...

Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.

'cause we were both young when I first saw you......

~~~I hope you will keep listening to this song like I do, even though I know this love story seems impossible to happen. Thanks for remembering this song and me.......

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

** Take a break! **

It's been a very hectic week and it will continue until the end of the semester. Adoyai.
Anyway, I have something really hilarious to share. It somehow can help me to loosen up the stress. I laughed so hard everytime I watch those videos and I hope you would too. Erm, if there is anyone to read this.
So, here we go...

Thanks youtube!
Enjoy! :D