When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah


I MISS YOU CHEK..... ;(
we will meet again one day...

Grown-up Conversation

Just recently, I had this conversation with one of my friends. This friend of mine, she likes to share her experience with her previous boyfriends, and her current boyfriends as well. Yeah, I got that right, boyfriend with the s. Fyi, she is a mixed Sabahan. I envy her body. Beautiful front and back (well, at least I think so la). What more can a girl ask for? :P

So, she shared with me how she deals with her boyfriends (how many let's not talk about it k) and I bluntly told her "wow, how I wish I can be like you!" after hearing her stories. Errrr, to think about that again, no thank you. I like myself right now better. I just wanted to be sounded cool I guess. ppft.

Then, I innocently asked her, "what about if kantoi later in the future?"

And she said something like this, "well, first comes first, there's no such thing as happily ever after. S**t happens. Just see la what will happen later. Meanwhile, let's enjoy the ride."

The interesting part is, when she wanted to pass me some boy who want to date her but she rejected him because of some reason.

"Are you kidding me? No, thank you!" That was my answer. haha.

So, I asked again, why did she reject that guy. Then she said, "well, i'm not interested in Malay guyz. They are not loyal, not matured, treat their gf very badly and bla bla bla..."

*crickets*

Erm, okay..

So, Malay guyz are like that. And it even occurred to me that this could be the reason why I'm still single. gulp.

Whatever it is, I'm not the type of overgeneralized person. I believe she just happened to meet with the bad ones, it doesn't mean that every Malay man is like that. right right?

Owh well, it has been nice listening to her story. There were still more, but I can't share everything here. heheheh.

What Divides Us Women...

The first thing that came up to our mind (women) when we heard some guy is dating this particular girl is, "Is she covered up or not?" or in BM, "dia pakai tudung ke tak?"

Nowadays, this question becomes common among us and it actually divides us women into these groups which are covered up and of course not covered up.

So, which group are you in?

I missed out one group.There's also certain women who choose to be in between; to go covered up and not at the same time.

The thing is, we are judged by what we are wearing. Our tudung of course.

As for me, so far Alhamdulillah, I never went outside without any selendang covered my head. I pray hard on this one because I'm trying my best to stay istiqamah on covering up.

I have a lot of friends who are covered up and in fact the majority of my friends are covered up. Probably because I came from a religious school.

I hate it when people judge us by our tudung or selendang. We people who covered up are holding the image, the clean image everywhere we go. The free hair women are always referred to the not so nice attitudes.

But to tell the truth, there are no such things anymore.

The vanity is everywhere, covered up or not, we women (or human;to be in general) are always exposed to the vanity side.

I'm not a good muslimah even though I'm covered up. I'm not happy with that and always pray hard for hidayah... :(

I've been thinking of life in Here-after a lot lately.

And I'm thinking what will happen if God takes my live when I'm not ready like right now? Because to count all my ibadah right now, it makes me wanna cry so hard....

Just covering our hair is not enough! There are a lot more of things we women need to do!

Therefore, I have decided, I should read a lot on spiritually inspired books. Currently, I'm reading this book "You can be the happiest women in the world". Just about time (thank you PD!), I was looking for something good to read, rather than to read those fiction books, I'm so happy to have one of the copies right now. I just start reading on it, I'd probably put up a review on it later on in the future. InsyaAllah.

Covered up or not, let's together we try our best, pray hard, look for hidayah as much as we can. And after all, it's never too late to do the right thing now. InsyaAllah.

p/s, I never believe in "heaven can wait", it only works on narrow-minded people.

It's Okay If You Want To Get Married...

Hurmmm...

My best friend revealed to me not long ago, that some one asked her to get married. Some kind of proposed I guess.

I had a shock of my life!

I don't even know that guy, she just told me like that, it's indeed shocking!

So, I was being a total jerk. I told her all the excitements that she'd be missing if she gets married at this age.

Not to be jealous or anything, but I was simply being selfish. All I was thinking was that, "How am I going to go shopping if she really gets married right now?" or or or "I can't hang out with her anymore after this, not after she got married with I don't know who that guy is!"

I was thinking straight. I'm sorry.

I should think more on her side. She seemed puzzled as well. And I shouldn't be telling all those things that totally not helping her decision. Well, it does help but it is just not it.

