Here's the thing.
I've been thinking,
what exactly is going on with me?
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking, think, think, and think,
The answer is...
I'm a stubborn girl! Very stubborn in fact!
Very stubborn and PLUS kuat merajuk! What a complete combination!
I'm stubborn that sometimes I just don't want to listen to people around me, even my parents!
I have this stupid ego which I grew up with. And I can't get rid of it. It's part of me now and I can't imagine my life without my ego!? Pfft!
My current mood of my ego is "I'm fine, I don't anyone but myself to comfort me."
So, I guess that is why I'm better off on my own, cause that is what my ego is telling me to and I agree with it.
Then, the next point is, I am kuat merajuk which is quite a synonym with myself. Ask my friends, I'm sure they have a lot to say about that. Haha. Sorry babes, I really can't help it. Ehe.
Blame the stupid ego.
And I'm thinking again, maybe that is why I'm still on my own. I'm argumentative, I like to argue. This is definitely not a good gene for a girlfriend. Well, maybe.
Well, since it is a nasi minyak season, it occurs to me to think about my future spouse (whoever he would be).
To find some one who will accept me for who I am is never easy. I need to be with some one who I feel comfortable to be under my own skin. I don't need to pretend to become some one else. My ego would come in between but so far, I still control it. I mean still remember some one told me, "Remember, don't let your ego clouds your mind." And I found it very true.
I talk loud (maybe it's typical people from the East Coast?), I laugh loud too (especially with my crazy course-mates), I argue a lot lately, well, what else? I'm not like every other girl, I am me. If some guy like to be with a lemah lembut girl, I definitely fail to be the candidate. I somehow envy those girls. Haiya!
However, I never ask for Mr. Perfect as I'm not perfect myself. I just want to become a better person. Togetherness, we make it through this life, work on our imperfections, work on our weaknesses and together we become better people. That is exactly what my dream is.
So, I guess, I should just stay as who I am, right? My knight must be somewhere out there, still searching for true love (if it ever exists laa) just like me. Don't lose faith ya? I'll be waiting for ya!
Gosh, this is so pathetic! T_T
Anyway, I should stop now before I'm going nonsense.
Till next time, toodles! :D
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1 year ago