From now on, I'll be more rational and supportive. To my dearest best friend, I really really really love you and if you really really really think and have already given a deep thought about my opinions about it, I think it's okay if you want to get married now. Like you said, it's a big big decision.

I don't wanna be such a jerk friend, and keep you from what you really want. Follow your heart, and most importantly, solat istikarah if you have to. hee.

Since we'll be graduating soon (well, I have another semester ahead), I don't see it as a problem anymore to think about marriage. Maybe your time has come.

As for me, I'll be fine. I'll be your fairest bridesmaid, if it going to happen this soon laa . teehee,

So, here I even have a picture of a perfect wedding outfit. I'm sure you will love it as much as I am. hee.

Credit picture to tealovecoffee. :D

I think you'll like it in green rite? hehe.


Nevertheless,

FRIENDS FOREVER! =)

First Love

Everyone will have the experience with the first love.

Some might get very lucky, end up with the first love and still going strong.

I envy you people.

At this very moment, I just realize that my first love is truly my first love.

What I mean here is, I just realize how strong my first love is. I even pat myself at the back, admiring myself for still having the same feeling for about 11 years. With the same guy.

He was my first love.

I still remember how naive I was back then but still I was able to like, admire, or love, this guy.

I thought I've already moved on, but I guess it's never easy to walk away.

I bumped into him recently, and we even met at our so-called reunion. Well, I remember I was very cool, we talked like two old friends who haven't met for a long time. Inside my heart, only God knows what!

He looked stunning like always. Well, depends on how you perceive stunning as this is full of biased! You have to understand this situation.

Erm, I guess I'm okay, nothing to feel sad about, it is all in the past now. It's time for a new chapter. Looking back once a while is okay, but don't get too carried away, it will only do us harm.

Wait, nothing to feel sad about eh? Maybe a little bit.

Well, at least we're still friends, that's important.

So, all the best to all of us. Good luck in every thing you do.

And as for me, it's time for a new love. I will keep searching and searching until I get fed up. I don't mind. Life is just cruel like that.

Words of wisdom: "You don't just stop loving someone; either you never did or always will."

Too Scared

It's been a while.

Been pretty busy.

Today, I was shocked with the news I heard from kampung.

One of my neighbours passed away late evening yesterday. Innalillah. Al- Fatihah.

This is very shocking.

And I can't accept any kind of shocking news from kampung, I will become too scared, don't feel comfortable just like right now.

;(

I'm worried about my family; parents at home. So damn scared. If anything happens to them, I don't think I can go on with my life...

I'm too scared now until I can't sleep, I can't close my eyes.

God, help me, I need more strength.

I don't like this feeling.

And I just wanna home now~

The Girlfriends

*demam*

Gosh, I thought I was one of the toughest people to get any infection easily but I guess my anti-body is not that strong anymore. I have to take some supplement or something to get me going tough again. Well, if that ever going to work la kan. haihhh.

So, I'm not feeling well. The best people to be around me right now are my good girlfriends. They are being very nice to me and I'm glad to have them around, especially when I'm sick, they are always there to cheer me up and willing to send me to the clinic. Thank you guyz! You know who you are. *wink*

And I'm thinking, so far I have so many girlfriends to compare with the boy-friends. This is pretty fun actually. And I love my girlfriends!

This probably happens because I came from all girls school. And and *coughcough*...never mind about that. hehe.

The cool thing about having girlfriends, we won't have any problems in hugging each other and especially times like this, I need as much hugs as possible. :(

I miss my family actually.....

However, I have to be strong. I admit I'm a spoil child, but right now, I'm trying my best to stand on my own. My family are far away, and I have to be independent.

This is not going to be easy. Right now, I fell sick but this is not going to stop me from doing my routine . And since I'm doing my practicum now, I think I need to be more decisive. I have to be determine to achieve something. And after all, I'm the role model for my students now. So, I need to behave.

Wait, I was talking about my girlfriends lah, see I've melencong. teehee.

Owh yeah, I don't mind to be friends with many girlfriends, but I'M STRAIGHT okay!

Owh, I'm done with my ROS report! Yeay!

But there's something upsets me at the moment...

(-_-)